Tell me what you do

[baffledandnervous]

My dd is due to start school in September and I am getting more and more nervous as the time comes around. I have often considered home ed although dh would need to be persuaded. The problem is that although i have a degree I don't actually feel like I am clever enough to teach my children, also dd never actually believes me about anything. She is a very confident friendly child and I would hate to see her lose this as I believe I did when I started school.
Anyway I think what i really want to know is have you always been confident with your decision, Is your child stimulated enough and do you intend to put them into the school sysytem later and if so at what age?

baffledandnervous,
I am not in the same position as you-we withdrew our children from school aged 13,11 and 8 years old when they were very unhappy and the schools were not meeting their needs.

But I do know there is an Early Years HE email support list where lots of people will identify with your questions. I am certain you will get answers and support there.

the home page of the group says:
For anyone with 0-8 year olds (ish- but we aren't picky - if you are still in to sticking, pasting and stuff, please join!) who wants to learn about Home Education or just getting more from your time with your children. This is for anyone following any learning philosophy (even if you don't know you have one!) to swap sites, ideas, worries and thoughts. While we focus mainly on what we are doing with our children and sharing ideas, it is part of the group philosophy to happily discuss any issues affecting us and our small people, whether its is the impact of a new family baby to the difficulties home educating while childminding or other forms of work. It is worth making clear that this is a supportive environment that often veers from the sublime to the.. well.. just plain silly; it can be seriously on topic or very off topic depend on moon phase, the weather or a recent craze! So come along, be part of us and enjoy!

DS would've started this coming September, but I declined the place in the very good school here.

I will answer the last question first. When ds is older he will always have the choice as to whether to go to school or not. Tentatively I would say at the start of secondary school so he would be starting somewhere new along with the other children. But it depends how he grows and develops, he may want to go earlier. I would also have a sit down and talk before GCSE's start as to whether he wishes to follow his own way at home or wants those qualifications at school.

Was I always confident about my decision? Sort of. I did apply for school because I wasn't sure if I could do it. So in that time I made an effort and knew I could. So between now and September you can give it a go and see how things turn out.

If you want to chat more feel free to email me: 4initialcontact at googlemail dot com

I don't really want to go into more detail on here because it will then turn into yet another school v. home debate which I am uninterested in participating in.

DS would be starting reception in September...but we already knew we wanted to HE a couple of years ago so didn't bother applying for a school place for him. Of course I have had wobbles about it & will probably have more...but it's like any other parenting decision - what parent doesn't worry about whether they are doing the right thing

I know I'm not capable of teaching DS everything he needs to know....and as we are HEing autonomously I don't need to but I know there are limits to me knowledge/understanding & will need some help in explaining things to him....but we have good support from PILs & my parents & there are plenty of HE groups in the area for help & of course all the online groups as well. I personally feel that by letting him take the lead & support his learning with these resources he will get a wide range of experiences and a good education, personalised to his needs/wants

I've never had many problems with him being bored or under stimulated as he has led his playing/learning since he was a baby - we give him access to all areas of the house & make them safe so he can explore himself, choose what toys he wants to play with, explore etc & I play with him, talk to him, answer his questions. I will occasionally suggest things if he looks a little lost, go out for a walk round the village or accross the fields, round the local woods etc or just get out some paints & start doing a picture myself & he invariably joins in. ATM with this nice weather we have been doing lots of gardening & talking about plants etc. He's been planting a few seeds round at his Nanas as she has an allotment & I shall involve him in planting out our front & side garden ready for the village in bloom contest in July

I am quiet happy to carry this on for as long as he he is happy for. If he decides that he wnats to go to school either full or part time then I will support him...but would be perfectly happy if he was HE'd until he reached adulthood.

baffledandnervous,

You have posted on the HE forum Tell me what to do.
Therefore I assume you don't want someone to convince you to send your child to school, if that makes sense?

Your gut instincts are telling you that school is not right for your dd at the moment. Listen to it.

I felt that school was failing my dd, I took her out and it was the hardest decision I ever made.
Sleepless nights, complete panic and terror that I had done something so off the wall!
I thought I was insane and so did everybody else.
I think everybody thought i would come to my senses eventually and put dd back. She was happy in school, which was hard too.

However,
I wish I had known about it sooner and my dd had never been to school, my youngest certainly wont.
It has been a fantastic two years, we have achieved so much and made so many lovely friends.

I ask my dd now and again if she wants to go back to school and her answer is always, NO WAY!

Join EO and find your nearest HE group or families nearby, they have been an amazing support network for me.
There's also lots of HE Yahoo forums, both local and national.

Thanks for your replies, I am unsure about schooling tbh, I am very nervous although dd is really looking forward to it, she does go to pre school atm and loves it. The thing is I have made so many decisions already in her life that i do not think have been the right ones for her as I have never had the confidence to trust my instincts. I would never forgive myself if i sent her to school just because thats what people do and had not explored all the options. i walked up around her school at lunch time the other day and the noise and general bustle of all these incredibly big children seemed quite intimidating and the thought of my little girl getting lost in the middle of all that is frightening. I am sure that she would be fine but then I remember that I was not, I was miserable from the age of 5 until I left school, I then became a different person and regained all the confidence I had as a small child.
Thankyou for all the information I shall spend some time looking into it all.