Would it be odd to...

[CardyMow]

HE one or two children out of 3? My DS1 (7yo/Y3) is doing ok in school, his dad refuses to let me HE (we are separated), via court orders it will not be an option, and he's doing OK in school. (just ok, long story,blah blah). DD I have been seriously considering HE for quite some time due to her SN, have an appointment at the school soon (has been delayed due to school closure through snow), but am unsure as yet for other reasons. However, DS2(6yo, Y1) would really really benefit from HE, he has SEN but not MLD, school can't give enough help, but he doesn't qualify for a statement blah blah blah. His dad is unsure due to the social side of things, wants to learn more, where should I direct him to? DD is a bit more tenuous as I tend to get (unfairly) annoyed with her when she refuses to concentrate, we are very similar, and it's the lack of effort at home that irritates me, whereas she tries to put in the effort at school, but doesn't get enough help, so I don't think she would actually learn from me. The social side of things may be a bit harder for me to keep up with as I'm reliant on public transport due to having epilepsy, and am not working either, so very short of funds, so that is DS2's dad's main problem with it, as he doesn't feel that I would have enough money to be able to take him to outside school clubs (I don't ATM) or money to get to HE meet-ups. Any Ideas/help/advice?

(OH should add that DD is 11.10yo, in Y7 but currently working on Lvl 1 in maths and high Lvl 1/ low Lvl 2 in English, and secondary school have already dropped French after one term as it is too much for her to cope with)

well if you cannot take ds1 out of school because his father objects and it is going ok if not as well as you would like, resolve in some way to "after-school" him as I believe it is called by doing some additional learning activity not covered by school to fire his general learning enthusiam. This he can do with the other 2 in order not to feel left out if possible.

Could be anyting that you feel capable of doing and he shows interest in. Doesn't have to be a regular school subject.

With the other two, research a bit and provide their father with a list of activities you can afford/will be able to get to. I don't know what there might be on offer near you but ask around and see what you find out. If the dads have to agree, could you settke ib trying it for a year and then assessing how it is going, discussing whether to continue?

DD's dad isn't in the picture, so with her, it's just my decision, but I do worry about being able to offer her social groups, as I can't afford to pay for after school clubs for any of them. And about the likelyhood of her actually listening to me...DS1's dad will NOT agree, and there's nothing I can do about that. DS2's dad is slowly coming around to the idea (ish), but feels that DS2 would become isolated as I don't have the money for clubs/ transport. He isn't willing to let me 'try it for a year', he wants to know how I would get around the social side of it first IYSWIM.

In some ways it's hard to be able to prove the social side before you start as it's something which tends to build up as you go. My DD2 had no social life for the first 4 months or so, partly by choice, but also it takes you a while to get into HE. We have a great facebook group for our county - if there isn't one for your area you could easily start one. Anyone who joins can post events on there for other home educators to attend - it's that easy. I've got to know lots of people through it. But the point is that you could post up if you were going ofr a walk near where you live, playdates or craft afternoons at your house, and then you wouldn't have to travel, people could come to you. So, good social life, no expense.

I took my youngest out of school first with no initial intention of taking out my eldest. It tied us a bit, but it was perfectly do-able. In fact, it was fantastic for our relationship. DD2 had never really had much one to one time with me, especially as big sis is more active and demanding, and so it was a wonderful year which I will always look back on really fondly. After a year DD1 wanted to be home ed aswell. I love having them both at home and I wouldn't go back, don't get me wrong, but there was something rather lovely about having all that time alone with just DD2. So yes, it's do-able. I used to make a big thing of it being DD1's time when she got back from school as DD2 had me all day - and both girls seemed to accept this as a fair solution.

Other people do it differently, but I think it would be perfectly feasible to try with one first and see how it goes.

Lots of families home educate one or more children, whilst others remain in school.
It is not uncommon.

There is a thread here about how to find local home educators-I'll go bump that and the others I started that should be useful for people new to home ed. (and for your child's father to find out more)

I know lots of home ed families who are single parent-many of whom are on a very limited budget and who also rely on public transport.
It is do able, but I suspect it depends on where you are in the country and what the transport is like.
In Worcs we try and make sure that all meetings are accessable by public transport.

We also organise activities at a much cheaper price than the general public rate-as they are often organised as educational groups and we get educational rates. For instance, I would never have been able to afford ice skating for our children at the normal rates but we got it at any amazing price as an educational group.
Many of our groups just involve covering the cost of the hire of the hall between the families-and sometimes we have meetings in the parks or in someone's house-at no additional costs other than getting there.
TBH most home educators I know do this on a shoestring budget.
Do contact home educators local to you-you might be very pleasantly suprised.

And as for getting your child to learn from you and concentrate-have a look at autonomous learning, where the child follows her own interests rather than sitting and being taught.
Alan Thomas' 'How Children Learn at home' is good at explaining this- it is listed in the Books on home ed thread, which I'll bump for you.