Reasons for home edding

[slyvia]

Nosey Question really - but for myself have just found that my son, 9, having been to 2 schools now has suffered at the hands of peer pressure and disruption in the class and general unhappiness at how boring (desk based) school is. Just wondered what other people reasons were

can i just say that, in a world where even Pingu goes to (and has a ball at) school, it is highly unlikely that any child is going to reach the age of 4 without being provided with a most rosy-hued image of the glories of school

"When I grow up, Miss Honey, I want to be a teacher just like you"

It's everywhere, even in Richard Scarry.

and that's before you consider the fact that all the children our children know are going off to school and being told what a lovely time they'll have.

I think a 5 year old can get a very clear (mythologised) idea of school that they might well be keen to act on, whatever the preferences of the parents.

My DD has been going on about Little School since before she turned 2, IIRC - we'd made a big effort to be positive about it, particularly because DH's children i.e. her older siblings have all had a rotten time of it in one way or another (a lot of this has influenced our leaning towards HE) and, whether she goes to school or not in the end, we absolutely do not want DD to have a negative view of education.

Sorry I'm waffling.

I used to love Richard Scarry books! I had a big book of words in various languages illustrated by him. What was that worm thing with one shoe? Or did I dream it?

lowly worm. lowly goes to school too. And he loves it as well.

To add to the list piscesmoon mentioned, there are children who just school refuse.

There is very little no help for parents who children are school phobic, or whatever you want to call it.

What else is a parent to do when a child is dragged into school kicking and screaming, only to run home?

ah yes. Lowly.

'I think a 5 year old can get a very clear (mythologised) idea of school that they might well be keen to act on, whatever the preferences of the parents. '

I think that you are very unusual on here ommmward! I knew at 5yrs that I passionately wanted to go to school and once I got there I absolutely loved it (despite being very shy) and I get slayed! The age card gets played and people say that a 5 yr old can't know their own mind and as the adult they know what is best for their DC.

Sometimes a change of school can be the answer for school phobia, Lynette. My brother was one and a change of school made him a different DC-it won't always work of course.

Piecesmoon... a change of school worked for us. I do feel for those it doesn't work for, though.

Or maybe I shouldn't as they are now happily HEing!

My DS is nearly 5 and hasn't said anything about wanting to go to school. He knows we do 'school at home' and sometimes asks to do that (letters etc). If he asks why he doesn't go then I say it's because I like us to do things all together as a family with his sisters too, and he seems happy with that. We walk past schools all the time when we are out, he sees it on telly like ommward said, and he has lots of friends who go to nursery/school - I think he sees it as somewhere that means they can't come out to play so often! I haven't said anything good or bad about it.

Also, we know quite a few HE families so he knows that it is something other people do too. I think he sees us as normal and is v accepting of it atm. Long may that continue!

ommmward wrt books painting "rosy hued image" of school-

I do think an awful lot of little kids see this as a sort of propaganda- I know I wasn't fooled by it at 4. I couldn't think of anything worse than having to leave my family and spend all day with a bunch of [shudder] strangers...

my dds have done school and HE. They see neither as odd and both as a sort of normal and haven't really made their minds up either way. Yet

It all depends on the DC.
I started school after my 5th birthday i.e. the summer term. I hadn't been to nursery or even a play group, there was no easing in gently-you went on the first day and stayed for lunch and the lot! I couldn't wait to go.
Robberbutton's 'stay at home with sisters and do lots of things' would have filled me with horror! I had a 3 yr old brother and a baby brother at the time and we did lots of things as a family at weekends but I would have hated to have been stuck at home with them all day and everyday. My brother would have loved it! We are all different.
I agree with ommmward-that you should ask the DC, but I still think that most parents have their own agenda-I certainly did.

I think another reason I will be home edding as I want to see more of my kids - being apart from them fora large part of the day means I miss them dreadfully and also I worry about the influences on them. Schools seem to teach them a lot of stuff that I see as a parents job ie: PHSE stuff. I realise its different if you work full time but from my point of view i'd rather know where my kids are more and what is happening to them. My experience of schools is you get very little information about how your kid is doing (5 mins parents appointment or quick talk with teacher after school I think is not enough. Does anyone else think along same lines ?

It was the reason I forgot on my list-more control.
You can actually see a teacher whenever you want and you can go in and help and get involved.
I like the fact that my DCs meet all sorts and get all view points-I would worry dreadfully if it was all my influence. I am not that sure that I am right.

ours started school at 4 with everyone else - we weren't aware really that there was an alternative. It was too early for our DS1 (he is a July baby) and he was exhausted by it - but it was a lovely little village school and he was ok.

But after 4.5 years that was it really - he was ok (and so are his younger brothers) but none of them really enjoy it or seem to get much out of it. We pretty much felt we could do better - more one to one attention, more targetting to their interests, their strengths and their weaknesses.

The more we thought about it the more we realised it was a life style change - not being tied to school hours or school terms is something we think we are going to really appreciate. Being able to explore our country and in time further afield when places are quiet (ie term time) and cheaper is a big plus.

But pretty much being able to follow a topic as it develops and morphs into other topics - something you just don't have the time and flexibility to do in school. And not being governed by what you are supposed to be doing at a given age, and not being constrained by irrelevant political monitoring. I am not anti exam (I have 13 O levels, 2 AOs, 3 As, a degree and a PhD - so I have done more than my fair share ). But I think they are totally counterproductive as they are currently done, especially in the primary ages. I am very happy to leave all that behind.

Did anyone find the school system delivered alot of stuff that's just part of every day life ? ie: In reception my son did loads of work on brothers, sisters and babies etc... (family stuff) Makes me wonder whether kids are actually needed in school for the large amount of time they spend there - 9-3pm. I suspect its different at secondary however with GCSE's.

I completely agree sylvia, I couldn't believe it when I had a look at the national curric website and saw all that kind of stuff on the syllabus. How to cross the road, the dangers of the medicine cabinet, how to brush your teeth (probably). Then we get on to 'how to share, how to tell right from wrong' etc etc... What do they think the parents have been doing for the last 5 or so years? What have the parents been doing? I'm not saying that you shouldn't learn about things like this in school as you go along, but to have lessons devoted to it? WTF?

Deep breath...

Very sadly robberbutton many parents don't do any of it!
One of the big shocks is sharing-they are not used to it. Even if the parents has made a superb job, which many have, don't you think that it is interesting for the DC to discuss it and get other experiences and views?
I think that you are referring to PSHE wich is a tiny part of the curriculum.

School is about so much more than the lessons and academic side. Learning to rub along with others, care and share and be a good friend is equally important. I think that you are viewing it all from an adult standpoint as in 'I have explained tooth brushing-what a waste of time' when the DC can enjoy a visit from a dental hygienist, poems about teeth,role play the dentist, number of teeth etc etc.
'Right from wrong' is a very interesting one. The black and white is easy- but there are huge shades of grey, there are things that you wouldn't even think of in the confines of the home that become issues in the wider world. It all leads onto philosophy and 5 yr olds are capable of very abstract thought-especially when they are able to bounce ideas off others.
I think that your view of the curriculum is sadly narrow. They are starting points which lead to so much more.
School isn't a question of needing information at GCSE level to pass exams. It is about learning to think for yourself and exploring subjects from new angles-not dismissing it as a waste of time because 'I have told them that'or 'they know it already'!

I should keep well away from the National Curriculum if you think it is so narrow!
A good teacher could set up a home corner with a dentist reception and waiting room there would be a telephone, appointments book,they would make posters to put on the wall about how to look after your teeth-that is just off the top of my head-not only could it be quite exciting but could do a lot to overcome the fear of the dentist, that some children experience. I remember doing some lovely work where they designed tooth fairies(collages with shiny paper, material etc) and wrote about them and they loved Pam Ayers poem 'I wish I'd looked after my teeth'.

Sorry Pam Ayres

Piscesmoon wrote:

Very sadly robberbutton many parents don't do any of it!

I think that this is propaganda by the government and schools to justify the introduction of a lot of social engineering 'subjects'. For a start, most of the people (teachers, MPs, social workers, doctors, etc.) making the decisions are also parents - do they not discuss drugs, sex, etc. with their children? I've done a straw poll among a whole load of parents (not all EHEing) and not one said that they would not discuss such things with their DC. No-one chooses to raise their child as a criminal, drug abuser, gang member, etc. If they are in an environment that fosters such things, perhaps money should go on solving the reasons, rather than on tinkering around the edges in "education".

Given that sex ed, for example, has been on the curriculum for a looooong time, it obviously does not work if people are still not able to discuss it within their families.

Piscesmoon wrote:

A good teacher could set up a home corner with a dentist reception and waiting room

A good home educator does not need to do that - they'll actually take their DC to the dentist every 6-9 months and talk about the experience! Also, it can come up as often as the DC want to talk about it, not just when the (primary, I presume) teacher has a home corner about it. We can do dentists one day, doctors and hospitals the next, Post Offices after that and back to dentists again, taking into account what is happening in the family.

I think that the schooled DC is also going to the dentist and talking about it! They just have the advantage that they can do the role play with lots of other DCs. I did role play with my brothers-I used to organise them, being the eldest-it wasn't the same!

Education doesn't stop the moment they come out of school and the parent doesn't say -'you can't set up a shop-you will have to wait until the school does it!'

Of course at home-in all the hours you have before bedtime, weekends and holidays you can have a hospital one day, a post office the next etc. Having one at school gives it more depth.

I'm not going to raise drugs etc with a 5 yr old-it needs to be age appropriate.

I agree about the schooled DC - what I con't understand is why (leaving aside how much you enjoyed school) you think that school is such an important part of life for children. It is 30 hours x 40 weeks of the year where they can't do exactly what they need educationally.

How does "school [give] it more depth"? In fact, it can be more shallow.As home educators, if our DC get really hooked on something, we can extend and deepen the foray to any extent. A teacher cannot do that because they are always balancing the needs of 30 children.

Age appropriate also means appropriate to the situation. I ended up discussing drugs and needles with 3 and 5yo DC because they had found (and were playing with) syringes. I even mentioned HIV/AIDS - for the first, but not the last, time. I would not have planned to do that and I would have thought it not age appropriate but the situation changed things. I am in no way suggesting that a schooling parent would have said "Oh, I have to leave it until you are in year X" but I do not understand what school would have brought to the picnic.

lots of interesting points coming up here, from either side. I would add to pisces' list of reasons why people choose as my personal no 8:

thinking that I am already an enormous influence on my dcs, knowing that my take on life is ...shall we say, slightly unusual, and feeling that it would do them good not to spend more time exposed to me than they already do

particularly, as my parents (also slightly odd) were an enormous influence on me, and I did need to break away and learn that theirs was not the only way to look at life

nothing wrong or anti-social about us, just slightly odd- and of course our friends tend to reflect that

at school they meet the offspring of people I don't invite home now that we've passed the toddler group stage because we have nothing in common- but dcs may still want to decide they do have something in common and that other ways of looking at life and prioritising may still be perfectly valid

am not talking about the old chestnut of HE'd children not socialising; I know they do

just that if dcs socialising were left to me, they would be likely to socialise with other people with a pronounced interest in education- and they already get plenty of that

Cory wrote:
"just that if dcs socialising were left to me, they would be likely to socialise with other people with a pronounced interest in education- and they already get plenty of that"

You seem to be implying that this would not be the case in a school environment - which is an interesting comment on the (lack of?) 'pronounced interest in education' of some teachers and educational professionals!

I personally think that my children are actually far more likely to encounter a wider range of people, personalities, viewpoints through EHE than being in a peer-age group at school, where, as others have commented, the peer pressure to conform, to have the same trainers and DSs and ipods with the same music on, is absolutely immense.