It's the 'getting' DS2 to do things which is the mindset which leads me to get all cross and coercive and harsh.
Once I return to the 'observing' what he is doing and having a chuckle about a clip on YouTube alongside him, I am happier and he is happier.
He was the one who wanted me to watch Sex Education on TV last night, so I happened to be happy about doing that, though I got pins and needles! I want to note down in my book of what gets discussed each week something quick like 'watched prog re sex education/labour/erectile dysfunction/men's muscles'. Job done, but no stressy shouting and pressurising. In fact he was the one leading the exploration, knew what time the programme was on and did a countdown to 8pm for us. All I did was be there.
He strongly encouraged me to watch wrestling clips on YouTube yesterday too, I was a bit iffy about it, but then I started asking questions about why the doctors bothered to attend, surely nhs should refuse to encourage such events because it is encouraging unnecessary injuries, he replied that they had private doctors there all the time. I didn't know that, maybe he is wrong, but one of us would have to google it to find out.
It's the hanging around at home while he does his hoovering up information which is hard, I just do laundry, washing up, mumsnet, reading yet more information about how Home Education is for other families etc in the times between him asking for an information injection from me. It feels very passive in some ways, but I'm really in charge from a very hands off position.
Actually there is something very profound going on, if he says he has a headache, I now automatically believe him and offer remedies. I speak more truthfully to him and he knows I will believe him most of the time. And that enables the many brief discussions about the world which could be regarded as educational and intellectual.