Year 10 homeschool - where to start?

[Citygirlrurallife]

sorry this is long, don’t want to drip feed and trying to answer any obvious questions in initial post

My DD is in year 9 and has some anxiety around school. She’s undergoing CBT through school (having also been in private therapy), is having an autism assessment in April (though I’m on the fence as to whether she’ll get a diagnosis), identifies as lesbian, tends to wear quite grungy clothing and is hyper sensitive to being called weird or her friends being called weird, hates seeing anyone from school in our small market town, holds onto low level unkindness she has been subjected to (not bullying and often the kind of stuff others would be able to brush off but she just can’t) and has this year sometimes refused to go to school. We’re trying to support her in every way we can and while she is definitely hyper sensitive I don’t think there are actually any additional SEN things at play and while she tends towards the morose I also think her mental health is driven a lot by hormones and it generally not being very fun being 14. But I constantly question all the choices I’ve made as a parent and really do want to help her be happy.

anyway this is all to give background to why she’s now asking if she can be homeschooled. My initial response is no - her dad works full time (though admittedly from home) and I’m a feast-or-famine freelancer who can one week have no work and another week be doing a 2hr commute both ways often staying in London and another wfh. There’s no real security or sustainability in my job but I love it and we need it.

I have offered to her to look at other schools but we live in an area with not much choice. There’s a small nurturing private school we could go and look at which in a good year for me we could afford and in a bad year not so much. There’s a very progressive very expensive private school that is financially totally out of the question. There are other state school options though to be honest she’s at the best in the area for pastoral care as much as academics and they’ve genuinely been very helpful in trying to support her. However she claims she doesn’t want to start all over again and I do think a lot of the problems are just life problems that won’t be solved by being with a different bunch of teenagers.

but I have said to her we will look at what homeschooling would even mean. I have no idea where to start. I know we could probably get tutors etc and academically I’m not too concerned about her managing to get through her GCSEs but I am very concerned about her reducing her world even more so quite aside from the how do DH and I actually manage her academically, how do we find other groups or students so she doesn’t end up just staying home all the time (often school is the only thing in the week she leaves the house for). I’ll add that public transport isn’t great where we live and she hates getting it. So ferrying constantly is also a massive problem for us and balancing work

if we went ahead it would just be for the next 2 years to get her through years 10&11, get her GCSEs and then off to college proper. She’s capable academically, in the top sets for everything and currently aiming for grades 7-9 and does want to do well

Tell her your concerns and ask her to come with a plan as to how these could be managed. With prices. If she’s going to be homeschooled, she’ll need to be proactive about her learning and personal growth. Let her do the research and report back to you. That might give you an idea of how serious she is about it.

That’s really good advice, thankyou

The presentation you describe meets the definition of having SEN. SEN isn’t just those who have already been diagnosed with e.g. ASD. DD clearly has SEMH needs and Communication and Interaction needs. Have you spoken to the SENCO?

Ask around your local home ed community for groups. I think lots of home ed meet ups and groups are found via Facebook groups. In some areas it can be hard to break into home ed circles at DD’s age. There isn’t one way to EHE, some will do lots of groups, some a few and some none.

If DD would be fine going to college, have you looked if any of your local colleges have a 14-16 programme? Although these often aren’t as academic as top sets in schools.

When you say DD has refused to go to school, how often are you meaning? Rather than EHE, have you thought about pursuing more support from the school &/or LA?

This site has lots of information about home ed for older children and thinking about exams
https://he-exams.fandom.com/wiki/HE_Exams_Wiki

If you think she’s capable of doing well at GCSE, a big consideration would be which subjects is she taking (assume options are done if in year 9?) and with which exam boards? Where could she sit those exams? Remember to factor in the cost and any practical elements - eg in languages you often need to do group work, music is the same, PE needs individual and team sports.
I think a 14 year old would need an incredible amount of support to achieve the desired levels having only just left the school environment.
Could you afford Kings Interhigh or Minerva Academy to provide the teaching and support as it sounds like you and your DH aren’t in a position to?

Thanks for the responses.

we’ve sought and received a lot of help from school and CAHMS and she’s undergone an ADHD assessment (has traits but not diagnosis) and is about to undergo and autism one. She’s currently going through a 20 week CBT course at school through the EMH team after a full assessment, is on a socialisation course through school and has been through a few other similar ones. TBH I’m not sure what other support we can ask for, she has a lot. I could def try SENCO though. I’ll also try FB for local groups.

I’ve no idea if we can afford all the things listed by @Muchtoomuchtodo but Thankyou for the starting points for my research!

In regard to what support is available, I was thinking of an EHCP. You don't need to know what support DD needs, that is what the needs assessment is for. With an EHCP, there are options other than a mainstream school. For example, at an alternative provision setting, home tutoring, online schooling. But also further mental health provision (CBT doesn’t work for all but also many need more work than 20 weeks. Also wider support with MH beyond direct therapy) and further support for communication and interaction.

i can try but I already know how long and arduous that process is, at least where we are, as a family we know who’s daughter hasn’t attended school for a year (with no homeschooling plan) and has multiple ND diagnoses has only just had one started.

mine has made it in every day but we’ve had a few weeks at the start of the year where she didn’t make it in until break time and was getting picked up again at some point before the end of the day so she hasn’t missed that much school and in the last two months she’s not wanted to go in particularly but she has

You don’t need anyone to start the EHCP process for you. You can request an EHCNA yourself now. On their website, IPSEA has a model letter you can use. You don’t need the school to agree or do it for you. Despite what some LAs think, the law is the same in all LAs. You can get EHCPs for DC who attend school full-time.

You can only learn effectively if your mind is calm, if it’s in a constant state of fight or flight or fawn which is being displayed by highly anxious behaviours which your DD appears to be showing then how much is she actually learning in school.
Learning in a different environment (school/ AP or at home) can allow her to decompress more which should help. However out of the structure of a bricks & mortar school she’s still going to need a lot of emotional support. GCSE level work is pressure and relentless organisation is needed if you are home educating. You either need to throw money at it by outsourcing via tutors or online schools like Mineva or you need to have lots of time to together co-regulating and facilitating the education. Both are doable but she still needs to sit exams to get the bits of paper to prove to others she’s done it. Anxiety can still be the blocker here & it’s costly to pay for exams as a private candidate- do join the face book group UK exams and Alternatives to get lots of information as it has a good wiki infor page. Exam boards differ & some cannot be taken as a private candidate.
I’d work back from what may want to do next - Alevels need min number of gcse passes often at G6+, other options at L2, L3 BTEC or foundation courses will be lower entry but often need min of Maths & English pass. Good luck it’s such a hard time to navigate I’m in the middle of it with my child.

I think if you could in a good year afford probate, it would be worth looking at minerva online school - it’s entirely online, much cheaper than a normal private school so perhaps you could pay for it and save so you have a buffer for bad years.

They will have seen all this before - a huge part of their intake is teens who are either autistic or showing some traits, and are experiencing anxiety at school.