HE for my dd10 and ds13, where do I start.

[debbiedoughnut42]

I have been reading lots of threads and can now see I have a serious option, where before I didn't. My son is getting on ok at high school and is fairly bright but he seems to have no interest in any thing he does at school( and my daughter is really bright and has dyslexic although we can't get the powers to be to say she is. She has been having extra help now for three years and I am filled with dread about her going to high school and not getting any help. I too am dyslexia and suffered badly at high school but also worry about my ability to help them with all they need if I start HE at their ages.Has anyone started HE later in a child's education that can give some advice about where to start?

Hi debbiedoughnut42
I'm dyslexic and have home educated our three children since they were 13, 11 and 8-the deregistration letter went in eight years ago this week! WooHoo!
All three of our children have varying degrees of dyslexia/dysgraphia and dyspraxia-pour youngest daughter was diagnosed as very severely dyslexic and had no word attack skills at all when she left school and couldn't even write or spell even her own name.
Eight years on, home education has been very successful for us, we have had a very happy life together. We only have our youngest still home educating, and she is currently doing well at university level OU courses aged only just 16.

"You can read our story on the Month in the life of....blog On the Home Education Special Needs webpage. I am 'Ann from Worcestershire' there-we changed names at the children's request in those days-our story there seriously needs updating, but it will tell you how we went about things.

That webpage is also home to the brilliant HE-Special Needs email support list The people on that list are the real experts in home educating children with SEN-the parents themselves! The members are supportive and knowledgeable and you will find a warm welcome there.
There is also a book a number of the members of that list contributed to Home Educating Our Autistic Spectrum Children: Paths are made by walking edited by Terri Dowty
"Mainstream educational provision for children on the autistic spectrum can be inadequate or inappropriate. An increasing number of parents dissatisfied with the education system are looking elsewhere for an approach that will suit their children's needs. In "Home Educating Our Autistic Spectrum Children", parents who have chosen to home educate their children with autism or Asperger's syndrome candidly relate their experiences: how they reached the decision to educate at home, how they set about the task, and how it has affected their lives. Following these personal accounts, the final chapters offer practical advice on getting started with home education, legal advice from an expert in education law, and contact details of support organisations"

Although directly targeted fro parents of children with ASD, there is lots of info I feel sure would be most useful.
I'm happy to talk more off forum if you would like to-you can email me through the contact link for our local HE webpage any emails sent there come straight to my inbox.

sorry that last link should have taken you to the email address to reach me, [email protected]

Hi there, we started with our younger daughter when she was 8, a year and a half ago, and our older daughter at 12, this September.

Everyone does things in their own way, and I know this isn't so helpful, but you will find a way into it that suits you. We started very structured with both children, following the national curriculum from workbooks. We do still have some structure, but much less as we have gone on, we've relaxed a lot and found our own way of doing things. I think this is a common story among many home educators.

I found it very, very scary taking a 12 year old out of school. I had no idea how to teach at that level and it was one of the biggest leaps in the dark I have ever done! But it has worked - you learn very quickly. What I found was, because I know my girls better than anyone else, it was easy to find the level they were at and take them on from there - almost subconsciously.

I can't help with dyslexia links, I'm afraid, but I can tell you that if you decide to do HE, it will very quickly stop seeming scary, and soon seem like something you've been doing their whole lives (which you kind of have, actually).

I can tell you that if you decide to do HE, it will very quickly stop seeming scary, and soon seem like something you've been doing their whole lives

Totally agree with you musicposy, have been HE now for 2.5 years and was absolutely terrified at first, but now it seems the most natural thing in the world. In fact the thought of sending my dd's from a young vulnerable age into an institution with a load of strangers everyday, with which I have no control or say or knowledge of what or how they are learning seems very odd to me.

I'm a 'born again home eddder'!

Hi,
Like what Runnerbean said!
We took our 2 boys out 3 years ago and they are 12 and 8 now. Verrrry scary at first but now am Mrs. Chilled of Croydon. We're not even going to go in for GCSE's unless they want to for a particular career.

Just relax and enjoy it if you can.
All the best.

Hi, thanks to everyone who has left comments. They are just the sort of things I was hoping to here. Now I have a bit more reading up to do and some serious thinking. Thanks again.

Kaytee - what sort of jobs are you/they hoping they will have one day?

Anne, have read some of your blog and found it really helpful. It so good to know that your older children are taking exams etc as you can't ignore the facts that for some things in life you still need them. It is also refreshing to see how well they have done given the schools first predications. I have some time now to think before my daughter is due to start high school in September.
Would also like to ask if you or anyone else had any problems with discipline or refusal to do work etc. My daughter is also very strong willed and slightly hyper active which are all part of the way she is but also adds to the will I be able to cope.

sorry for the delay-Seeker,
actually I really don't mind what they end up doing, so long as they enjoy it!
Ds wants to join the Air Cadets this year and do a Duke of Edinburgh Award. He's a keen guitarist and would like to get a band going.
He's also toying with the idea of going to Art College. Universities/colleges are taking on more HE kids without exams as they seem to be very motivated. I have never understood why we put so much pressure on young people (at a time in their lives which is stressful anyway) to "perform" in this way. If they really want to go for something, and it's a requirement for them to have specific qualifications they can concentrate on those ones alone. I don't see the need to cram your head full of info that you're not interested in. It seems a pointless waste of energy to me. The other thing is that anyone, at any age, can gain a qualification...it doesn't have to be around the 15/16 yrs old mark.
As for my littl'un, who's 8, we have loads of time to watch him blossom and find his way to where he wants to go

debbiedoughnut42
I can't answer for everyone, but as we don't do any formal work unless the children asked us to (as you will know if you have read the blog) we haven't had any problems at all.
We follow their interests, and some things they are very interested in and others that they are not so interested in are covered by living life etc.
We have found that when they have seen a need to do something they have done it, of their own volition and without any nagging from us.

LOL no one is more strong willed than our dd1.
At nursery she would put her head into her jumper and tell the teachers, "You write if you want to, I am not doing it"
School tried very hard to break her. She was in trouble all of the time, I seriously think that left there she would have ended up in some sort of 'Brat Camp' in trouble with all sorts of authorities.
My daughter agrees.

However leading a child interest life, educated autonomously, she has done all of the things you have read about in the blog.
She has worked for several different companies-part time when she was still home ed and full time, since.
She has spent a couple of summers sailing round the British Isles, co-chaired the launch party for a new Dyslexia charity, with a well known dyslexia expert from USA and helped run workshops for women who are victims of domestic violence.
She has moved out now. She lives and works in another city, a place she loves. She set up home entirely independently. She only asked my advice over the differences between standing orders and direct debits. She budgets for herself and manages her life very successfully. She has very good references from all of her employers/charities she has worked for.
Instead of her ending up in all sorts of trouble, and having a difficult relationship with me and her dad (which is how it was when she was in school) she has a life she enjoys and a wonderful relationship with us. I am very proud of her.

Our other two have gone down completely different, equally successful paths, experiencing truly personalised education.

So we haven't made them do any work. They do what they choose to and what they are interested in.
So there has not been the discipline problems we experienced when they were in school, they follow their own interests, yet they are succeeding in life-and are very happy and intending to home educate themselves in the same way.

I'd strongly suggest having a look at 'How Children Lean at Home' by Alan Thomas and Harriet Patterson and 'The Teenage Liberation Handbook :How to quit school and get a real life and education' by Grace Llewellyn, for real inspiration and information.
You can find more info on the Books about Home Ed thread, which I'll bump again now.

"what sort of jobs are you/they hoping they will have one day?"

My answer would be, whatever they want.

We have not compelled our children to do any GCSEs/A levels.
We have home educated them through their teens and have found that they have found out what qualifications they have needed to do what they wanted to do-and gone and done them.

Youngest is avoiding GCSEs/A levels altogether and is going directly down the OU route-she started her first course with them at 15 years old (ahving done nothing formal before that) and succeeded very well. She will go on and do her entire degree that way around working around the career she wants.
But then we know other home ed young people, who have used the OU and have entered brick and mortar unis without any GCSEs/A levels. We even know one lad who is doing law at Oxford this way-so we have great examples in front of us.

Anne, thanks again for the books information I intend to read them as I can not get this out of my head now but it all seems scary. The scary part is I am doing the right thing for them and I know me and dh are the only ones who can decide that with some input from them. I am also going to try and find our local group to speak to some other parents.

debbie
every parent on here who has withdrawn their children will know what you are feeling right now.

For me it was a case of anything is better than what they were getting at school, and they were so unhappy- to the extent that ds and dd2 wanted to commit suicide, rather than face a future in school.

What about joining the home ed special needs list, I mentioned earlier? Every parent there who has deregistered has been where you are now and will talk refreshingly honestly about how things have turned out since.

Let us know if you have trouble finding a local group.

Good luck whatever you decide.