Hi there, I'm fairly regular on here. My daughters are both HE, the youngest for nearly 2 and a half years now.
DD2 does quite a lot of stage work. She's good at acting and dancing and gets accepted at auditions quite a lot. Last year she did panto and had lots of fun doing it, so this year she auditioned again. She was lucky to be one of the ones chosen out of a huge number of children.
Last year the lady who ran it was lovely. She praised DD2 a lot and gave her some extra acting parts as she told us she was so impressed with her. This year has been trouble from the off.
Firstly, you have to have a performance licence, and for this you need permission to be absent from school. We've had loads of these in the past and we just send a standard letter saying she's home educated, we set our own hours and dates and therefore she doesn't need it. The council have always been more than happy with this.
The woman running it was immediately funny with us over this. She emailed asking why she was home educated - was it medical or behavioural - because she would have to consider whether she was suitable to work for them. I replied that it was neither, it was personal choice and that DD2 had done lots of stage work, including pantomime for her company last year, and never had a problem.
Since rehearsals have begun, however, there's been nothing but trouble. She seems to pick on DD2 for everything and DD2 has come home and cried before now. She told DH today that she had thought there would be problems with DD2 from the off as she obviously never socialised (!) and thought DD2 acted weirdly with other children. DH was inwardly spitting at the ignorance but calmly asked her to elaborate. She said DD2 had been rubbing another child's arms so she had made her sit apart from the others for the duration of the rehearsal. DD2 rather tearfully told me the other little girl had said she was cold (it was just one of those things kids do) but this woman had come over and screamed at her and sat her apart. DD2 is rather articulate in stating her case - a product of the home ed which I think is generally good - and this angered her even further!
DD2 uses a shortened version of her name as she hates the long version. I have put her down as the shortened version on all the forms, but of course, the birth certificate for the performance licence has the long version on. I clearly stated "known as short version" on everything. This is something we do everywhere from doctors to the LA and everyone has it noted and is happy with it. (I've even talked about deed poll with a solicitor friend of mine who reassures me that "known as" is perfectly valid). But this woman refuses to call her the shortened version of her name. DD2 has asked a few times, very politely, but this has only angered her more and she has said she will be called what she's told.
The thing is, I don't really know what to do. I sent a polite email asking if she would please call DD2 short version and saying we would be surprised and concerned if she found cause for complaint with DD2, and upset that she should think the home ed is an issue, but I haven't had a reply yet.
If it continues, what would you do?
Tell DD2 to stick it out and let it wash over her (I've done this so far but it appears to be escalating)?
Complain to the production company who employ her - who quite frankly I don't think will give a toss on the grounds that there will be 300 other children immediately willing to take her place?
Pull her out of the panto?
I don't like feeling that she is being picked on because of the home ed, but that's certainly how it seems - and I don't think I'm being over sensitive. DD2 has attended so many things like this in the past and it's the very first time we've ever run into problems.