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Newby on HE and need advice and guidance please!

5 replies

kutilputil · 18/05/2009 01:31

before i begin i do not wish to insult anyone or raise a debate on this issue, i am just very curious and want the best for MY child.
i have thought about HE a few times, but never seriously. I have put my ds1's name down for all the local state schools and would also like to find a good independant or grammar school eventually, but because i will not be able to afford it i will have to look for some kind of sponsorship.
but just recently i met with a group of very happy, bubbly and enthusiastic mothers on their weekly get together and got chatting about HE as they were all HE pros. they gave me all the relevant web details and i left feeling like i too could do this. the work they showed me that their kids did were amazing!
i am not saying that HE is the best way forward but i am so unsure about state schools as i speak from own experience as a TA. I have worked in various schools, with all ages and i found not many staff were passionate about kids, you could see the passion in some of them and they were the ones kids stuck to, but most were doing a job, earning a living, they might as well clean toilets without any disturbance as they preferred their own empty silent company much more than a loud and demanding child. i am also seeing the maturity of teachers/TA's etc go downhill and most of them seem to stoop to the kids level (and not eye sight as they should!). these so called people who are responsible for our kids learning and wellbeing for a long period of the day lack relevant education, are immature and arrogant and seem to take a kids behaiviour personally and above all seem to bully kids into doing things they just would ask their own kids to do. for example i know someone who recently foud it funny to tell a reception kid that they will put chilli on her fingers if she didn't stop thumb sucking and when a little boy wasn't listening to instructions he was told to run three times round a small circuit and she made sure he did even though he was very upset and she then laughed and added that "he also missed golden time" this was a reception kid. she herself has a kid of the same age and when i asked her would she do the same to her son she was clear enough to say NO WAY! so why this child? when i worked in school i treated the kids as though they were my plants and i was in charge of caring for them, nourishing them and keeping them happy, but always maintaining them and propping them up with sticks if they were falling down, i was tough but kind, just as i am with my boys, but these so called staff are not like this and i fear my ds1 will suffer at their hands as he is a differnt sort of kid and can easily be coaxed into things or on the flip side will throw a major tantrum if he isn't happy...but he knows his right from wrong and i feel he will just be misunderstood, judge too quick and labelled and shoved to the side.....have i said too much, sorry but i am letting off a little steam fro bad parenting and bad teaching skills...i hate selfish loud and ignorant people who only look out for their own and laugh at others and much of the staff in state schools these days are like this. sorry to mention state school so much but thats all the experience i have, i dont know anything else. so now i am not too hung up on ds1 going to nursery, i prefer to keep him with me and teach him well and make him storng enough to face people like the lady mentioned above...i too went to school when i was 6 and it did me no harm.
i just want to know from those of you who are doing HE whats good, whats not, how to start and is it worth it?
any advice is much appreciated. i will check up tommorow to see what you have to say.
thankyou

OP posts:
2kidzandi · 18/05/2009 11:34

Hello Kutilputil, welcome!

(My personal opinion only, speaking as a mum who did some T.A. albeit briefly, as well as voluntary work in schools and 2 DS's who attended nursery and school both.)

I think as your DS is at the pre-nursery stage it would be a great time to try HE. At this age learning is done largely through play, and it would also flow naturally as you will simply carry on with many of the activities you already do together.

I can relate to some of your observations and experiences whilst working in schools and agree that children need to have a strong sense of their own self awareness and personal identity, as well as knowing that they do have a right to expect respect from adults regardless of what authority they have.

It takes time for children to develop this kind of confidence and sometimes frankly, 4,5, and even 6 and 7 is too early for many children to cope with some of the scenarios you've mentioned. I say follow your instinct. If you can HE for a while, it will give him time to develop the skills he needs in order to be better prepared for the challenges of school, (if you decide to send him later) He'll also likely flourish from the one to one attention you'll be able to give him and you'll both enjoy the freedom of going where you want when. It's a great time of year to start too. I'm envious. I wish I had started HE with mine at that age!

flamingobingo · 18/05/2009 11:34

"i am not saying that HE is the best way forward"

I think it is I wouldn't do it if I didn't! I think there's a lot wrong with the school system, and only a very little bit right. And, IMO, the right things are not enough to make me want to send my children into that environment.

"whats good"

Seeing your children thriving, enjoying learning, making friends, knowing they're not being wrecked by the school system (I'm going to get flamed for this but it's what I believe).

Helping them follow up on something they discover an interest in - like my DD2 (4) has really, really enjoyed watching Victorian Farm. She's been playing cheese making, so we took her to our local museum which has loads of old cheese making stuff. And I've arranged for her to visit a cheese making place where they do it traditionally using Victorian things.

Not having to get up in the morning and stress about getting them to school in time.

Not having to do homework

Letting them do things when they want for as long as they want.

not being bullied (well, HE'd kids can be bullied, but hte point is they can leave the situation if they're unhappy)

Going at their pace

I could go on.......

, "whats not,"

Little chance for a break. that's it for me!

"how to start"

Read some books - I'll bump the posts about books and other things for you.

" and is it worth it?"

Abso-blimmin'-lutely!

flamingobingo · 18/05/2009 11:36

Also, as well as reading books, go along to a few HE meets and meet some other HE families with children your DS's age, so he can make some friends, and you can get some support.

nickschick · 18/05/2009 11:47

I have 3 dc all of them have been home edded at some point

ds1 is 15 and leaves school this time hopefully with 13 GCSES and he will study 4 A levels at college

ds2 is 13 he has a very debilitating condition which means he is often absent from school but he is doing very well in middle/top sets

ds3 is 8 and has never been to school.

All our children are happy and thriving.

Ds3 used to be very shy,he didnt like noise and liked to play alone.

At school he would have been the type of child to sit by himself,be alone in the yard and never be 'noticed' we decided due to the health of his brother to keep him at home.

Hes now 8 hes full of life,he has tons of friends,hes academically advanced,hes funny- most of all hes a well rounded kid one of his best friends is a 12 year old who has adhd and autistic tendencies - ds3 is so understanding with this boy that a definite difference has been made to this boys life quality - his mum thanked ds3 and he replied dont thank me for being a friend .

He is welcome in anyones house hes polite and no effort and ive never had a word of complaint about him-he really is a good lad.

In the area we live that sort of child doesnt thrive.

nickschick · 18/05/2009 11:49

And with response to the bullying if ds3 doesnt like anything if play gets nasty he just comes back inside or in the case of his friend being bullied he comes and gets his big brothers to sort it out .

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