When did you know it was time to Home educate? What was the sign?

[Newsenmum]

I’d be really interested to know when you knew it was time.

When I thought we were both going to break with the stress of trying to get her to school! This was year 8. It was a brilliant decision and she did go back a year and a half later.

Poor thing. I’m so glad she was able to have some time out.

Ditto in year 8 the mental health breakdown forced it. A year later our dd is thriving so much more out of the system.

Do you feel like there were any signs that looking back would make you do it earlier?

When my dd was in complete physical
and autistic burnout. It became so detrimental to her health it was life threatening and we had to de register a few weeks into secondary school. It took her 6 months to physically recover.

Yes and no. DD didn't want to be home educated initially although I offered it to her as an option, and it was really difficult for me as a lone parent and a small business owner, so it was very much a last resort. In fact when she finally said she wanted to be home educated my first thought was "shit, I didn't really mean it" 😂. How old is your DC?

That sounds so immensely difficult. It’s amazing you were able to do it! Only 5. I’m trialling mainstream atm but he’s autistic and already overwhelmed with panic and nightmares.

When we saw her in nursery a couple times and met her key person and saw how much she was struggling and realised the extent of her burn out. She was 3.5. She's 5.5 and I'm finally happy to says she's recovered.

Yep autistic DD just about coped during primary until she didn’t then scraped through year 7 with a very accommodating secondary until hit burnout and now following a different path of education but is recovering well growing amazingly with self directed learning and some tutoring.
However in contrast my nephew struggles hugely in primary (also autistic) and had constant TA support but has just left mainstream secondary with 9 GCSEs all god grades and gone on to do ALs at college. He coped better as he got more autonomy over his education.

Do have a read of Dr Naomi Fishers thoughts on a “different way to learn” she talks a lot of sense if you have a child that doesn’t fit in a square box.

I’ll Google her thanks.

We decided to home ed right from the beginning (none of my three have been to nursery) as DD1 was quite anxious as a small child. Turns out she's autistic, and definitely not school-shaped.

If the kids want to go to school at any point they can, but I am fairly certain DD1 won't. DD2 might at some point (she's 10); DD3 is also unlikely.

how do you get time to yourself not go crazy ?

Crazy to begin with so that helps.

DH takes over when he gets home (always has done).

Thankfully all the girls are bookworms, so if they've got good books in the house I do get some quiet time.

There was a very obvious point for me and it was in response to major safeguarding failings by the headteacher at my dd's primary school. However, the situation, prior to this was way below par on the friendship front (to put it mildly). I should have removed my daughter earlier but I still had the hangover from homeschooling in lock down. I soon realised that Home Ed was so much richer and, locally, there was a lot going on

I would have done it at least 2 years earlier, if not 3/4 had I known I was able to. I had no idea what home ed entailed and thought I had to follow the curriculum and put my kids forward for exams. I didn't feel confident enough to teach that. As it happens there is no way she would be able to sit an exam so I took her out of school and we now have the most relaxed child we have had in years. Of course we have disabilities to navigate, but there was bog all help in school anyway

So much of these PPs resonate with me. I had been thinking about it for a year, but it took DH a long time to come round to it. He had to quit his job to manage the home ed, so it really needed him on board. We had several years of school refusal and panic attacks, I had two break downs, I had lost tens of thousands in income (self-employed) due to it. It was finally when DD (autistic, 9) had reached full burn out and had a 2am mental health crisis that DH agreed we couldn't go on. I cried on the spot with relief. We are now three months on from that decision, she's still in iPad recovery and we are all so so much happier so far.

My eldest DD (now 7) has some joint/mobility challenges. Before she attended school I applied for an EHCP for her which she was given, the school were either unwilling or unable to support her as they should have.

On her 5th birthday when she was in reception she broke her wrist at school in an incident I feel the school should have avoided. She was struggling before that and having meltdowns and violent outbursts (She was later diagnosed with ASD/PDA).

She wasn't a naughty child. She's bright, but the school didn't stimulate her nor did they make the appropriate adjustments for her disability.

The night she broke her wrist I de-registered her along with my older DS (now 8) and it was the best decision I've ever made for them.

My younger two children have never and will never attend a school (both are below CSA at the moment anyway).

I've since left my career so that I can be with the children full time both to support my DD with her disabilities and so that I can manage my children's home education.