Help I am panicking

[redshoes]

I have just emailed the de-reg letter to my dd's school (printer not working!) and joined EO online. Does anyone know how long it will take for EO to be in touch? I suddenly feel very alone, and my younger daughter has chosen to stay at school so I will have to face a barrage of questions from parents at pick-up. Is anyone here in Brighton & Hove by any chance?? My dd is nearly 8. She just hated the meanness of the girls and felt picked on. She's not interested in being bitchy. Sure it's right for her - but what now?!

Don't panic!!
i got tons of support from here when we recently dereged, Julieonshoes is very supportive and has loads of info...also if you look on EO website there is an email list of local reps, l just had a quick look and there are a few for your area.
Best wishes

I think EO can take a little while to send out your welcome info, as they are obviously volunteers rather than having a fulltime manned office.

But in the meantime there are plenty of people on here who can answer any questions and reassure you, so don't worry. I guess it's likely that parents will want to know about it, they're a very nosy lot in general and most will have no experience of HE so you'll keep having to say the same things, but if you just tell them that school wasn't suiting your daughter then tey will get used to the idea in time.

Is there anything particular bothering you, or is it just that it all seems like a very big step? I HE my 14 year old, and it seemed a big decision at first but there's loads of help and support around if you just let us know what we can do...

Brighton!

How wonderful-there are loads of home educators in Brighton!
My daughter has a whole bunch HE friends down there.

Have a look on the 'How to find other Home Educators thread' here and click on the links for local groups, both sites have links for East Sussex-and if you ask those contacts will soon put you in touch with Brighton Home Educators.

I have just had a look in my EO contact list and there are plenty of Brighton people willing to be contacted in there.
It may take a little while for EO stuff to arrive-there is only one lady dealing with it and it depends on her commitments. I know they say it can take up to two weeks but she tells me she tries to do it quicker.

In the meantime I am sure you have had a good look around the main HE websites
EO
and HE-UK

but have you found Home Education in the UK?
and especially Muddle Puddle? 'Muddle Puddle' is a webpage especially for HE families with children under 8 years old. Home also to the years support list

And then there is the blog Greenhouse by the Sea
tells of life for a Brighton home ed family, that I like a lot.

But you know what I'd do?
Ask your daughter what she would love to do with you right now-and do it!

One of the best bits of home ed is being able to walk on the beach in the sunshine and to build snow men when it snows.
We have been walking our dog a lot and noticing the signs of spring all around us ........and there is a new bird in our garden and we are trying to identify it.......and we want to get the kayaks out and go off down the river .....and and and.

The world is your classroom now!

Sorry this is the link to the Early years Support List

Thanks for the messages - I have calmed down a bit now! My dd is so, so happy to not be in school I am certain I am doing the right thing, although I know we will be judged at the schoolgates. I couldn't find any Brighton link on the EO site (might be being a bit dim here?) just Worthing and Eastbourne. I know there are lots of HEers here as I googled and found HEDline, a campaign group for HE based in Brighton. I guess I can contact them too. Julie, your message is very inspiring - that's how I see it panning out! Thank you again.

AMumInScotland, thanks for your message, I am mostly worried about having to justify myself to the other mums without sounding negative about the school, which is a very hard-to-get-into-outstanding-beacon etc etc school with parents to match. I was reading 'One-to-one' by Gareth Lewis last night and chuckling at him pointing out that these are the very people (educated, motivated, wealthy) whose children could most benefit from being HEd and free up school places for under-privileged kids...don't think those yummymummies are ready to hear that!!

Well, if your other daughter is still at the school, that should make it clear to the other parents that you're not criticising the school as a whole. I'd be tempted to explain in terms of "we feel it will be better for DD" or "it will let DD concentrate on X" rather than criticising the other girls or the school's handling of the situation. That can be tricky when you actually feel that was the problem though!

Often the problem with other people when you tell them you HE is that they hear "my choice is better than yours" no matter how you word it, because parents spend so much of the time feeling guilty and defensive about every choice they make. They are all probably feeling fairly confident about having got their child into such a wonderful school and if you seem to be saying it's not so great after all, they'll struggle with the idea. So, as I say, I'd make it about your DD and not about the school, as they will then be able to think "her child is different from my child, so it's ok for her to make a different choice".

Hope that helps!

Yes you could contact HEDline-or the contacts in Eastborne or Worthing-I think they would pass the details of the Brighton bunch to you.
That is what I would do.

I can always pass folks on to groups near here, you get to know about them when you have been around a while.

I agree with AMum-I'd say that school simply didn't work for that daughter-all children are different and your other daughter is happy in school.
Smiling and seeming confident in your choice, helps a lot in my experience!

I just want to say hallo and offer positive thoughts re pickup time this afternoon.

Is there any mum/dad/grandparent/aupair in particular you know you could go and stand next to for moral support?

Thanks again. Very good advice AMum - that's how I'll play it. It was ok today, but I managed to leg it before the juniors came out! So I won't have to speak to them until Monday! Almost wish my 5 yrold dd was keen to be HE - would make my life simpler!

Hello milou2, thanks for the positive vibes

You never know - once she sees what you are doing she may want to join in...

I'm not in quite the same position as you but am just about to (read plucking up the courage to...) send in a slip declining my child's place in reception in our local primary, as we have decided to HE him. I'm also dreading the questions from the other Mums who have children starting in Sept. They are assuming my ds will be too. It will be easier for me to avoid them of course(!), as I haven't got another child at the school, but on the other hand I don't really want to do that as I'd still like ds to make friends with other children in the village. Will also take tips from the other posters about smiling, being confident and saying it's what we think is right for him.
Wishing you all the best, I've found the HE community very friendly in my brief experience.

Hi Jollydo, I'm still waiting to meet anyone in the HE community! But, I am really enjoying having my dd home and seeing her so happy and relaxed. Will your ds meet the other kids at out-of-school clubs? Once I had told the first few mums, it got surprisingly easy. Good luck

Hi again. Now I've sent it!! At least I can now tell anyone who asks that he ISN'T going to school in Sept rather than that we're thinking about it. It somehow feels as though now no-one can try to change our minds I can say more confidently that it is what we've decided. Glad it got easier for you, I expect that it will once I get used to saying it and used to the inevitable questions... did you get asked lots?
My ds does go to a football club - at the moment it's one that parents stay at as he's only just 4, but as he gets older and maybe goes by himself to that sort of thing, hopefully he'll meet others that way. Also we're lucky in that there are a few other children on our road who he already plays with a bit - one just next door - so I'm hoping those friendships will develop as well as some with people we meet at HE activities.
Hope it's still going well