Year 6 summer term - Home ed or not?

[GardeningMummy]

I realise this is a very, very last minute question so therefore I don’t have enough time to go into detail why this has come about but, to summarise….
DD has ASD and has a ton of (mostly social) issues at school. This ramped right up before the Easter holidays and so as you can imagine, she’s dreading going back and is giving herself stomach issues from the worry.
So my question: what kind of activities (other than SATs of course) would she be missing out on, if I home educated her for the remainder of the school year? I mean, I’m presuming year 6 is vaguely similar in all state primaries, is it not?
She’s all set to go to high school in September but my worry is that home educating her, whilst it may help her now, could potentially make going to high school that much harder for her?? I’m at a loss. I’ve tried talking to the school but the new headteacher just doesn’t listen, says she’ll look into things and get back to you but doesn’t, then when you enquire about it, she has zero clue what you’re referring to…! And, as other parents have also said, she seems completely clueless to all matters SEN.
Moving her is not an option for a few reasons.
What would you do??

Please go easy on me if I’m missing the obvious, my head is in a spin 😵‍💫 Thanks

I was just completely honest and said that she couldn’t make it in that day. They were pretty useless the whole way through and really didn’t bother with her especially after sats when they are all winding down. When I told them that she wouldn’t be going on the school residential they did say she wouldn’t be expected to go into another class but that was never going to happen so I told them she would be at home that week, her teacher sent a message saying she hoped she has a great week!

That’s good you’re confident about her new secondary school.
i don’t think you should have to contact them that would usually be in the form of a handover from the primary SENDCO to the secondary one but in the absence of someone in post or covering the role which is a concern in itself - id be taking it upon myself to book an appointment with them and having a chat with them about the current situation and September.

I hope you can get it sorted - what a worry for you x

I wouldn’t rely on the primary giving all the necessary information. Plus it is always good to touch base directly to discuss support.

The parent of the other child with an EHCP should look at the wording in F carefully. It needs to be detailed, specified and quantified. If it is, it can be enforced, including via JR if necessary. The LA is ultimately responsible for ensuring the provision is provided. However, if the wording is vague and woolly e.g. with wording such as ‘access to’, ‘opportunities for/to” “adult support”, “as required” etc. it is unenforceable and, if the other parent is still within the appeal window, they should appeal to improve the wording. Too many EHCPs have poor wording and parents only realise when they need to enforce the provision but can’t.

Parents absolutely can withdraw their children from SATS. I know parents who have.

Parents cannot just decide to withdraw their DC from the SATs.

The final decision on test participation lies with the HT. See the government’s information on test participation here. “Headteachers make the final decision about whether it is appropriate for a pupil to take the tests.”

Also see DfE’s response to this FOI request. “As set out in regulation 5 of the Education (National Curriculum) (Key Stage 2 Assessment Arrangements)(England) Order 2003, headteachers have a statutory duty to ensure that all children in their school who are eligible and can sit national curriculum tests do so, and their decision regarding participation is final. Headteachers do have discretion, however, to determine whether or not it is appropriate for a pupil to sit the tests.”

Parents may decide to just keep their DC off, but this may result in unauthorised absences.

Best thing to do is listen to your DD and follow her lead as to what's in her interest. Keep the school in the loop and encourage her to try going into school - even for part days. If she goes in great, if she doesn't, then do something with her that is nourishing for her wellbeing.
My children have had phases when they've refused to go into school for various reasons. My DH tried to force them in but I refused, as it was so unusual for them to refuse that there was clearly an issue. The issues were generally dealt with and they are mostly in happily. However if they really don't want to go in I don't force it - my DD is in y6 as well!!

We did this. ASD and overwhelm and anxiety started in year 6. We used the time to reset, build self confidence and to transition into the secondary school. The SEND team at his new school were fantastic and he had a few sessions in the school before the summer holidays. The change to secondary is huge, particularly in sensory terms and despite lots of support over 2 years it didn’t work out for us, he’s now thriving in a specialist school, that we were very fortunate to find.

I would most definitely speak to the SENCo at the new high school, as believe it or not they do not always know of every child that needs additional support. My daughter had a horrible time when starting at high school. She really struggles socially and the transition to high school with so much change caused her so much stress and anxiety. With hormones and all the additional stresses of high school she ended up really mentally unwell.

I know people who have removed their children from SATS. They told the headteacher that their child would not be taking them. They did not simply keep them off from school. One of these parents knows the law very well. School did not question their judgement.

As I said and provided the links to show, the final decision lies with the HT. The parents may have said that and the school agreed with them. That isn’t the same as parents being able to simply withdraw their child.

I’m so sorry to hear that, that’s awful! Is she ok now?

This is exactly what I did with my dd in year 6, my dh also tried shouting and forcing her in but that was pointless and made everything worse.

Her issues are around socialisation. If you home school you enable avoidant type behaviour.

It will be ten times harder for her to start high school, with many of the same children, but in a bigger environment with less ability for you to intervene.

She will not go.

You are not talking about home schooling for a term. It's permanent. And then how does she then integrate with society as a whole when she leaves school?

You have to find a way to navigate the next term or you will store up more problems for September. Or you have to be prepared to realise this and that you intend to home school permanently.

Just to add you can remove your child from sats. I did this last year. The pressure was insanely intense and my daughter struggled with her mental health and the build up tipped her over the edge. I wrote to the headteacher explaining I was withdrawing her from sats. No issues.

Thanks. She is okay now, however I did have to home educate her for a year. After 4 years and 4 different high schools, she is finally getting the support she needs in a mainstream school attending their Learning Support Hub. This allows her to still learn but in a lot calmer environment. She’s very academically strong she just struggles socially.
I credit the amazing SENCo at her school now, with how well she is doing.

Sometimes it’s just the school system that’s the wrong fit, how a person can ‘fit in’ in school isn’t a reflection of success in life.

My socially anxious, dyslexic daughter left school at the start of year 8 and was home educated, then went to a UTC at 14. She went straight into an apprenticeship at 18 and now manages a team. Hated school, loves her autonomy.

My eldest son asd, very socially awkward, never went out, had one or two friends at secondary. Is now in his second year at Uni, they had an early arrivals programme for asd students. He has a huge group of friends, and a girlfriend- he can not believe how much his life has changed for the better.

She will get there- her route might just look different, and that’s not just okay- it could very well be the thing that gives her an advantage in later life. What matters is her knowing that you hear her and she has your support however you get through!

If they were going to bomb them it’s better for the school then isn’t it? The school don’t want a child’s results dragging all the others down. That’s not the same as parents just deciding that their child isn’t taking them.

Op do they have a timetable of ‘fun’ events or a calendar on their website?. You should talk to your daughter about whether they’d be fun for her because it’s my experience that activities which are out of the ordinary like school trips, school plays etc can be more stressful than the normal school routine.

I used to force my audhd year 6 daughter in because I thought it was ‘fun’ and the teachers would say she’s ‘fine’ in school but she’d come home and have a meltdown. In her last term they had things like a leavers assembly and breakfast (when they wore their new hoodies), cycling course, first aid course and school play. Sadly she couldn’t handle the stress of any of these things. Ignore anyone who says she needs to go to school now or she won’t go in later. I forced my daughter in and also in year 7 and it made her unwell. Yet I know a child who was home schooled in years 5 and 6 and is now doing well in a school in year 10. So do what you feel is right for your child because you’re the only one who knows her.

As I said and my links show, the final decision on who is disapplied lies with the HT. Your HT obviously agreed DD should be disapplied and rightly so by the sounds of it, but that doesn’t mean parents can just withdraw their DC from SATs, they can’t.