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Home ed

Find advice from other parents on our Homeschool forum. You may also find our round up of the best online learning resources useful.

Were you home educated?

13 replies

honeyshouldwehomeschool · 29/05/2025 12:46

Hi,

I was just wondering if any of you were home educated and how your experience was?

any tips or advice on things that were good, bad, worked really well, didn’t work?

thank you,
leah

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Saracen · 29/05/2025 22:16

Hi Leah, why do you ask? 🙂Are you gathering information for something which you are going to publish?

Also are you in the UK? People's experiences of home education tend to be very different in different countries.

honeyshouldwehomeschool · 30/05/2025 07:13

Hey,

I home ed my kids, well one so far, one is 6 and one is 3 and I love hearing about how others have approached home ed and how people that were home educated found it. When I was in the decision making process, I went around asking everyone i met if they liked school or not. I think it’s just an extension of that. Curiosity :)

It won’t be published anywhere and yes I’m in the uk but I wasn’t particularly asking only those in the uk.

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Saracen · 30/05/2025 16:27

Ah right! I was wondering because journalists and other content producers tend to ask big open questions like yours. Most of the chats I have with other home educators are more specific, like Will my child be lonely? or How hard is it to home ed at secondary?

Saracen · 30/05/2025 16:38

My 25yo said they felt very lucky to have been home educated, the more so as they talked to other young adults who had had very damaging experiences at school. They did struggle a bit around the ages of 7-10 due to being a conformist and not liking to feel different. This was one of the reasons they tried school in Y5, to see if they were missing anything. It was a useful experience, and they decided to resume home education after a term, with a better understanding of the pros and cons for them. One thing they wished I had done differently was to encourage them to do maths and English GCSE at least, around the “usual” age. They ended up doing them aged 19-20 instead of, which wasn’t a big deal, but they wished they’d got them out of the way sooner.

honeyshouldwehomeschool · 31/05/2025 17:10

i think I’m more interested in the whole rather than a specific element. Thank you so much for sharing. That’s very interesting about the GCSEs.
how did you approach your days?

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Saracen · 31/05/2025 20:56

We unschooled and were very "go with the flow". The rhythm of our days was dictated by whatever outside groups and playdates we had on, and everything else fit around that. My older child was super sociable, and so we were out seeing people or having friends round every day of the week. Luckily the younger one (seven years younger) was perfectly happy to follow round watching her older sibling.

DC2 was quite big - eight or so - before she expressed any preferences for doing things herself. Between that and the big age gap, we didn't have the challenges which some families have with children's different needs. By the time DC2 wanted me to take her places, DC1 could stay home alone, and had been able to get about on the bus for some years and mostly just did their own thing. I love living in a city! It gave DC1 independence.

honeyshouldwehomeschool · 01/06/2025 06:54

This is sort of how I’m approaching it at the moment. Choosing the clubs/social bits/trips and then flowing the rest of the time. Can I ask how you approached getting them to read?

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Saracen · 01/06/2025 12:33

DC1 is a conformist and definitely picked up on the fact that our society expects children to be reading at an early age, and that many people consider this a "test" of education. So they asked me to teach them to read when they were 6.5, and they worked hard on it. In contrast to most home ed kids I know, mine preferred a reading scheme, and chose the Oxford Reading Tree (Biff, Chip, and Kipper) books which most schools use. They liked having just a small amount of text on each page and knowing that if they did the levels in order, they wouldn't be presented with anything which was much too hard. Unlike at school, they read each book over and over and over, and often revisited the lower level books. I think this was both because they liked the content, and also to reassure themselves that they were progressing. ("I remember when Level 2a felt hard, and now it feels easy" sort of thing.)

Progress was steady but very slow despite their strong motivation. It finally seemed to fall into place around their ninth birthday, at which point they became a proficient independent reader. In retrospect, I think they weren't developmentally ready, and would have benefited from waiting. I bet if they had started at nine, they would have just got it in no time. But I understand why they didn't feel able to wait. Even outside of school, peer pressure is a thing!

GoatsareGOAT · 01/06/2025 13:15

I wasn't but my kids are. My two teens have no wish to go to school & no regrets about not going (neither do my younger kids) & my eldest has got good GCSEs & is excited to be off to college after the summer. (Scotland so she's going to do an NC plus study a couple more highers remotely - we don't have the handy "sixth form college" thing here)

Mine learnt to read by being read to - I read to them all for hours every day & all of them were reading well by 7. They took different paths - one flipped a switch & was reading huge chapter books within 6 months, the others read loads of comic books etc & the big chapter books came along aged about 9. They're all bookworms (but DH & I both are too so I doubt it has anything to do with HE!)

I did/do maths in a semi structured way with them (life of fred & Beast Academy books but done ad hoc) but everything else is driven by them/comes from life & reading. Then GCSEs because I wanted them to have a CV/fill in a form for a job without having to explain every time that they were HE 😆

Saracen · 01/06/2025 17:09

My DC2 has a learning disability and from my observations, I didn't think she was at all ready for reading when she was young. She didn't have much phonic awareness, didn't recognise rhyming words, didn't remember which symbol was which on the washing machine, couldn't remember a sequence of several things, and so on. Besides, she had a very short attention span and no interest in reading. Luckily, she was immune to other people's expectations. She wasn't too aware of what anyone else was doing at particular ages and had no desire to conform. The fact she wasn't in a classroom with kids all her own age meant she was blithely unaware that she was far "behind" by academic standards.

So I just read to her (she would usually only tolerate a few nursery rhymes or other short poems), let her see me and her sibling reading, tried playing I Spy and doing pattern matching with her, and waited for her to be ready. I also laid the expectation for it by mentioning to her from time to time that just about everyone is able to learn to read and does so eventually, that it's a very useful life skill, that it happens at different ages, that people use different methods, and that some people have to work quite hard at it while others find it easy, so it might take several years of focused work to get the hang of it. When she was about ten she showed signs of being able to manage the job of learning to read, if she wanted to... which she didn't. :-D She did recognise a number of individual words but she didn't want to go farther with it.

Then during the Covid lockdowns she spent a lot of time communicating with friends and relatives through various messaging apps. I read their messages to her and helped her by typing in whatever she wanted to say. But sometimes I was too busy, and her impatience prompted her to use speech-to-text. I think this was instrumental in her learning to read and write. I often observed her having to choose between several options the app was offering her, or trying to spell words phonetically and seeing what autocorrect made of her attempts.

However, the process by which she learned to read will always be something of a mystery to me. She's one of those secretive learners who doesn't really want to share what she is thinking, and definitely doesn't want to be quizzed about what she knows and what she can do!

She still can't manage walls of text, or grasp complex sentences. However, that's in line with her overall abilities; she doesn't understand if I read it aloud to her either. But I'd describe her as functionally literate, and that is a win. Her spelling continues to come on in leaps and bounds. She's 18 and still learning!

GoatsareGOAT · 01/06/2025 18:48

That's a fabulous story saracen I know a HE kid who learnt to read by always having the subtitles on when she watched a particular program, another who learnt to read aged about 10 because he needed to read something for Minecraft & one who binged all the alpha blocks (? I think that's the name) cartoons for a month & after that he was a reader 😃
so many different paths

Saracen · 01/06/2025 19:43

What about your kids, @honeyshouldwehomeschool ? Do they read at all, and if so how did they learn?

honeyshouldwehomeschool · 02/06/2025 08:25

Thanks so much for sharing all that :)

So my 6 year old (he was 6in April) has never been to school and I felt that pressure to make sure he could read so I kind of forced it before he was ready I think, trying to do anything to get him to read, early reader books, games, thinking of random little ways to get him to remember the letters. And in hindsight with deepest regret, telling him that if he wouldn’t learn to read he would have to go school. I was so unbelievably anxious to begin with and all our family were questioning our choice and now looking back I feel pretty guilty about that. Anyway, fast forward to today, he knows the alphabet and all his phonic sounds, he’ll get confused or forget occcasionally but he’s basically got them. Now we’re sort of working on the two vowel sounds and trying to remember them and he’s getting pretty good at blending sounds together. He only likes to read small amounts, like if I present him with a book, even an easy early reader one, he immediately switches off because its too much and he can’t deal with the amount that’s expected of him but he’ll happily try and read bits, like a label on the back of my car seat or if something comes up on the tv or he sees a sign etc. I also implemented for a while that if he wanted to play on his kindle he had to do 30 minutes of teach your monster to read but he ended up just not playing on his kindle because he got fed up of the repetitiveness of the game.
I have learnt a lot from this experience and imagine it’ll be very different to how I approach things with my daughter.

They also listen to audiobooks a lot, we read stories everyday and if they’re happy playing I try and sit and read if I don’t have other stuff to do so they can see me reading, so I feel like there’s a good foundation :)

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