Am I asking for trouble inviting social services into our home?

[pinkdolly]

I am feeling a bit nervous about it all really. I will try and be as brief as I can.

I have 4 children, dd1 - almost 8. dd2 6, dd3 3 and ds 1.

My children are autonomously educated for the most part. Dd1 has speech and language difficulties which have led her reading to be delayed but she is getting there. (this is not a major issue, she used to stammer a lot and has trouble forming words which sound out at the front of her mouth).

Anyway- My cousins are in care (have posted about them on the fostering pages). There is no one else who is willing or able to look after them. Care proceedings are about to start to get them a care order.

They are the same ages as my youngest 2.

After a lot of thought dh and I have decided to put ourselves forward to see if there is a chance we could have them. We do have support from family members so we wouldn't be going it alone.

Of course there are lots of scary thoughts about doing this- it is a big thing. But we are due to be assessed soon and I am now worrying what they will think of my home-edding and the way I do it.

Does anyone have any pearls of wisdom?

We are currently under the radar as home schoolers and would have liked to stay there as long as possible really. But I cant sit back and let my cousins be lost into the care system if there is the remote chance that they will let me have them.

Pink

Oh blimey! What a difficult decision! I don't think I can help in the slightest! I mean, I couldn't see children I love and care about be put into care...but I would be really nervous of ignorant social workers. I think I would go ahead with it, but have loads of literature to hand them if they question it, or anything. And I would ask respectfully that they read everything I've given them before making a judgement, and that they would afford you the same respect by discussing any concerns with you open-mindedly before taking any action/making any decisions.

Is your concern that social services will not want you to home educate the cousins? Because I can't see that being assessed should be a problem for your status quo - it shouldn't affect you and your current family iyswim (Disclaimer - am not professional in this area just being reasonable). If I were you I wouldn't worry about me and my children, more whether it would affect the asessment of my ability to look after the cousins. Does that make sense? Not sure it is helpful at all!

My worry is that, as Mrs wobble put it the social services can be really ignorant in regards to home education. It can be frowned upon. I am worried that not only will it affect our application for the children but also might affect our own children if we get an unsympathetic social worker.

My dh's working hours are very very family friendly and is home a lot during what I would call our schooling hours, so I dont see that as a problem.

I can understand your concerns. Is there no one else in the family who could care for the cousins officially but with your support and offers to have them during the daytime a lot?

As you know, children have to be educated and as long as you can show that you are doing that I don't see that any reasonable person could object to your method. Schools use lots of different methods too.

Clearly you have an unusual set up - but a close family unit with two adults around a lot of the time sounds like a perfect set up for these poor dcs and I reckon the social workers will be pretty keen on that.

The problem is, NL, that some social workers/EWOs/other officials are really ignorant of autonomous learning and see it as laissez-faire, neglectful parenting that means the chidlren will play video games all day and learn nothing...as 'proven' (to an ignoramus) by the OP's DD not reading yet (although that is totally normal for children in schooling countries world-wide to not learn to read until that age, in our country it's not normal so is frowned upon).

If she gets an open-minded, well-informed SW visit her, she'll be fine. If she gets someone like Graham Badman, she risks being in trouble and given unfavourable labels.

No Mrs Wobble there is no one . But I feel that with dh being at home a lot during those hours that it shouldn't really be an issue, but I do have concerns that social services will make it an issue.

We do have fmaily members who can offer us support but just could not have the girls with them full-time for various reasons.

One of these is their half-sister. Who works nights and shift but would love to have them whenever she can if they came to live with us. She is 27.

And I have chosen the route whereas I prefer not force reading upon my children as I would rather foster a love of reading and facilitate their reading when they are ready to do so. Dd1 is coming on leaps and bounds just not at the smae level as her peers.

NL - this could be seen by some as me failing to provide my children with an adequate education. Even though it is proven that a lot of home-schooled children dont read until later on but read aswell or better then schooled children when they get going.

Can you delay your H.E assesment,continue with your applications to care for your cousins and keep schtum??

Pinkdolly....just yesterday I was at ds2s secondary school and the teacher was praising his academic abilities.....just 5 years ago we withdrew ds2 from primary as he had health issues but also he could barely read and school had him on SEN.....2 almost 3 years later of home ed and he went to secondary school and was top-middle sets-and has stayed there despite a long term illness meaning he misses lots of school.

Sorry nick- I'm not being assessed for H E and have never as yet as we are not known to our local LA. Although of course all that could change now. No I have been told tahe a social worker will be contacting us shortly to arange a viability assesment to care for our cousins.

But as part of this they would probably want to speak to the school so keeping quiet about home schooling is not really an option.

I think you need to keep these things completely separate, and make sure that the LA keep them separate too.

Are you a suitable family to be foster carers for these cousins? That's what the social workers are needing to assess. I would get upfront from them before you discuss anything else what exactly is on their list of things to find out before they can say "yes, this is a runner".

The children are not yet of school age, so their educational provision is totally irrelevant. As in, no-one is expecting them to be educated yet...

If the SWs would usually ask the school questions about you as a family, then I would be ready and armed with a little list of other people, non-relatives, who would be prepared to vouch for you. Being people in positions of responsibility will really help - a vicar? any group leaders if your children do any organised activities? just the leader of your local HE group?

I would not mention to the SW anything about your educational style - it's not relevant. And I would not mention to the SW that you are currently under the radar. I would perhaps preempt them thinking "ah, I could go to the LA EHE team for the box ticking the school usually do" by saying "of course, you need someone who knows the children well, the equivalent of school. As home educators, of course, there's no local authority-employed equivalent of that, but here is the phone number of our local HE group organiser, who knows us well" Or whatever.

HTH.

Im a knob

Sorry.

I would just meet with the social worker and answer questions as they came up - it may well be that your sw will be very open minded and certainly a home that promotes education within it can only be a plus.