Please help - I'm about to take my daughter out of school and home school her... but I'm totally new to this.

[Ginismedicinal]

What do I say to her school? How do I word the email informing them? She's 14 and would be going into year 10 in September. School has let her down repeatedly. Her mental health has declined enormously, I've had enough, so I'm doing whatever I need to do. I'm nervous though - I've no idea what I'm doing. Any advice or help would be much appreciated 🙏

I took my 13 year old out for the same reasons this year, you need to write a email to the headteacher saying your plans to homeschool your child from what date and the reason for you taking her out of school, i looked online for a template of a letter, i had a call after trying to see if there was more they could do to help before she was taken out but I said no we’ve made our decision and it’s the best one for her. They will then send the form to the council to say she’s been deregistered from school to be home schooled and they will email you a form to fill out basically details of how you plan to homeschool your child, because metal health is involved I stated that I will be doing math English and science but will be spending the rest of the time helping her with her mental health and that’s it, I couldn’t believe how easy it was but definitely the right option for her, the only problem I have is because she’s not at school any more she’s grown apart from her friends which is sad but it’s definitely saved her and her mind even though it’s still a working progress to get her back to herself

Also so she keeps to working at the right level we’ve been buying the hp work books for each subject in her year group, these have been really good

Wow, how terribly unhelpful! I'm sure OP can Google but that could be said for any thread started on here. Perhaps she is looking for support and reassurance from mum's who have been through it (I heard a rumour that's actually what mumsnet is for).

There should be specific guidance on your council website. It will include or be based around the DfE document which sets out expectations.

https://www.gov.uk/home-education

It’s true though. Teachers take years to become qualified so when someone posts that they’re planning to home educate but have no idea what they’re doing, it’s a bit worrying.
I don’t doubt for a second that this parent is looking to do the absolute best for her child but it’s true that if she doesn’t know how to word the email how is she also going to home educate which requires such huge levels of organisation and dedication.

I’m not surprised you’re nervous. She’s going in to Year 10, it’s not going to be easy. It’s like me saying ‘as of Monday I’m going to be an electrician and rewire the house myself’. How are you going to teach her GCSE maths? Biology? Christ I’d have no idea. I’m a professional and reasonably intelligent but I’m not a teacher. Last night my husband and I had a heated debate about our 8 year olds maths homework, it was hard, and nothing like the way we worked things out when we were in school. I wouldn’t worry about emailing the school, if I felt that strongly that I was removing her, I’d be keen to get everything off my chest, but I would be very concerned. Can you not move schools? Pay for her to go private for the last two years? Speak to the head? Are you giving up your job?

I would really re think this. She’s going into the most important school years and this could have a huge knock on effect to her education and future.

get a meeting with the head teacher and see what plan you could come up with to keep her happy and in school. Being able to take her break times in a safe space, having one on one meetings each day with a safe person she can offload to.

Like other posters have said this is a huge task to take on and at a very important time In her educational journey.

Place marking for later. I’m similar boat.

@Ginismedicinal
Im sorry your DD has had such a traumatic time at school. I’m an ex teacher and am saddened every day by stories such as yours. (I also home educate my own DC and have done for a few years now).

In terms of an email all you literally need to do is send:

Dear Mr/Mrs xxxxx,
I am writing to inform you that as from xx/xx/xxxx NAME of DD will be educated otherwise than in school so please remove her from your register.
Many thanks
xxxxx

You do not need their permission nor do you need a home visit or a meeting or anything like that. They then inform the Local Authority and they will contact you in due course. (if you need more advice on report writing I can point you in the direction of help). I suggest you join the HEFA Facebook group and have a look at the Not Fine In School website.

As you are doing this to protect your DD and she has been through a difficult time with her mental health affected I would advise you give her some time to ‘deschool’ and to get well again before you begin to start getting her to study. You still have plenty of time and opportunities to get her set up with some GCSEs. Again I can advise you on that if you like?

Please don’t worry. You are doing an amazing thing for your child. Follow your instincts and it will all work out (ignore comments about not being a teacher!).

You would not believe the amount of parents in this situation in the uk. I am an ex teacher turned unschooling parent and the amount of posts every day on our National HE Facebook groups is shocking. Parents are pulling their kids out of school at a rate I’ve never witnessed before.

Home education has become a SAFETY NET for families. Whereas in the past it was more of a lifestyle choice, a philosophical choice, it’s is now so much more. If I can help please let me know.

There are home education groups on Facebook which I’ve seen mentioned on here.

I'm really sorry to hear about your DD's struggles, it's very difficult to watch as a parent (understatement). My Y9 DC hasn't been in school since Christmas due to MH. DC has really, really tried but anxiety was through the roof. School has been great and referred us to the council/LEA, who have put in place a medical needs tuition package of over 6 hours a week one to one tuition in the core subjects. DC is accessing MH support and I'm hoping they will be able to return in Y10, but I've been told that the tuition package can continue all the way through to GCSEs if needed. Remember, your DD is legally entitled to an education - think twice about deregistering until you've explored all the options with the school and LEA.

As I said, I'm hoping we won't need the tuition long term, but if we do, I'd then look to supplement this with a couple of additional GCSEs via one of the many online providers. I'm in a UK homeschooling Facebook group which has tonnes of info - that would be my first port of call.

As an ex-teacher who now home educates, I can categorically state that nothing in my teacher training was particularly useful for home education. In fact, I have had to work extremely hard to “de-school” myself in order for my child to flourish.

OP join the Facebook groups. HEFA has a file where you can print off the letters with the correct legal wording.

Find your local group for social events and advice and support on lessons (if that is the route that you choose). There is a tuition group for £2 a lesson that covers a lot of GCSE content. There is no requirement for your child to take formal GCSE’s and it is well worth investigating alternative options in your area.

Just to make you aware (not that I’m sure it applies to you) - if your daughter is in a specialist school rather than a mainstream school, you will need the local education authority to consent to you taking her out. You don’t need that if she’s in a mainstream school.

I work in a school and the rate of removing children from school is increasing. However it is often the parents who think their child can do no wrong and don't support the schools behaviour policy. As a generalisation these are also parents who are confrontational, and generally are not well educated themselves. I despair for the "education " these kids will get.

What a load of old tosh this is. As you clearly have no experience of home educating/schooling, I highly recommend that OP ignore your comments.

You also clearly also have no experience/understanding of children with SEMH or SEND if you think that “the schools behaviour policy” is a fit all solution to issues in schools.

Op good luck. Contact your local county council and ask for the young person's team. Also your local education centre might do a 14-19 study programme?? I'm in the same situation with mu son. I withdrew him from school last year (he was 15). 🤞🍀💐❤️

Anecdotal much!

One school and one viewpoint does not make what you say true! So many parents nationwide who are removing their children are doing so out of desperation because their children cannot access the one-size-fits-all style of ‘education’ on offer today in our schools. They are often SEND or ND kids and are riddled with anxiety and fear.

I think some people on here are forgetting the reason she has come to the decision to home school her child, when you have a child that gets to breaking point of going to school you will do all you can for them, taking my daughter out of school is the reason she’s still here and breathing, I don’t regret it for a second!

Just remember you will have to pay for her exams, which is not cheap when you have several! Anywhere from £50-£100 per exam.

My post isn't anecdotal or a load of tosh. I see it weekly. Some kids do have send or anxiety and I understand if school doesn't fit those kids, however it isn't the norm. It is usually parents whose children are continually in trouble and the parents think they can do no wrong. I see it daily.

Well I have to say that your/your schools attitude could be a contributing factor to the parental experiences.

Point me in the direction of one school in the UK that doesn’t teach that all behaviour is communication. It is a fact, some schools just do better than others.

Acknowledging that behaviour in schools is a problem is one thing but you are clearly suggesting that children being continually in trouble is a choice for them. Even the class clown’s behaviour stems from insecurity. It is this attitude that frustrates so many parents and probably why you have seen your fair share of frustrated parents.

Until last summer, I taught in an inner city school where we were faced with very serious behaviour issues. I rarely had problems with parents. Our SLT were amazing at providing pastoral support for all children. The school system still didn’t suit some of the children but they were supported nevertheless.

can you not look at an alternative school - it’s a worryingly important time to pull her out to homeschool when you don’t really have a clue how to start the process

My DD dropped out of school due to a physical health issue.

It's important for a teen to be in good mental and physical health before thinking about resuming education. If she had mh issues I would focus on those and doing what you can to support/get her seen.

GCSEs can be taken later. Some colleges offer a 14-16 programme for teens who have been home edded or ill etc with 5 GCSEs abd and a part time attendance.

The most important thing is that your daughter gets better. Education comes after that. The only GCSEs she is likely to need are English and maths and possibly others if she wanted to do A levels.

My DD after a few years of treatment was physically well enough to resume education and did an access to university course at college and is now at uni.

There are other paths.