Help my son hates school (GCSE year) any advice?

[CandleSniffer]

Hi, my son hates school, to the extent he can’t sleep, his mental health is declining. He is a child who doesn’t do well in a school environment. I really want to him to pass some GCSEs and have considered taking him out and homeschooling or at least seeing if I can partner with the school. Does anyone have any experience of this? Thanks so much in advance.

Hi, if you de register him, you will need to find an exam centre for him to take his exams and pay for them, this can be around £250 per subject and you need to be booking then now. Locally exam centres for private candidates are few and far between and get booked fast. Please also note some subjects also not accessible as a home educating young person due the any coursework, teacher assessment elements. Do you have any medical evidence to support your son’s mental health/anxiety as you could try to see if the school will support a medical needs referral. This is where he stays on school roll but gets tuition at home, usually in 12 week blocks that’s then reviewed to see if it needs renewing.

We did this with my eldest . Its definitely doable but requires a lot of planning. If you do want to stick to the curriculum and take gcse .
Lots online to support this.
We found it only works if we stick to a daily timetable.
We pay for tutor in maths and English.

And if you cant get help from the school then do plan for the cost of the exams .
You may find he really likes learning from home .

Doing exams through Y11 at home is a tough time to do it, and not ideal. If the school will agree to him working from home and just coming in for the exams, that would save you a lot of time and money, though if there is a coursework element then that could be a sticking point. They are only likely to agree to this if they accept that he is too unwell to attend. Schools don't like doing this as it affects their attendance figures as well as their results (assuming your son is likely to get lower than average results). They prefer to manage such children out. So try for that, but realise you'll have to push hard and may not succeed. Tip: if you are pushing for more help from the school, do NOT say a word about the possibility that you might consider home education. If they think you are willing to take your son "off their hands", they will be more obstructive in hopes you will give up, deregister, and cease to be their problem. Of course you can and should still investigate and consider home ed, just don't tell the school.

Given how bad your son's mental health is, you might decide that keeping him happy and well is more important than education anyway at this moment. There will always be ways for him to get an education later. Restoring badly damaged mental health is not so easy. With this in mind, some parents in your situation will withdraw their child from school and put in place a very low demand education, focusing on their interests and happiness, and put GCSEs on the back burner.

GCSEs are not compulsory when you home educate. There is a wide variety of valid educational approaches to choose from, including child-led unstructured learning. When my eldest was 16 they were concentrating on self-taught art, music, and sports coaching. (In our case this was an active choice, which is somewhat unusual in home ed circles; most kids who can manage GCSEs do sit a handful of them.) They later decided they did want some qualifications after all, and passed English and maths GCSE aged 19/20 before going on to university.

So if you decide to do adopt a very relaxed approach while letting your son recover, no one will be on your case about it.

Thank you all for your responses, it’s given me a lot to think about x

If DS can’t attend school full time, rather than deregister, I would request alternative provision. Ultimately, that is the responsibility of the LA rather than the school.

You could also consider requesting an EHCNA. It isn’t too late in Y11. The benefit of this is it can include therapeutic support DC wouldn’t otherwise receive. And section 19 provision only applies to compulsory school aged children, whereas EHCPs can be until 25, or 26 in some cases, if necessary.

What support has the school been providing? What have they tried but hasn't worked?

I had this with both my daughters but like 15 years ago.. they were allowed to do their work at home and was sent to them... and attend a one to one with a teacher of their choice one day a week... both passed 8 GCSE's.. both have had great careers but never ever needed their GCSE's one went to beauty college paid for her by her Grandparents.. other started volunteering in a nursing home for adults with SN's and worked her way up with employment.
Don't stress.