Will Home Ed recapture a love of learning?

[SaveFerris2016]

Hi!
A lot of posts on here are for students who are being home educated due to SEN reasons, bullying, failure to progress etc. I'm considering it for different reasons and was wondering if there was anyone else in the same boat?
My kids (primary school KS2) have always been very motivated and eager to learn; they're doing very well academically and are social and well liked...yet still ask to be homeschooled as they find their days uninspiring and repetitive. I don't want them to lose their creativity and love of learning and would be fine home educating from my end....but it feels like a huge decision and not one to take lightly if there's no major problem.

Anyone else in a similar position who could offer advice?

Thank you!

I think that if your kids find their days repetitive and uninspiring then there IS a ‘major problem’ - childhood is very, very short and if you have the means to make it better for them then go for it!

Mine have been HEd from the beginning, but in my experience observing friends, kids that are removed from school can take a while to unlearn the dependency on reward / praise and actually rediscover the delight of learning for its own sake, but it does happen in time.

So would you home school through secondary too? Because surely if you did not, the move to secondary would be even more difficult? And if you do - how will your child then manage in further education/an apprenticeship/the world of work? All of these can be uninspiring and repetitive as we all know. That is life.

This! I home Ed too and my able and keen 7 year old would find the hanging about while the teacher found 6 lost pencils and dealth with 4 missing books so demoralising. She just wants to get on.

It depends. I know lots of HE families (though never did it as couldn't afford to). Some of the parents were amazing. There dedication to education in all forms was brilliant. They put in a huge amount of effort ensuring their kids interests were followed. They gave them very rounded academic and non academic experiences and several of the kids are great. Loads of interests, amazing grades and on to university. Some of the less academic ones have gone into trades or have a Specialist interest that has led to a career/apprenticeships. Hats off to the parents.

Others have been awful to watch. Kids spending their time either at forest style school and then the rest of the time in front of screens. No GCSEs, or one or two but not enough to get a job. Hardly socialised outside the pretty homogeneous HE community. Now seem to just get stoned still living at home with no jobs and few social skills.

Done well it can be amazing but takes a lot of hard work and not for everyone.

Home ed meant my DC rekindled their love of learning yes. School truly knocked it out of them but years down the road they learn from a place of intrinsic motivation. It did take a while though as they associated learning with forced learning and being tested to death.

Mine were also fine in school, as in no SEND, socially fine and well liked. But they weren’t learning and had switched off to it completely.

The best thing for us has been that they can mostly learn about what interests them. They do some maths every day though as it’s one subject that I personally feel can’t be just picked up as easily as others later on. But we can get it done in 10-15 minutes as learning outside of a classroom is much more time efficient (I’m an ex teacher). Leaves so much more time for the things they love and can delve deeply into.

“the pretty homogeneous HE community.”

That may have been the case years back but I can assure you it isn’t today. EHE has grown exponentially in recent years and is as eclectic a group of families as school families now. Many of those families have been forced out of school too for various reasons and wouldn’t be classed as ‘philosophical home educators’ more reluctant home educators.

DEFINITELY homeschool. My daughter is a teen and associates learning with anxiety and bullying so shuts down. It’s been difficult to reignite the spark. She’ll be fine once she leaves school and starts learning in the real world but her negative experiences in school mean we have had to choose vocational training over academics

With all the stimulation in a school ( friends, equipment, subjects, teachers and expertise you can't offer at home - and imagine how much harder this will be at secondary level), imagine how hard it will be to keep them more inspired at home. Might be better to get a realistic picture of their ability and what actually they mean by repetitive: learning punctuation and repeated practice of foundational literacy and Maths skills are repetitive but necessary. Ask for more challenge at school; give them more projects and homework tasks; get them involved in out of school projects or find a more academically focused private school. Lots of HE kids struggle to get qualifications.

Once you've started down the school path, I think it can feel like you've made a commitment to that. Everybody in your social circle is doing the same, and if you talk to other parents who use the school system, their solutions will all be about working within the system to improve matters: talk to the teacher, keep them there but supplement their learning, wait and wait and wait for next term or next year or next school because it might get better. THAT is why it feels like a huge move to leave school, not because it really is. And that is why few parents in your situation will leave a tolerable situation for one which might be fantastic. That, and the fact that it's increasingly difficult for families to make ends meet without two full-time salaries.

Go along to a local home ed group or talk to home educators online (I see a few people have wandered onto this thread who don't speak from experience but are imagining how they think home ed would be) to get it from the horse's mouth.

TRYING home education is not a huge commitment or a big deal. You can do it for a few terms or a year to see what the effect is on your particular children, which is all that really matters. If it doesn't suit, send them back to school. They'll have explored a different way of learning and had a break from the tedium. They'll know you loved them and listened to them enough to do this big thing for them. If home ed is worse than school, they'll have a new appreciation for what school gives them.

This won't be straightforward if you have to leave a job you love in order to home educate, or if their school has no vacancies and you wouldn't consider any other local primaries if they can't get back in. In that case, it's a bigger decision. But if that doesn't apply, just give it a go. What do you have to lose? It might transform their lives for the better.

Tell me you know nothing about home education without telling me you know nothing about home education (and about how mind numbing school can be).

You clearly don’t know much about modern home education and how it works, that you can have all of these things and much much more outside of a classroom, sitting down at a desk all day?

Thanks guys - this has been really helpful.

To clarify a few points:

I totally get the whole "they can't just quit everytime they find something uninspiring - work can be uninspiring! life can be uninspiring!" argument. However, there is still some purpose to work - ie. you get paid. There's your motivation! Their problem at school is that they're never quite sure what they're getting out of it when so much of it is rehashing things they already know. For example, times tables. They have known their times tables for years - and can put said knowledge into practical moths - yet still seem to spend an inordinate amount of time losing the will to live by completing endless times tables worksheets.

I would want them to go to secondary school (if they get into a good one) and I think the more formalised structure will suit them better. I could be wrong but they are both highly motivated and so I don't think they'd suddenly refuse to go. They've never refused to go into primary school - they've just maturely and articulately expressed why they're not enjoying it!

I have every expectation that they'd go to uni - I certainly don't see them lazing around doing nothing but as a previous poster pointed out, childhood is extremely short and while they're ahead, I want them to be able to enjoy their days.

However...it does still feel like a big decision. Plus while there's a big home ed community nearby, a lot of them are....alternative (e.g. anti vax, very religious - which is very much not us!). If I could find like minded parents, it would probably be an easier decision!

Have you had recent experience of the "modern" school system??

You don't mention the bullying, illogical rules, etc.

If you've ever asked for "more challenge" you'll know that it's never forthcoming as the teachers want everyone at the same level as it's easier for them - they can't cope with outliers flying ahead of the rest of their class. My son was bored with Maths and we asked for harder work etc and the teacher just lazily told us to "google" for maths challenges and was very specific he didn't want him doing any "extra" work that they'd eventually get to in lessons - he told us to challenge him with "different" things, i.e. maths challenges, but didn't provide any resources nor give any recommendations etc.

The outliers at both ends of the scale are basically ignored in modern schools - all efforts are directed at the middle ground.

wrt the ‘alternative’ nature of home educators, if you spent any time on the WhatsApp / Facebook groups for my local area, you’d be forgiven for thinking the majority of the group are antivax / hyper-religious etc. In reality they are just a vocal, prolifically-posting minority.

I don’t know where you live, OP, but in my experience of home educating in three different parts of the UK, I have found ‘my people’ in time.

I agree. It can take time to find your people. Some of the in-person groups can end up dominated by certain types, so you might have to keep trying until you find people you like.

On the other hand, some of the larger groups in my area are genuinely very diverse and we all seem to rub along okay. It isn’t that different to what you might find at the school gates. I’ve learned to wander off and find someone else to chat with when John gets started on one of his conspiracy theories. I know Rachel will come with me to the Victorian farm but not to the dinosaur museum: it actually took me a minute to figure out what she might have against dinosaurs, till I remembered her sect takes the Bible literally. And then there was Jennifer, who was hothousing her five year old to win a private school scholarship by tutoring him for three hours a day, but he still had time to come play with the other kids in the park. It takes all types!

It can go wither way. Can also start to resent parents and home

Sorry if this is a stupid question - but is everyone who is home educating not working?? Or do you find a job that works alongside this?

Not a stupid question! My area is very mixed economically. I would say a significant minority of home ed families have a parent not working. Often they are people who wouldn't have been working anyway, for instance because the parent is disabled or retired or a carer. Some are independently wealthy or have a high-earning partner.

Most families where I live, all the adults in the household work, but usually one is only part time. Because the education side of things is so efficient with one-to-one attention, and doesn't have to be done at any particular time, that isn't hard to fit in. The challenge is childcare. In two-parent families they might work opposite shifts. Some people rely on grandparents to help out. Some have jobs which can be done with children around. It's also possible to use paid childcare such as a childminder or nanny.

When my eldest (then my only child) was 4/5/6 I used childminders while working part-time. It was a brilliant set-up for all of us. The CMs were also home educators (no school or nursery runs to fit in!), and they took my kid out to home ed groups and museums and so on. My sociable child loved having other big kids to play with. The CMs liked having a playmate for their kids, and a job which was compatible with home educating. I enjoyed having some time away from my child. I gave up work after the birth of my younger child, who was disabled. Now she's a teenager and my DH has retired, we might swap roles so I work and he looks after her.

Surely it depends on the individual child and the amount of motivation they have? My son sometimes used to ask to be home schooled and had no issues getting on at school. I think he just didn't really want the bother of the school routine. However, when he wasn't at school for any reason, he complained that he was bored and missed his friends.
I would never have home schooled him because he wouldn't have done any learning at home. The only thing he really wanted to do during primary was play football or play Xbox. I know of children who are really driven though, and they do fine at home.

The reason I suggest trying HE for a few terms at least is that it can take a while for both kids and parents to settle in to it. Some take to it like ducks to water and are loving it within a few weeks, but many need longer.

Kids who are used to having all their time structured for them at school can flounder a bit when they have a lot of free time. These tend to be the same kids who moan about boredom in the school holidays. Eventually they figure out what they enjoy doing and become more productive, but it can definitely take months to work through the boredom, which is why some parents of schoolchildren never see the other side of their child: six weeks may not be long enough.

Parents also get anxious about their children's "performance": are they making enough progress? Why does their reading seem to have stalled? What if they flatly refuse to write? School requires that kids work at a uniform rate on all subjects so as to benefit from mass instruction. The model doesn't work if some children learn to read at nine or have no interest in addition until they're ten. Home educated kids who have the option of going at their own pace tend to learn different subjects at different rates and may be "ahead" of their schooled peers in some and "behind" in others. It doesn't matter. They get there in the end. It takes a while for parents to let go of school-based expectations and start looking to their own child. Over the course of time, you'll observe that your child does try things and does make progress, just not at the rate you dictate.

For example, in home ed circles tales abound of children going from zero to Harry Potter in six months in terms of reading. That wasn't my experience, but I've seen it. My own older child learned most of their times tables gradually as the need arose, only getting around to learning the last few facts in the run-up to GCSE. That wasn't an issue, as their mathematical understanding had evolved well through daily life. so it was a matter of just filling in some gaps and learning some terminology. They got a very decent mark after less than a year of formal mathematical study, never having done any "sit-down" maths in the preceding years.

When you see this sort of pattern in your own children and their older acquaintances, you start to relax about it.

Seriously, of all the things I learned at school, the most valuable have been how to cope with uncongenial circumstances, how to get along with people I don't particularly like and how to cope with being bored. Priceless in terms of the resilience it's given me.

I doubt that your child wasn't motivated to learn. Humans have a strong drive to learn. Insofar as a given subject (reading or learning to drive, say) is actually important in their culture, they will eventually recognise its importance and want to do it. But they aren't always motivated to learn what you tell them to learn when you tell them to do it.

Probably he only wanted to play football and go on his Xbox because he was tired from school and didn't have enough free time to discover other interests. Many kids don't find the six weeks of school holidays long enough to work through the process of finding what they love and getting motivated to work toward it.

I wouldn't describe either of my kids as particularly driven, but they did see what needed to be done and get it done in their own time.

We took our DS out of state primary before SATs.

We knew we were sending him to private school from Year 7 so SATs were not relevant.

Honestly, he was burnt out, not sleeping and deeply miserable. He loved learning but was in such a large disruptive class it was virtually impossible to focus. He was very unhappy and we could see him turning away from learning, which was really sad to see as he was and is very bright and loves maths.

So we took the decision to take him out, home school him and then send him to private school.

He did online maths, English and science (20 mins each subject a day building up to 30 mins) and a topic that we researched together. He also did outside activities such as orienteering climbing and swimming. For social interaction he went to youth club. Honestly he became a different child. Slept better, ate better and started putting on weight. He became interested in learning again.

There are plenty of online learning resources that match the national curriculum so they won't miss out. Plus, online learning is more focused and he could really concentrate on taking in the information rather than trying to drown out noise. It's helped him to consolidate information he didn't get thr first time round in school.

It's been a positive experience for us and really is becoming much more accessible.

It's actually easier because you can do more easily plan it "school work" around your own working patterns. It doesn't need to be the 9-3 school day. You could do just as much work in say the morning or the afternoon, or even spread it 2/3 hours a day over 7 days instead of 5. And, of course, it doesn't have to be "formal" sit down learning, so it could be a family day out to look at a couple of museums in your closest city. You have to realise that you're not sitting down with the child for the same 5-6 hours per day as they'd be stuck in a school. The actual "studying" time in a school could be half of that when you factor in all the assemblies, breaks, disruption time, cover/supply teachers just "supervising" rather than teaching, and sports/drama/arts that could be done via clubs in an evening or weekend rather than within the school day.

Which is OK if it wasn't so bad that you still got the qualifications you were capable of, so that it didn't jeopardise your future.

Completely different when the bullying/disruption etc is so bad that you under-achieve and end up not getting the qualifications you could have done!

No problem with a bit of bullying or disruption that can indeed be character building in how to cope with it, but when it becomes extreme, it can actually damage your future, which is not acceptable!