Home-schooling four children of six and under - TIPS PLS!

[Psychomumma]

Maybe I shd post this on the 'Larger Families' thread too . Interested to hear from other mums home-schooling lots of young children (I have: DD 6yrs, sensitive, likes quality time talking/doing with me; DD 4yrs, mental drama queen, cd talk hind legs off donkey; DS almost 2yrs, bullies sisters, wrecks their games and v deliberately clingy with me - and expecting no. 4 DS Dec 15th !) How does one balance each child's needs/demands with cooking, washing (I already let the cleaning slide ), etc whilst breastfeeding on demand - prev kids = every 2/3 hrs including thru the night... Tend to get v. short-tempered and impatient when tired too. Hm. Sounds like recipe for disaster! HELP!

Psychomumma- I didn't want to read this without answering. You sound like you could be me.

DD1 (6)- like yours is very sensitive, she, anxious, phobic and has speech problems.

DD2 (5)- Everything you said about your dd2 really fits the bill quite nicely.

DD3 (2)- very clingy, even more mental then dd2 (but lovely)demands lots of attention.

no. 4 due April 8th. I too need my sleep and get stessed and ratty without it.

I have no hard and fast answers for you because I too have been wandering how I will cope. But we are educating to an autonomous style at the moment which works really well for us.

Some wiser more experienced mumsnetter will be along shortly to give you better answers then I could, but just wanted you to know that you are not alone.

Pink

From experience of being home-educated in a large family (6 children with 2 years between each), I would say that autonomy is the way to go.

You could get the kids to help you with the new baby and with the housework, and make it fun as well as "educational". Maybe they could sort the washing out, count pairs of socks, help to set the table and count the number of place settings needed. Perhaps DD1 could help you with the baby or with cooking, especially if she likes quality time with you. Emphasise how helpful she is and what a good big sister. Maybe she could practice her reading by telling a story to everyone while you breastfeed DC4 and you can all have some quiet time.

This is all based on what my mum did with us - I was the "helpful big sister" and loved it lol!

Haven't had personal experience of home educating young children, but the excellent MuddlePuddle website is aimed at families who home educate children under the age of 8 ish, and there is an associated EArly Years Home Ed support list I'm sure you'll find advise and support from others in a similar situation there.

I have 3 kids and fourth due in 10 weeks. (aged 6.5, nearly 5, nearly 2).

We flit between structured and autonomous approaches.

When it's structured:
We access Educationcity (NC based) usually daily.
They read everyday to me.
We have Singapore Maths and Miquon maths workbooks.
We have the History of the World series. and Handwriting Without Tears.

When it's more of an autonomous day we potter round playing games, making things, painting, cooking and watching tv (usually something I've sky-plussed which is educational).

They have some set organised activities during the week too.

Generally, we wake up and see what sort of a day it is. There will no doubt be a period of time (about 6 months) when the baby arrives and you just about keep your head above water.
Go with the flow, don't worry about it, they'll be learning all the time without anything specifically educational.

The days where we spend much of it in conversation are the ones where mine absorb the most info.
Get some audio cd's from the library and put them in the car for car journeys so at least they have a story read to them wherever you're going to.

Hi

I have four girls aged 5.5y, nearly 4, nearly 2 and 2m. I think that for me to cope, I'd either have to be totally structured, down to the last minute, or totally autonomous - we choose the latter! I firmly believe in autonomous education anyway, and that's important. It means I can just relax and know that learning will happen as we continue to live life. I feel like I'm running really fast just to keep still at the moment, so if I felt I had to fit in lessons etc. with all that, I'd go mad I think! I know my daughters are learning loads just from living, because I have seen them do it for the last 5.5y and it's beautiful and awe-inspiring to watch - makes me think 'who are we to take this away from children? we don't know best how they learn - they do!'.

FWIW, I think I'd also go mad if I were getting them all ready to get DD1 off to school in the mornings and then be there to pick her up on time in the afternoon - I don't think HE makes life with multiple children any harder - it's just a different sort of hard work than having schooled children is.

hi

i have dd1 5, ds 2 and dd2 1. dd2 is a clingy breast fed baby who does not sleep day or night!!!! we also have a 6yr old golden ret and a 16 week old puppy so pee everywhere as well so here goes a few tips

have seperate boxes for younger children with activities for them to do, like file folders, pens and paper, water jug in the sink (bit messy), fun with phonic dvd, magazines etc, ds loves playing with unifix cubes colour and counting i find that ds wants to do 'work' when dd1 is doing work.

let the younger children play with duplo, dolls house, car garage, etc

one positive thing about having them so young and close together is, once you have done english and maths, the rest of the subjetcs all the kids can do together, we do things like reading, giant map games are great, experiments, nature walks.

i am very lucky as my husband helps with the housework, and ironing does not get done it has to be teamwork or it does not work

have you looked at five in a row or ambleside on line, i have not used them but maybe worth a look.

hth mt3 x

Thanks people, good stuff there. Don't suppose any of you near south-east London? Happy to hear someone else confirm my ideas about the importance of simply being available for MANY conversations/questions all day long - esp in light of recent research about imp of parents talking to their kids; horrifyingly, the 'good' bracket was 2000-2500 words adult>child PER MONTH!!! I must get through that in a day! Feels like it, anyway
Sorkycake - how did you you find your kids learnt to read? Would love the world of reading to be opened up for my 6 yr old who already loves books. I read very fluently very young myself, just can't quite remember how I learnt how to!?! Congratulations on your imminent arrival btw

Hi Psychomumma,
I'm in South East london. One of my HE friends who lives in Bexley has 4 dds 6 and under and another on the way!
I run a HE group in Hayes/Bromley with another mum, and it's our xmas party next Friday, be lovely to see you.
You can contact me on:
[email protected]

Also in SE london is a lovely HE family with 12 children!

Hi Psychomumma,
I'm in Croydon and HE 2 boys (8 and 12).
There are some lovely families this way, as Runnerbean mentioned.
Where abouts in SE are you?
Btw, my 8 yr old taught himself to read by playing a computer game and looking at comics. I kid you not, that's all he used over the last couple of years and he can read perfectly now. If you provide them with the resources which take their individual interest they do it when they're ready!
School killed his will to read as they made him read (in his words) "baby books" and also he hated reading aloud so he refused for ages to even look at a book. It actually caused him distress so we backed off and let him find reading material which he liked and it just "happened".
Anyhoo, good luck and maybe bump into you all at Runnerbeans group

Sorry for delay, had a baby 14th December, moved house a couple of weeks previously and my sister got married on Monday! Still alive, just. I'm now back in Peckham, which puts me just that bit further from the Croydon/Bromley groups. Where is the family with 12 children located??! If anyone is anywhere near me, with kids of a similar age, let me know. Once the weather is warmer, could do park/playground meets. Don't really want to take new-born out too much in the FREEZING cold, which restricts what I can take the girls to for a bit.
Also, eldest DD (7) keeps asking me to find her a school . Tips on how to deal with this? She went to nursery for about a term aged 4, her sister's just done the same thing (but now back at home, having just turned 4 and we moved area). She doesn't really know any other home-educated children well, would prob love a 'proper' friend who also doesn't go to school...

our dd1 has a really good friend who we met at one of HEing groups, and they are really good friends now, best advice is to get out to some HEing groups, its really hard with younger ones but worth it, cause the older kids can go and 'play' whilst you feed the baby and you might even get a sneaky coffee if one group does not suit your child try another, we have been to a few which dd1 did not like, but she now happily goes to 3 and 2 sportie ones!

hope you are keeping well and getting some rest with your new born
mt3 x

Thanks, mt3, i guess that makes sense - it's just the thought of dragging 4 kids out when I'm feeling pretty fragile myself... and I'm quite shy, too, and find meeting new people/small-talking q. difficult. However, if she makes 1 proper, local-ish HE friend it will have been worth it. How long should I give each group, tho, b4 giving up and moving on to the next? Assuming her life-long buddy isn't at the first group we go to, obviously .

hi

i maybe wrong and everyone has there own opinion, but i went to this other group twice, and felt that was enough, i think you should trust your instincts, also i find HEed groups the parents/carers are friendly and you all want the same for your children, different families do it for different reasons and its nice to talk to others and share your experiences, i have made some really good friends this way and have found that when i am having a bad day i can call a friend who understands

hth mt3 x

Psychomumma - I'm in SW London and always bit jealous of SE Londoners as there seems to be loads going on there. Have you come across Brandram Road HE group? I haven't been as it's a bit far for us, but it sounds great and people I've met who've been say it's good. Sounds v friendly, with lots of opportunity for making friends, but also activities (there's an inside area, so you can keep the baby warm). If you join the SLHE (south london he group) yahoo group then people post about this and other activities and I think they've got details of the various groups in the files.
I have 3 boys, including 9 mo and I really find that groups give me a break - the older two run around and I can chat or feed the baby in peace. Also don't worry about being shy or small-talk - you have a new-born - you don't need small-talk, it's the perfect time to join a HE group as everyone will just come and coo at the baby.