Where to start with home Ed?

[Burpeelover]

Hi all,
My DD 11, started secondary school in September. She really isn’t enjoying it, struggles with friendship groups, shyness and seems very anxious. She is stuck to me like glue at home and seems to need constant reassurance. We have spoken about homeschool a lot, she is very set on the fact that she would like to start. I would like to give her to the end of this school year and start from September, mostly so I can be fully prepared for the transition when we start.
I am a single mum, running my own business and would be able to reduce my hours if I can find the extra staff.
I know I need to email the school to officially deregister, I’ve also read that the LA will contact me - what does this involve?
I am also looking for good online resources to help with her learning? Ideally courses, English, Maths, Science. Where would be the best place to go for this?

She enjoys cooking, does anyone else’s home ed children do external cooking courses, is this an option?

I know GCSE’s aren’t mandatory for her to do if home educated, but what would others advise? Would it be better to get them or not? I am struggling to see how she could go on to further education without them and would she be seen as different if she joined college at 16 and had been homeschooled.

https://www.educationotherwise.org/starting-out/

Education other wise is helpful

Surely withdrawing her from the regular society of peers with strengthen her shyness and cause confidence issues long-term?

I've known many home-schooled children, in my previous job, in the UK, France and the US, and all, without exception, were awkward around peers and, to varying degrees, over-familiar with adults. Their academic education was dramatically poor, in comparison to that provided by mainstream schools. They didn't seem content.

Thank you for pointing me in the direction of this website. I hadn’t even thought about what to do if her Dad doesn’t agree, which I’m sure he won’t!

I feel like she would be much happier in a home setting with me and I’ve been looking into homeschooling groups in my local area.
Being with her peers all day in that large group setting makes her uncomfortable, overwhelmed and stressed. I don’t want to see my child coming home from school crying everyday and anxious already about the next day.

I've come across a few home-educated students over the years. They're not all shy or behind! They do tend to be over-familiar with adults, but on the flip side, they're not scared of having a conversation with them, or looking adults in the eye!

Once you de-register her from school, give her a break. Let her find her own interests before exhausting her with academics. A lot of people on here seem to promote online curriculums and lessons, like Minerva Academy or King's Interhigh. Have a look around to see what works for you and your DD.

I would advise getting her to do her GCSEs before she goes to college, otherwise she will end up on a lower-level course that might not be suitable for her intellect.

Some colleges (e.g. agricultural ones) will run courses for home educated students, allowing them to get GCSE Maths and English, or vocational courses for students who can't be in regular schools for one reason or another. Depending on which area you're in, you might also find social groups for home ed students (e.g. forest schools or sports classes, like gymnastics).

As someone who would also have preferred to be home-educated over going to school, for the same reasons as your daughter, I wish you both well with her soon-to-be new academic journey!

I have found the opposite. Children forced into a situation who suffer from shyness and anxiety retreat more into themselves. I have seen the difference home education makes in regards to this, I have seen them flourish and grow in confidence as people aren’t forced on them. They’re not made to stay in a place that makes them so uncomfortable and unhappy. Children are more able to converse with a wider range of ages.

Just to add to my last post, children have more autonomy with their education and can study a wider array of subjects

My observations over the years suggested that children aren't introduced to the range of ideas and subjects that they are at school, so are limited to experiencing things and discovering as much about what they like.

Home Ed relies heavily on online learning, which is concerning. There is a significant lack of social interaction with a broad range of people; life skills (including key communication practices) are not learned as well; poor levels of resilience followed into adulthood and adversely affect mental health and levels of happiness; education is not delivered by subject specialists or expert educators; lines are blurred between parent and teacher, which is unhealthy for everyone.

I'm not anti-home ed for the hell of it - I was closely involved with many, many families, in several countries, over the years. At best the children had the opportunity to travel a lot during term time (in particularly wealthy families). At worst, there was a huge amount of stress and tension in the family; the children lacked key social skills are were severely disadvantaged educationally. I would say that the mental health of the children and the adults suffers, compared to those who are in state or mainstream independent schools.

You have some good points that are essentially flawed with many families who home educate. Perhaps you only have experience of those that haven’t explored home education and used it to its full potential. I have seen more harm done to children at school. I have seen more mental health problems in children who attend school, particularly those in secondary school. Many families have no choice but to home educate because of the way their children have suffered, how their education has faltered and failed because of the education system and lack of essential funding. Children with special needs not having those needs met and essentially being ignored. The education system is broken in many ways and the children are suffering because of it. Crime in schools being overlooked and not dealt with adequately, the list goes on. Schooling works for some children but not for all, the same with home education.

@Smorgasfjord

over-familiar with adults
What does that even mean? That children should be reserved and distant with adults, rather than being comfortable with them?

The confident, open manner with which home educated children chat with me is one of the things I most enjoy about associating with them. They seem to think we are both human beings who might have a normal conversation, who might both have opinions, who might help each other.

I was quite impressed when I first went along to a home ed group. I could not immediately find the entrance to the building (it was round the back), so I was wandering around looking a bit lost. A lad of about 12 approached me and asked if I needed help, showed me the way, and introduced me to one of the adults before returning to play with his mates. Later as I was leaving, I needed to reverse my car out into the road and couldn't see properly to do so, and another child about the same age offered to stand in the road to see me out. I was surprised that it occurred to them that I might need help and that they should help me. I wasn't used to that from children.

That isn't just a feature of home education; something similar happened when I was looking round schools to choose one. At two of the schools I visited, the kids avoided eye contact, and some even scuttled away as I approached with a staff member. It appeared that they thought adults were either irrelevant to their lives or perhaps even likely to tell them off or make them do unpleasant things. At the third school, the children talked to me confidently and helped me. It was apparent that they were accustomed to being treated respectfully by adults, and that they expected interactions to be positive.

I know GCSE’s aren’t mandatory for her to do if home educated, but what would others advise? Would it be better to get them or not? I am struggling to see how she could go on to further education without them

Most HE kids who are capable of GCSEs do some. They usually do fewer than schoolchildren do, often just the minimum to get onto the college course or into the career they want, which is typically five or six carefully chosen subjects. Most kids don't actually need more than that; schools insist they do more because that makes the school look better, and school timetables are too inflexible to accommodate kids changing their minds about which subjects they do. Schools use the "just in case" model. Home educated kids often spread their exams out over several years, which allows them to focus better and reduces stress. They can do exams at whatever age they want, so if they aren't ready to sit one at the age they originally planned to do it, they can push it back and do it later. So a bright, academically inclined child might do one exam at 13, one at 14, two at 15, and three at 16. A less academic child might do two at 16 and three at 17.

They can go to college without any GCSEs, and would be put onto a lower-level course, which might not be what they want. If they do not have English and maths GCSEs, they are required to work toward those alongside whichever course they are doing.

would she be seen as different if she joined college at 16 and had been homeschooled
I doubt the other young people would even know she had been home educated, unless she mentioned it to them.

Firstly: over-familiar means just that. Not confident, but strident, dominant and inappropriate. Put bluntly: irritating and unappealing. Could easily be misconstrued as immature, as it's similar to the way a small child feels the need to be the centre of attention.

Secondly: students at college might very easily notice a HE teenager because of the lack of shared cultural references and social skills.

To answer the actual question in the OP - a good place to look at would be the "HE Exams Wiki" (google to find this).

There is a provider for Food GCSE but it is one of the more awkward/expensive ones to do because it is so practical, so most Home Edders who want a Cookery "GCSE" instead do the NCFE Level 2 Cookery course provided by Technology Triumphs, which is entirely online and self-paced, they fill in booklets of coursework and send in evidence over 1-2 years but there is no final exam. NCFE is a Pass or Fail equivalent to "Level 4-9 at GCSE" (e.g.: equivalent to a 4) so if she wants to go to a particular college using it as a GCSE you need to check that they take it, but overwhelmingly they do - TT have stats saying 80-something% of students had it accepted and 12% are still too young to have applied.

The core subjects have a huge amount of options - the best thing to do might be to ask this on a Facebook group such as "Home Education UK Exams and Alternatives" or "Home Education UK", but for formal tuition there is a range starting from online 'school' and going down through group tuition, 1-2-1 tuition or recorded lessons (The £2 tuition hub, southwest science, outschool etc) to self-teaching using a workbook or textbook series (you can search for school textbooks on Amazon - KS3 or GCSE plus subject will get you a range from e.g.: Collins, AQA, Edexcel etc), popular workbooks series include CGP or dedicated subject specialists such as White Rose for maths.

1. There would be no need to not have shared cultural references with peers if they have attended clubs and activities outside the HE community consistently (scouts, sports, drama etc etc)

2. Please remember that in some cases (increasingly!) students are not Home Ed for 'lifestyle' reasons but due to unmet SEN and/or being targeted for bullying in mainstream school - so the awkward conversation and preference for adults might well have come before the home ed rather than being a result of it...

Have you been in any state secondary schools recently? My DD 11 is home educated because if the horrendous behaviour of other pupils (both private and state) which was causing anxiety. If you are pointing at some home ed students who were over familiar I dread to think what you would think in the average school.

It’s an enormous amount of work done properly (by which I mean if you actually want her educated not chillaxing). Yes she should do GCSEs and Alevels if she wants to go to university. Some are easier to achieve outside of school than others. Does she do any extracurriculars now?

Exactly so. I know a LOT of home educated teens. Most of them come across very similar to schooled teens, possibly a little calmer and more mature in the sense of not worrying about being picked on for wearing whatever clothes they like etc.

There are definitely some who are "strident, dominant and inappropriate" as @Smorgasfjord puts it, including many of my daughter's closest friends. Without exception, they are the kids with special needs. That is WHY they are being home educated! It isn't home education that made them that way. In England right now, the most common reason for children to be withdrawn from school for home education is unmet special needs.

My kids were both HE from the outset. The older one is, and always has been, very socially adept. My younger child is immature and doesn't pick up on social cues, because she has a learning disability. If she'd gone to school she would still be immature and struggle to pick up on social cues; the only difference is that she'd have been bullied for it and would lack confidence.

Join this group on fb, the < professionals > in the field and welcome

https://www.facebook.com/groups/hefa2021

( not going to share my story , but privately if you want)

this is the biggest lie ...wtf . If you have not experience in the field, don't be fast to ruin 100s of thousands of kids reputations

Dear OP, cross over into the group as fast as possible, once you are there you will see why mumsnet is not the place for home edders

My son was self taught at home from 13 onwards.
He passed all his GCSEs, and is now thriving at his local uni.
It can be done.all the information is online, he sat his exams at a local independent college.
Ignore all the rubbish about lack of socialising, he has his friends in local area, work and Uni as well as online. He worked a part time job from age 16, he is confident and articulate.
Do not listen to anyone who hasn't home schooled, they haven't got a clue.
His Uni loved the fact he had taken a different route, as well as his employers.

Just because she is ‘not really enjoying it’ and struggles with peer groups/ shyness doesn’t mean that she should leave school
maybe a change of school would help
have you both thought it through properly?
can you work and educate alongside each other, what if she point blank refuses
so many things to consider if you do de register her

This is absolutely not true.
My children are extremely sociable and confident. Never been to school. Leaving this environment she is obviously finding stressful won’t make her less sociable but if she is able to find social situations where she feels more comfortable her confidence will actually increase. So many groups to go to or maybe she will prefer 1:1 meets! 🙂