HE - Where do you start and some other questions

[mama2moo]

So, I am considering HE my 2 dd's. Dd1 is 2yo and dd2 is only 3mo but the thought of sending them to school fills me with dread.

As I have a lot of time to choose what to do I would love to get some info from people who do it.

Questions -

Do you enjoy it?
Is it expensive?
How do you make sure your child still mixes with other children?
How did you convince your dh/dp if they werent too sure?

Any tips etc?

I think for me my reason is quite selfish. I dont want my girls going to a school and being bullied or mixing with the wrong crowd (schools in our area are quite rough). Also, I love being with them and would miss and worry about to the point that I am already in a state about it. But also, I love the idea of them having one on one teaching and that I will play a massive part in their learning.

Thanks.

StarlightMcKenzie: If both you and your DH found school quite damaging, why will you be sending your DC to school?

For the first 11 years after DC, four of us lived on one median income (mine). While EHEing, I childminded a couple of days a week and worked part-time from home for an IT company. Since 2003, I have been a freelance copy-editor (working from home, fitting it around EHE activities) but I've only needed to split the income three ways.

With at least one parent at home full-time, you can save money on many things.

star I, too, found school very damaging in lots of ways. I wonder at myself for ever sending ds1 who is a very shy, quiet boy who had significant developmental delay as a baby. I bowed to pressure from my dh and both parents (even some friends too) and sent him. I deeply regret it. You say you would "take him out" if there were a problem? IME if you have to take him out then by then the damage will have been done

The school ds1 attended is one of the "best" in my county as regards ofsted and there is a waiting list to get in there. Means nothing. Well, tell a lie, it means they get very good SATS results. I dont give a toss about SATS results.

We live on 1 income. My dh is in engineering so not exactly brilliantly paid! We do not go on foreign hols and we dont go out much (too tired tbh!!) Any spare money is spent on weekends away with the dc or on trips out. We have been to York this year and are planning to go to Bath and Bristol too at some point. I would like to work PT again at some point in the future but at the moment with ds1 and ds2 it would be impossible.

mama I forgot to mention that ds1 plays with his cousins, best friend from school, goes to karate, beavers and has swimming lessons too. He wants to try judo and horse riding next!!!!

Also, I really question the whole ethos of children only spending social time with children born within 8-12 months of each other!!! Why is that deemed best????? I regularly helped out at my sons old school and all it fostered was competitiveness (who has got a nintendo ds and who hasnt!), one up manship (who is tallest and therefore best) and nastiness (especially from the girls I have to say). I never thought I would see such bitchiness from such young children. I was horrified. There is also the bullying problem. Ds1 was bullied by the saem boy for 3 years I dont want my ds1 comparing himself to anyone, let alone some of those children!!

Oh!!!! I cant tell you the freedom of not being tied to school holidays!!!!! Not having to get "permission" to take my child on holiday!!!!

We are going to North Yorks and Longleat on our summer hols this year out of school hol time and it has saved us a fortune!!!!

Also, you can aviod the shops at half terms etc because you and dc can go anytime! Its great!

Small things, but they make a difference!

I know what you mean by freedom. I can go away for a break to my son and daughter-in-law for a week at a time. I hate where we live, so being able to get away means we don't feel so stressed.
Grandson gets more outings now I have my Bus Pass!
And, about mixing with other kids - I have 13 grandchildren including the one I have custody of. He will play with any child, regardless of their age. He associates with adults of all ages, and is particularly well liked by the elderly who make a fuss of him.
Wish I'd known about HE when my kids were of school age - they would never have set foot in a school. They hated it, but more so in secondary. The damage is still there even now they are adults.

Its great isnt it???

Yes

Sorry to hear about your ds experience at pre school...he is very lucky to have a mummy that will be proactive if he is unhappy.

@ Mama wrt our social life.

This week we are:

Sunday - tea party at my parents' house - lots and lots of playing with similar aged cousins

Monday - picnic with friends

Tuesday - DH's day off so may not see friends, but will go swimming or something. DD1 staying the night at friend's house

Wednesday - usually French club but it's not on this week as it's half term. Will pick DD1 up and go with those friends to a home ed group with lots of other friends. After home ed group, we're going to another HE friend's house for dinner.

Thursday - going to my mum's as it's her birthday

Friday - DD1 going with four friends to the cinema for her birthday treat and then they would normally have badgers in the evening (where they are making lots of friends) but it's half term so again not on.

Saturday - DD1 and DD2 have their dance lessons, where they seem to be making friends there too.

Do you think that is enough socialising for your families?

We home ed here and our social life this week is:
today, meet other home ed family at local gardens and spend day together

Tuesday: morning, meet friends who attend school, at local gallery for half term activities
afternoon, home ed friends coming for play and stay to tea

Wed: morning, I work, ds has a nanny for 3 hours (I count this as a social activity as getting to know another adult is important part of socialisation)
afternoon, meet with large group of friends at local cafe for afternoon to play in the cafe garden

Thurs: home ed meeting in park

Fri: go on 4 mile walk and then picnic with other home ed families

this is a busy week for us but by no means unusual
ds also in term time attends trampolining class once a week with schooled children, drama class once a month, science class about once a week, and many other home ed activities
he has schooled friends to play after school and at weekends
and plays virtually every day with the neighbourhood children on the grass outside our house

the only problem we have with socialisation is limiting it so we can get other stuff done!