Bigger than a wobble I'd say, thinking about stopping HE.

[nottoosureanymore]

Have namechanged.

We have been estranged from the wider HE community for a while now. It's a strange place!

We have a few close HE friends, but as they play outside and go to after school groups like Brownie's/Beavers etc they have more schooled friends.

Recent developments (lies, allegations of abuse, people taking sides) within our local groups have made me want to step back even further and have nothing to do with the local HE'ers. It has become so draining to hear about what goes on in the groups that we don't meet up with our close HE friends much anymore, to the point where my children aren't bothered at all to see those other children.
We'd be going along for my benefit, which, as I've explained isn't something I need/want either.

Now I'm at the point where I think "actually, would they not be better off in school with a supplemented education from us at home"?

Perhaps it's a crisis of confidence, I don't know, is it possible to HE and have nothing to do with other HE'ers or should we look seriously at sending them back to school where they have more friends?

The children themselves are happy to be HE, but also happy to go to school....damned happy, contented kids!

you can do home ed without being part of home ed groups surely ? If they don't work for you then don't go. If you and the kids are happy enough that they have friends then that is fine.

How old are the kids ? Are they old enough to talk through the pros and cons of school versus home ed ? And the pros and cons of dropping out of the home ed groups and jsut doing your own thing ?

They are of upper-primary age Throckenholt.

Think we will discuss it over dinner tonight, see what everyone thinks.

We had dropped out of anything vaguely last year and were better for it. Does anyone else do this?

Have to scoot, I've been rumbled!

we have only just started home edding - and have as yet not joined any local groups. To be honest we haven't had the time yet - but so far we are not feeling we are missing out on anything.

Give it a go and see what happens.

Are you me?

We have had the same kind of crap at our home ed groups, I cannot stand the majority of them. The only HE things ds does now are more structured HE classes, such as a music class and a couple of sports ones where I am not just standing around in a village hall listening to gossip. We have pretty much stopped going to HE meet up type things due to the goings on you described. I won't get into playground politics or petty squables, so I have found it easier to have limited contact.

I did however meet a few really, really lovely families atthe groups when I did go, but they were few and far between. ds has ten or so of other HE kids who he counts as good friends. Funnily enough, they have begun to pull away from the HE scene to, and ds sees quite a lot of them at after school activiies as well as seeing them outside of the groups.

Ds does so many other activites every evening where
he has made so e fantastic friends. Luckily, he is into a specific pass time (perfoming arts) and we have found
an amazing evening/wekend theatre school where he
goes four nights a week and sees he same kids at his
different classes, so it's fantastic.

You can pull away from HE groups and have your dc have a fantastic social life through meeting schooled kids at clubs and activities, it does work.

We went to our local one which is just 10 minutes away, but for personal reasons we now can't go there. Can't go into it here, though.
We're hoping to join the Milton Keynes one - it's further away so it would be a day out sort of thing, but not every week. I've heard good things about it and it's out of the town where we live so that would suit us better.

We didn't go to any home ed groups for quite a long time and DS1 did consider secondary school as he wanted more friends. However, since then we have joined a home ed book club and meet up for French/Spanish music as well, so he decided he would rather still HE. I don't see why you need to go to home ed groups if none of you want to. Maybe pull out of them for now and see how it goes. If your DCs start missing the socialising, you could always organise something with maybe just a couple of friends.

I don't why there would be any need for you to go to home ed groups? I know there are lots of home educators locally but I've never met lots because they never go to groups. Why do you feel you need to do groups?

do more of the brownie/Beaver type after school activities, see more of the children your dc get on with there, invite them round.

Can't see why you have to be actively involved in a HE community just because you are HE.

Start your own group? I think you'll be fine, I don't know many HE familes who do go to groups, they kind of arrange things on an ad hoc basis, and all the mums meet up once in a while for an evening, which is fab. Groups are def not going to be essential in our world.

We have HEed for 6 years now and have never even met anyone else who does so. There aren't any local groups and our council has less than a dozen kids registered as HE, 4 of them are mine so that gives you an indication.

I sometimes feel that it's a bad situation because I read of all these people having art/music/sport/whatever groups and think that it might be nice for the children but the kids are happy enough and around here it's never going to happen, so they just have schooled friends whom they see outside school hours.

If they are happy to go to school why not try it? They can then have plenty of company and you can get involved or not as you wish.
If you still want to do it I would just let them join after school/holiday activities.