oooooooh this hurts... I'm really thinking of home ed for DS, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE give me advice

[hereidrawtheline]

DS is 3 and has been going to preschool 2 mornings a week since Feb (2.6 at the time) He used to love it but no longer. He has some SN but not sure what really - he is certainly very hyperactive, extremely bright, mad, creative, restless, obsessive, has some ASD traits, and a lot of emotional insecurities. He is an odd child, for example he identifies food by what part of the body they strengthen i.e. scallions are good for your immune system which has soldiers who fight viruses, spinach gives him superhero muscles and so on.

Anyway his behaviour several months back was actually pretty atrocious and me and DH were at our wits end. Summer break and things gradually got better and we were thinking this is so weird how his behaviour is like a cycle rather than a constant. Well he has been back at preschool 2 weeks and you guessed it he has been the 3 year old if not from hell certainly from a very dark and bitter place. He has said every day but the first day back at school that he does not want to go. Today I overheard him telling one of his "friends" he doesnt want to go. He started growling at me and hitting me. To be clear I have never ever left him there crying. When he gets in the door he settles and is in the main ok just grunts at me if he is really cross.

I said to him, look if you stay here today we can talk about whether or not you will come back on Thursday. And I spoke to his teacher, who is lovely. She said she can show me pics she takes of him throughout the session where he is laughing and smiling and playing and he seems happy while there but that she understands where I am coming from.

The thing is it only just clicked with me that his really bad behaviour has exactly coincided with his return to school and ended pretty much with the summer break. And I realised how much he developed over the summer weeks. So I'm thinking of home edding.

My concerns:

I live in a small village and dont drive: will we get out, will he see enough other children?

Will I ever get any time away from him? He doesnt self entertain at all so this is a concern as I was rather looking forward to several hours a day on my own.

He is so hyperactive, what if I cant get him to sit down to learn lessons?

And anything else I havent thought of! Thank you!

Hi.Have you thought about getting help for the SN issues that you think your son may have? You mention you have poor co-ordination, could you son have dyspraxia or aspergers?If you get help in the school this may make all the difference to your son. We had some problems ( nothing like as severe) for my son who has dyspraxia. Just having some motor skills classes and an understanding teacher made all the difference. If you don't want to home ed then I would work on making school better for your son, but if you do want to home ed then as others have said, at age 3 you are not committing to anything long term.

Hi I removed my ds from nursery at 3 as he was having probs even with nursery teacher saying he was backwards.It turned out he just didn't like the enviroment(issue with noise and naughty children) and couldn't settle. We took him out with a view to finding another nursery or school when time.My son is now 15 and has been HE ever since. He was shy when younger and we too live quite isolated from other HE'ers but his social skills are above those of his school going peers and he is very happy.We found that HE just happened to us really and was so natural that we didn't even bother looking for a school in the end.We read up on the internet about HE and went with the flow.My son showed classic signs,though we didn't realise until he was about 5/6 yrs,of Aspergers and had he stayed in school would have had a prob adjusting to social interactions as my brother has had.Due to HE he has been able to find friends in his own time and not been forced into it as he would have at school.
My dd has always been HE because of this experience.Read as much as you can on the subject and try to get your dh too also.
At the age of 3 the learning should be done through play and following his interests.It's amazing how quickly one interest can lead to others and can encompass several 'lessons'.
Most of all try to relax and enjoy having him around and watching him develop I can honestly say it's an amazing experience

If you get a leaflet from the student support centre through the school, do not sign up for it. It costs £2000 over 48 months, and you cant get out of the contract. My child is board of the work, its not value for money and this company dont give you support in any circumstances. They are just a hard sell company. They learn so much just going to school. If when older they need help get a tutor.

hereidrawtheline - I think you made the right decision, tis a pity dh wasnt there when the decision was taken but I bet he'll come round when he sees your ds happier

In a few weeks, months years time he will be older and more confident and much more likely to say "hey in some ways I liked school I want to try again" - if you force him to go now he will inevitably hate it even more than he does now

Mine are so far loving their new HE life and not missing school at all

Great move Hereidrawtheline.