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Educational Welfare Officer on my doorstep FFS!

42 replies

PrimroseHall · 04/03/2009 15:37

I am fucking furious

She didn't even use the entry system downstairs to announce herself, just came right up to my front door and knocked on the glass.

She introduced herself by name, which I recognised from the meeting with the Head on Friday. I said that I hadn't received her letter notifying me that she would be coming and she said that she was just here to deliver a pack. I said thank you and held out my hand to take it and she took a step towards my door as if to come in. I told her that I wasn't in the habit of letting strangers into my home without prior arrangement (thank you for that advice Kaytee ) and she stood there awkwardly before telling me that she would discuss it right here on the doorstep if she had to

She then went into lots of detail about what I HAD to do to satisfy the LA that I was providing a full time education for my son. Apparantly I'll be having 'Tom' visit me every 6 weeks to 6 months to check that I am providing an education that is deemed appropriate by education laws, including a full curriculum and some kind of regular group activity for DS with other children of his age.

When she had finished I told her that like any sensible person, I had made myself fully aware of my legal duties as a HE parent and that I didn't have to do any of the things she had told me. I suggested to her that I could fulfil my legal duty to provide information on DS's education in many ways, not limited to letting 'Tom' have access to my child. I told her that this included writing a report, meeting without my child in a public place, meeting without my child at my home or meeting with my child in my home or a public place.

She interrupted me to tell me that Tom didn't work for the LA (so what?) and that he would only want to visit to check that we were providing a full curriculum. She gave the example that DS might be doing everything except reading and so in that case Tom would ask DS how many books he'd read in the period of time since his last visit and details about them to make sure he wasn't fibbing . I sarcastically suggested that Tom would be better off visiting DS's old primary school and checking on the students there because for some odd reason my son had managed to get to the middle of year 2 without being able to read. I also reminded her that the education I provide has to be suitable to my child's age, ability and aptitude and it is not the duty of the LA to assess him.

There was loads more but I can't remember it all. At the end of her visit I asked her why she had sprung her visit on us rather than requesting a visit by telephone or letter. She just gave me excuses about her schedule not allowing definite appts. at first but slipped up after that, when I told her that it was a rather antagonistic way of approaching a first meeting with a parent that they should want to establish a good relationship with. She said (in confidential tones) that some parents just don't want their children to be known to the LA (how extraordinary!) and some mums find it easier to have their children off school and don't provide any education at all so they can do domestic tasks or work. I told her that I thought it was just as feasible for a parent to send their child to school and still expect them to do unreasonable domestic tasks or work, and that I thought it was quite an odd assumption to make of all people that choose to HE as the vast majority do so because they are passionate about education.

Well that's my rant out of the way. I'm considering writing a letter to this woman's boss complaining. Well not complaining really, more pointing out that I was offended that I was being treated as if I was under suspicion for taking my child out of school. The really stupid thing is that I was far more prepared to accept home visits before todays event. Now I don't want anything more than absolutely necessary to do with the LA as I see todays visit as underhanded and bullyish.

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Yurtgirl · 05/03/2009 13:57

Primrose - what a pity the 'pack' isnt useful - it so easily could be!

I think that questionaire sounds awful - I hope JNS can help you so maybe you do need to bother, well at least not in the detail they are expecting

I will be thinking of you and your ds

PrimroseHall · 05/03/2009 18:26

Feel much better today after sleeping on this and working through it on here yesterday.

Thanks for all the advice and support

Julie, I can't open your link. Can I CAT you?

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Podrick · 05/03/2009 18:34

PrimroseHall you are awesome - what a heroic stance and you made loads of brilliant points.

Primary schools indeed fail to teach huge rafts of kids to read which is criminal. Your child clearly has a brave, intelligent and articulate teacher. He is lucky.

SnowlightMcKenzie · 05/03/2009 18:38

I think you could answer 'spontaneous' to every single one of those questions, but I'm new to the idea of HE so have a lot to learn

MrsWeasley · 05/03/2009 18:48

The bit about checking how many books your DS has read made me LOL and . My ds is in year 3 and in a "good" school yet he has only changed his reading book once since January His teacher is aware as I have mentioned it but he still hasnt changed it. He has only read to the teacher once since september and she hasnt got her group reading sorted yet.

(disclaimer: I have books at home that DS reads to me!)

Kayteee · 05/03/2009 19:17

Another good reply that I (and many others) have used when faced with these bloody forms is write "N/A" in answer to ALL questions.
Enclosing a short letter pointing out that the NC was designed to cater for large amounts of children, all being taught the same subject at the same time. As a Home Educator, with only X amount of children, the NC is "not applicable".

Also, ask them to quote, in writing, the section of the Education Act where it states that this is your legal duty (I mean providing all this crap on the form). This is usually the stumbling block for them as there is NO such law.

Baaaagghhh!

Glad you're feeling better about it now though.

julienoshoes · 05/03/2009 21:09

Sorry I can't understand why that didn't work
Try sending an email to [email protected] -that will reach me directly.

julienoshoes · 05/03/2009 21:09

Sorry I can't understand why that didn't work
Try sending an email to [email protected] -that will reach me directly.

bigdonna · 06/03/2009 08:01

well done primrose,handing my letter into day i know i would have not handled that very well!!!just going to home ed temp until we see ed pych and camhs.

robberbutton · 06/03/2009 09:46

Hi Primrose, am very on your behalf but I think you handled it brilliantly.

However, if you can dig deep and find it within you to work with your LEA somehow (obviously not giving them anyhing they're not entitled to, but having a good attitude and willingness to cooperate with everything they can request legally) it might go some way to help the general situation. One of my friends said that on her first visit the LEA lady who came to see her was very antagonistic and suspicious, but as the visits went on and my friend was open and willing to share what they were doing with her, she changed her attitude completely. She said that she was just so used to HEers being uncooperative and defensive (probably very justifiably!) that it coloured the way she approached everyone.

Obviously it's sickening that it might be up to us to show LEA's how to do their job properly, but if that's the situation at the moment then you might be able to do some good and help families who come after you!

milou2 · 06/03/2009 15:56

Congratulations for giving her chapter and verse on the legal position. I gave my EHE lady quite an earful when we met last in a public place.

Maybe we need some standard letters pointing out the actual legal position so they can read and inwardly digest!

I too was positive-ish about visits in a public place, but after 2 I am ready to just deal in writing. I really dislike being patronised by someone who has never home educated for even one day in her life. I did ask first off, in a polite way, whether she had home educated any of her children.

PrimroseHall · 10/03/2009 21:00

Thanks everyone. Sorry I haven't come back to this since last week. DP had a long weekend off work and I've not wanted to spoil it by thinking about how I'm going to respond to the LA.

Podrick, thanks for your lovely post .

Bigdonna, good luck. I'm sorry you've had to make this decision as I understand from your last thread that you'd have preferred DS to remain at school. I hope CAMHS and the Ed Psych appts. come through quickly for you both.

Robberbutton, I've been thinking about your post a lot over the weekend. I still haven't decided how I'm going to meet the LAs demands in a way that seems fair and acceptable to me and meets the legal requirements. My LA seem to be acting in a way that at best misrepresents their duties, and at worst completely ignores the guidelines from the DCSF. It's been such a short time (not even 4 weeks) since we started thinking seriously about HE, made our decision and requested that DS be de-registered. The EWO made an unarranged visit to my home within 2 working days of my meeting with the Head, where I was given confirmation that she would remove DS from the school register. I don't have the information that they are asking for yet, but at least when their requests are in writing I can respond to them after careful consideration and ask them to quote the relevant parts of the law if necessary. I don't like having to think on my feet and I think I would have to if the recent visit is any indication of how further visits would turn out.

If everything goes well and I grow in confidence as I see DS (hopefully) regain confidence and enthusiastically soak up knowledge, I would allow them to visit. I don't know whether they'd be interested in visiting families where HE is established and successful though.

Sorry, I hope that doesn't come across as a rant to you RB. It's just that your post in particular made me think about how I should progress with this

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PrimroseHall · 10/03/2009 21:06

Oh and milou2, I think a standard letter to give to pushy LAs is an excellent idea. Nothing arsey, just a polite reminder of the positives of HE and a clear explanation of what HE families are required to offer to satisfy LAs should do it.

...Not that I'd be any good at writing it

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bigdonna · 14/03/2009 13:34

hi primrosehill,i handed my letter in on friday the 8th.i havent had a letter to say he is off roll yet but recieved forms from lea yesterday.will probably try and keep them sweet as want my ds to go back to school.if you are feeling lonely anytime and want to meet up .i look after a2 yr old,3yr old and we go to cannons alot.you can email me on [email protected] have found my ds is so much calmer and not so aggressive.is your ds much happier.

PrimroseHall · 14/03/2009 16:39

Oh, that's brilliant donna. I'm so glad that he's responding positively already. I have found the same with my DS. He's happy again and his enthusiasm towards learning is returning. I'll email you.

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sobloodystupid · 14/03/2009 16:48

so sorry to hear about your experience. I'm an EWO in Ireland and I don't deal with HE only to refer parents to our "Tom" so to speak. I think that your EWO clearly doesn't understand what HE is about, and as has been said here,parents who choose HE are usually highly committed to a quality education for their children. I do think that this EWO could have acted more professionally, it is not acceptable for her to say she will discuss your business on the doorstep for example.
Our system is clearly different over here - I think that your LEA should be assisting/advising you on such a big step and not be a burden. You've had a few days to think things over, hope you are not disillusioned by the process, HE can be brilliant (am considering it for my dcs when the time comes shhh

PrimroseHall · 14/03/2009 17:18

SBS, thank you. I hope I haven't come across as tarring all EWOs with the same brush. It would have been so much better if they had approached me with interest, reasonable concern and support, rather than suspicion and demands (lies) that HE must be as close to school as humanly possible.

It's very comforting to hear you talk so positively about HE after my recent experience. Maybe "Tom" will turn out to be a nice guy too . Good luck with making your own decision when the time comes.

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