Judge threatening supervision order if I don’t send my child to school

[Dandelionroses]

I desperately need any help or advice. My situation is a little bit complex my nine-year-old son has been at school for three years and I have recently pulled him out of school and switched to homeschooling.
I done this on various different factors due to his health condition that would affect his attendance at school and that he seems to be learning 100 times better with one to one attention when learning. I currently have a child contact arrangement order being disputed at court due to my violent ex-husband and his solicitors have been criticising my parenting which then led to a interview with Cafcass and an S37 report to be conducted by Social Services. during these both reports my son was still at school and the concerns that the Social Serv brought up was the attendance at school however concerns of welfare or safety. After much consideration and lack of support from the school I then took the decision to take my son out of school and switch him to homeschooling as he has demonstrated in the past that he learns better on one-to-one learning. At my last hearing, the judge had criticised the S37 report and had questioned the Social Serv worker that why isn’t my son on a Child Protection order and why isn’t my son on any type of child in need plan and why isn’t my son on any type of supervision order. The judges claims are all based upon my sons attendance at school. There are no factors that could suggest that my son is in any type of neglect nor is his safety or welfare at harms way. I am now at a crossroads where I desperately need advice. I don’t want to send my son back to school as I can see him thriving in the settings of homeschooling. I now feel with the threats of a supervision order from the judge, that if I don’t send my son back to school, the judge could put a supervision order on me and my son, which would lead to my son being taken away from me.
Anyone that has gone through any type of similar situation, please any type of advice from your own experience would be appreciated.

Well I wouldn't have started home school during a contact arrangements order that was daft but what is done is done.

Why have you not just presented the judge with a letter from your Doctor detailing his medical conditions and his limitations and any DLA or other relevent paperwork to support your need to home ed?

And the doctor needs to be any specialist your son sees or has seen not your GP otherwise the Court will not take you seriously.

This sounds hugely stressful I'm sorry you're going through it.

You need to specify which country you're in as the rules are slightly different in each of the home nations.

Do you have a solicitor?
Have you contacted Education Otherwise or a more local to you version?
IME whilst MN has some amazing HE posters the bulk of the site is quite opposed so this may not be the best place for advice.

My first thought is to check that you have taken him out of school correctly (for where you are) so he is not currently being marked as absent from school.

Not entirely relevant but I have a friend who had her 4 kids HE & her abusive exH took her to court to get them back in school, it was awful took months & cost a fortune but they were mostly saved by the older children being able to speak to the court themselves to explain why they didn't see their father & why they wanted to stay HE. This was in Scotland.

I hope you are getting legal advice as there us s lot going on here. Also just to reassure, a Supervison Order does not involve removal of children.

I think you probably need some decent legal advice.

Unfortunately once your children are in the family court system you just don't have the same freedom to make decisions about them (that's not a judgement on you, it's just the reality sadly)

If I was looking at you with a critical eye, I’d be suspicious of why you pulled them out of school baring in mind the allegations against you. It comes across as possibly isolating the child from outside contact due to the timing. Ultimately if this is what your son wants, he’s old enough to say.

I would have thought that the courts would want your child back in school for safeguarding reasons. If your ex husband is violent then straight away they will want him no locked away where noone sees possible bruises are issues.
Why has he only been in school 3 years? Why was he not in school reception, year 1 and 2? He's the same age as my child so I know he should have had more schooling than just 3 years.
Like someone else said tho. With homeschooling you do need to go through the right procedure. You can't just say, he's getting home schooled and often they want evidence to make sure that you are teaching him.

This is trying to be helpful, so hope you find it so, but just so you know, my job is in 2 primary schools and a lot of focus on attendance.
So without being critical to you, these are my thoughts from your post.

Why has a 9 yr old only been in school for 3 years? (Covid???)
You mentioned attendance a couple of times in your OP. What was your child's attendance before you decided to HS?
Why has your ex's violence never been a consideration?
Did the judge say why he thought you should be on cp or cin?
How much time does/has ex spent with your child?

You really don't have to answer any of those to me or on here, but I suspect if you have answers to those questions, it will help you.

Also, just as a btw thing, absence/non attendance at school is considered a massive - mahoosive - safeguarding red flag.
I can go into detail as to why if that helps. But - trust me - it's much easier to maltreat a child who doesn't go to school and the judiciary will be aware of this
That might be a good reason why you're being questioned

He is currently still under diagnosis. He has had this stomach chronic condition since he was born. I’m due to submit evidence about his condition but the diagnosis is still on going so there is no conclusive diagnosis as yet

I’m in the United Kingdom. I do have legal representation. I have informed the school and he has been registered as home schooled but it’s the previous attendance that the court is questioning

I have researched what a supervision order is. And I keep finding that it is where the take your child, befriend and assist. Please correct me if I’m wrong

Due to Covid he attended from year 2. Prior to Covid he was in school for a short period in 2019 but we moved and than Covid happened. So he attended school from yr2.
the violence from my ex husband was during 2015-2019. So many years ago now.

I understand the safeguarding element, but I am part of homeschooling groups, I have tutors and timetables in place.
other than my sons health condition, my son was part of SEN and I asked the school to do a dyslexia assessment and they refused as they said he’s able to learn another language through private tutoring so he can’t have dyslexia. During the past week I have just come to grasp that the school didn’t offer any support in line with the guidelines of SEN. Such as an EHPC plan was never offered and many other services that were available they didn’t not offer.

A supervision order doesn't remove the child, it means the caregiver has to ensure they meet some criteria, presumably in your case sending your child to school.

https://childlawadvice.org.uk/information-pages/supervision-orders/#:~:text=What%20is%20a%20Supervision%20Order,place%20at%20a%20set%20time.

His attendance was at 70% but this was due to a health condition he has had since birth. Which comes and goes and is still under diagnosis.
my ex husband was found guilty for the violence against me through a fact finding hearing.
the current child contact arrangement order has been going on for 3 years now. And he doesn’t see my son at all but is allowed indirect contact of monthly letters.
the judge wants to put a child supervision order because he is homeschooled now and the basis of his attendance before.
the judge is now questioning the social worker who done a s37 report into why didn’t she put my son on a child protection register, why wasn’t a child in need plan put forward, why wasn’t there a supervision order put in place and why was I allowed to put my son in homeschooling.
the social worker done a full assessment before when doing the s37 report and she didn’t have any issues but it’s the judge who is questioning her decision.

I am now at a crossroad where my son doesn’t want to go to school and is happy being homeschooled. However if I don’t put my son back into school I have been advised by my legal representative that the judge will most likely put a supervision order.

My mum was a teacher for thirty years.
The parents who homeschooled their children did so for religious reasons.
And honestly, OP, the kids missed out so much because they couldn’t interact with their peers and their education suffered because their parents skipped over so many important lessons.
Make sure you teach your son a wide variety of subjects.
And make sure he gets to see his friends.

He misses out on more being the "sick kid" my son has stomach issues spent a lot of year 8 at home sobbing or in hospital at the Dr's etc he has really struggled to maintain friendships

Send your child back to school - if he has special needs then they will need to address them. You are hugely disadvantaging your child and I can understand the judge getting involved as he’s already had a rough start.
It is important to show that you are working with everyone involved to the benefit of your child; this is a safeguarding issue.

Befriend and assist, yes. But not taking your child.

"Purpose
The order is usually put in place to allow a child to stay at home, while still being supervised by social services"

Did he suffer his stomach issues whilst present in his last school? As in physically there not just registered there.

Fair or not, on the face of it, it appears you are isolating him whilst there is a family court situation ongoing on the basis of some health condition that no medical professional has been able to diagnose in 9 years.

I can see why they want him to have more oversight and intervention from professionals. Maybe you should just play the game and send him back to school.

Your childs pattern of attendance would worry me too. You moved him not long after he started school - lots of people move children to get away from oversight.
You then say he did not attend til year 2. Schools were only closed for 2 terms, they were open for all kids in september 2020 so he could have been in school at points but you chose not to send him - thats a red flag.
70% attendance for a child with a 'condition' nobody has managed to diagnose is very very low. Its 2 days missed from school most weeks. Its a typical pattern for a child being abused then kept off school.
You need to put your child back in school.

Have you actually got legal advice? Because your understanding of the potential orders is muddled. A supervision order wouldn't remove your child or force you to send them to school. I'm wary of commenting on the section 37 because they are only ordered where there are welfare concerns and school attendance by itself is not a welfare concern. You need to talk to your solicitor and get some help to understand the legal implications of everything. Not seek advice on mumsnet over legal issues.

Schools don't tend to look into most SEND like dyslexia until the child is 8 or 9 because all children learn at a different pace and their struggles could be natural and just require time to build skills and overcome them

Assessment requires the child to be at school and is also costly so I am unsurprised that they didn't start to put anything in place because it is quite possible he has no SEND but is just out of school so much that he is missing all the content to develop and practise his skills.

The pattern of non-attendance coupled with a mystery illness that hasn't been diagnosed in 9 years is concerning, alongside him having undiagnosed or unobserved SEND and being a witness / victim of DV. He has a mother who has experienced violence and trauma who doesn't send him to school regularly. The judge is right to be concerned whether or not you have the best intentions at heart you've gone about this in the wrong way. It is the judges responsibility to keep children safe and your son may well be but he doesn't know that yet and there are many child in similar circumstances that are not.

Seek proper legal advice

OP apologies if this comes across the wrong way but I am stepping back and putting my safeguarding hat whilst writing this.

First of all your sons attendance is really poor with no diagnosed medical condition which in itself maybe a concern but due to the NHS wait times not a huge one especially if staff saw him in pain.

He was of school a lot longer than he should have been during COVID from reading your post. This is a red flag.

He was moved schools so may have been taken of the radar as the previous school were raising concern. This is a significant factor and could be considered to be red flag.

Social work raised safeguarding and welfare concerns for your son whilst your son was at school. School is considered a safety factor for a child because staff are watching children for signs of abuse or neglect. Your response as far as the judge can see is to remove your son from school to home educate and in doing so removing that safety factor from a child who has already been highlighted as at risk. This is a huge red flag.

Home education -From the judges viewpoint your son was already an at risk child as SW reported this to him/her and your response is to isolate your son by HE him. It is well documented that some parents have taken out their kids from school stating they are HE them so they can neglect and abuse them undetected. These parents know because there is no school staff monitoring there child they can get away with the abuse. This is the biggest red flag yet and one the judge is clearly concerned about.

Personally I would recommend you get your son back in school but speak to social work and the judge and explain the school were not supporting him. Ask if they can get the school to help him properly. I am actually quite surprised reading all this that your son wasn't put on a child protection order. I think the SW has messed up and the judge knows it

EHCP's aren't offered, they are issued as a necessity after a child has usually gone through a long diagnostic process.

You may feel you are doing the best for your ds but looking in from the outside, it could look like you are trying to "hide" him.
His attendance is extremely poor, he has a mystery illness undiagnosed for 9 years, you have moved areas and now are homeschooling him.
It's like one massive red flag 🤷🏻‍♀️

It's good that you have legal advice. I would strongly encourage you to get specialist legal advice related to home education, as many solicitors are not experienced in the subject. You can start by joining the Facebook group "Home Education and your Local Authority: Help with dealing with officialdom".

The main admin there is a terrifically knowledgeable and helpful retired solicitor who knows all the ins and outs of home ed law and is also aware of the complications where Social Care is involved. If you don't use Facebook, try ringing the Education Otherwise helpline. She is very unlikely to be the one who answers the phone when you call, but they can arrange for her to talk to you. I expect she will either give you detailed advice herself or else check whether your solicitor has the right background and if not, put you in touch with one who does.