Home Ed no longer an option for us - how do we make the best of school?

[chocciebiccie]

We had pretty much decided to home educate DS (nearly four) - and then his dad and I separated last year. For financial reasons (I will need to work part-time) and sanity reasons (just the two of us - no siblings - could be a bit intense, even with family being local) DS is now going to go to school.

I don't like it already - and he hasn't started yet! The rules, the full-time-from-just-age-four business, the tests. However, it is a small, friendly village school and he already knows most of the children who will be in his class. The headteacher is quite progressive - open to flexi-schooling - so all is not lost.

I was really looking forward to home educating DS. How do we make the best of (possibly part-time) school, when we have more of a home ed mindset? Has anyone done flexi-schooling successfully? (We don't want DS to be singled out and picked on for this "difference".) Any other lone parents managing to home educate? How? Would HE really be a bad idea for DS with just Mum and no siblings? Sigh - so many questions.

TIA

I've heard of lots of single-parent one-child families who HE. I don't see any particular reason why it should be too intense, especially if you build up a good support network of other HEers.

As for work, I'd be brainstorming about ways you can combine work and HE, if you are not wanting to go down the school route just yet.

Off the top of my head, are there

kinds of work where you can work from home?
kinds of work where you can take a child to work with you and that would also be a good deal for them?
ways of working so that you could do a swopsie with another HE family, maybe, so you look after their children while their parent(s) work and vice versa
a job share with another HEing parent with the swopping childcare would make that even more straightforward
find ways of working while DS is with his father? Even if you aren't together any more, you may be able to do this between you. Maybe DS could be with him while you work?

I'm assuming none of these ideas will fit your circumstances, but they might stimulate you to think of some which do

there is a single parents HE yahoo group I think, though I don't know the link.

Funny, I often think of that but the other way round - so many of society's norms are dedicated to persuading children that the sooner they go to school the better, and that school is a wondrous wondrous place which they'll adore.

Must be an extra kick in the teeth for those who begin school and dislike it.

If the school conversation came up, I'd always advocate explaining to a child that some children go to school and some don't, and some like it and some don't, and if they want to try school that's fine, and if they don't like it, that's fine too, they don't have to go any more.

There are loads of single parents who home educate.
Would be tough-but not sure how much tougher it would be than sending a child to school if you don't buy into that ethos.

I'd join the Single Parents HE support list and talk to people on there. Most will recognise exactly what you are going through right now and you would be sure of a welcome and support there.

Thank you all.

Thanks, riven.

On the plus side, the headteacher of the village school is progressive and happy for DS to flexi-school providing we can organise it with the LEA: she is pro herself, and helpfully believes the starting age of four is too young, as do we.

I'd be interested to hear how you present the pros and cons of each (school versus home ed) to your sons. I realise they're older than my DS, but if you're happy to share what you see as the pluses and minuses, I can filter these for a four-year-old brain. I want to be fairly matter-of-fact and open about it.

DS enjoyed mixing with home ed kids when we were starting to get involved, however he hasn't questioned why he now goes to pre-school nor why he will go to big school; he seems fairly accepting, and I'm quietly enthusing about this route, in the hope he'll be positive too. But, as one poster said, I don't want to be making it out to be this wondrous place so that, should he not rate it, he won't feel it's something wrong with him for not enjoying it.

Thanks for tips.

PS Going away for a bit, so if I don't reply to any further posts for a while, am not being rude!

He might just love it, kids often do
I say go for it. And I do think that as a single parent with an only child, school is highly likely to be beneficial for both of you (I am single parent to an only child etc)

You seem to have a lovely school with a good Head. He will probably love it,at that age I wouldn't have wanted to flexi-school in case I missed anything! You have lots of time to do things outside school. I was a single parent, for a long time, with one child and school was beneficial for us both-he was at school for 30 hours a week and home for 138 hours a week (with more in holidays).