Help to motivate teen

[lovemyboyz247]

I have recently been helping out a friend and her family through a difficult time.

Her son got 3 D's for A levels and chose to retake two using.a distant learning platform so he can spend.more time at home to give him some flexibility.

He was determined at the start of the course ti get two A's and I helped him find the course, the platform and helped him entol so all positive a couple of weeks ago.

I spoke to my friend today and she's asked me to go there this weekend and speak to her son as he seems really lost with creating a routine and she said she doesn't think he's working hard enough to complete his course and she's worried if he carries on like this then he's going to fail.

Amy advice on what I can say or suggest to get him on track? How do you try and motivate a student studying at home?

distant learning for a . student who got 3 Ds…. was not sensible and certainly not one hoping to go from 3 ds to 3 As

as for what your visit can do to motivate him? very little

he needs to enroll in a college

not what you want to hear. but the truth

I understand that and I did suggest that, however the family have experienced some problems in the past few months which has really unsettled them.

This was seen as an alternative to the boy going to college as it gave him some flexibility. The mum has not been able to support him like she has in the past due to trauma so I have been helping out when I can.

I can't really suggest going to college as they have paid the distant learning platforms so need to continue along this route for now.

Just need some advice as to how to get him on track so he doesn't to his problems

If he's falling behind, not submitting assignments on time etc, he'll likely lose his motivation even more. Perhaps going through his workload and tackling it in manageable chunks, so he sees he's making progress might help.

If he's got legitimate reasons for struggling, he should be able to get an extension for an assignment/s, but he'd have to have a realistic plan for catching up for it to be of any benefit.

I agree with the PP it's not going to work unfortunately. If he's already lacking motivation after just a few weeks then it's likely to only get worse.

I can't really suggest going to college as they have paid the distant learning platforms so need to continue along this route for now.

This is the sunken cost fallacy. This money is spent regardless. It being spent doesn't mean you shouldn't suggest changing strategies and going to a college.

The fact is this kid is unlikely to achieve better grades at home self studying so surely it's better to write the money off and go to a college where he might improve his grades than stay at home, still waste the money and a year studying and not achieve improved grades.

Why would he listen to you? I also think he needs to re do his A Levels at a college or do an apprenticeship. Maybe he could do completely different subjects.

Thank you for your advice.

I know it sounds like he won't listen to me, but I have been friends with his mum for many years and he's more like a family member than just my friend's son.

I just want him to have the belief that if he's committed to it (which he seemed to be) then he can give it a good go.

I agree about going through his work load and breaking it down with him so it seems more manageable.

op

he got 3 Ds

and he’s hoping for 3 As doing it himself

the way you can help him is to basically gently guide him to realise that this is not going to work

the fact they’ve paid for the course is irrelevant because to stick at it will be a complete waste of time

he was offered an apprenticeship. He should pursue that. and in the meantime, get a job, any job, for structure to his life

don’t go there thinking you’re going to be able to motivate him

Your idea of breaking it all down for him will be a massive help. Also sitting with him and creating a sensible timetable.

I work with a lot of young people struggling with similar and to get them back on track or started I will get them spending 5-10 mins writing the to do list of what needs to be factored, then spending 30 mins of guilt free fun/chilled time. Then doing another 5-10 minutes. Rinse repeat and slowly increase the time if able to. Even if the time away from working is 1 hour vs even 5 minutes of work is still 5 minutes of work that you wouldn't have done otherwise and you're not beating yourself up over not doing anything.

It does sound like he may of bitten off more than he can chew so looking at setting a realistic goal for him would help remove that all or nothing mindset. It might be his way of learning is not compatible with online and something like an apprenticeship is better. It's ok to decide if something is not for you and moving on to do or try the next thing.

Al you can do is try and give him the tools. Hope it all goes well xx