help what to do????

[samkearsey]

hi all
i have posted on here before, i dereg my daughter 4 weeks ago, but following the birth of my baby 21 weeks ago i am suffering with pnd and ocd i have a nurse who i see from the cmht and i am on tablets!

my nurse came to visit me yesterday and said a meeting has been arranged between her, school nurse, health visitor and me on 1st may, from what i have gathered it is to prove that i cannot teach my daughter because of the pnd and they are trying to bully me back into sending her back to school!

wasnt sure where to post this but really am desperate for advise as not slept all night and feel rubbish today!!!!

sorry you are feeling so dreadfu saml
I can't offer advice but didn't want to read and run -- but I have to run so am bumping for a home-edder!
best wishes x

oh aaargh

I have to run too but am bumping it

my first thought is if you are really struggling,

1. ask for more time. do this by letter. we can help you on here to word it of need be-there may well be templates. its not long you've been doing this and its reasonable to ask for a bedding in period.

1. if the meeting goes ahead, attend (you need to know whats happened) BUT take someone with you.

1. urgently get in contact with your local group (if you haven't already), tell them what has happened and ask for help. They WILL help, and may have experience of this happening before.

if you want to say where you are there may even be a local heing MNetter!

thanks
the worst part is i am not struggling with her education we are loving it and it has made my pnd better!!!

we live in windsor, berkshire would be good to hear from anyone near by about any groups

sam, have you tried emailing Education Otherwise with details of what is happening asap?

www.education-otherwise.org/About%20EO/About%20EO/address.htm

They have a wealth of knowledge, and should be able to advise.

samskearsey
The education of your daughter has nothing to do with the school nurse, health visitor or the community mental health team directly, but they could refer you on to Social Services, if they have concerns and for that reason must be taken seriously.

Do you have any help/support in educating your daughter?
Is anyone else involved-grandparents/partner?

Have you got contact with any one locally who knows about home education and can come and support you at the meeting?

Berkshire Home Educators
The Yahoo group has 210 members.

my husband is also envolved in her education but works so is not around as much, my parents and his parents are also around and help as needed!

thank you for the link for EO will contact them shortly. am seeing a solicitor next week, i think my husband is taking the afternoon off work to be there but got to control him so he doesnt lose his temper!

Okay
Then they should not be able to bully you.
I suspect they have preconceived ideas about home education, they most probably believe that it requires you to be sitting her down at the kitchen table 'teaching' her lessons from 9-3.

Of course we know that this is often the last thing many home educator would do.

With your hubby and both sets of grandparents supporting you and involved with her education, you should be able to prove that an suitable and efficient education is indeed being provided.

I would be putting together an Educational Philosophy
That's a sort of report about why you home educate in the way you do- The European Court of Human Rights says that parents have the right to educate according to your philosophical convictions-so with an Ed Phil in place, the powers that be, need to judge the education you are providing against that Ed Phil and not some school based idea of what an education looks like.

Then you need a written report of the resources you use-to achieve the education in the way stated in your ed phil, and covering other aspects of the education such as socialisation and support.

Put in there, the input both sets of grandparents have and your hubby in your daughters education.
Get out and meet other home educators and go to groups if you can-and then write that in the educational philosophy-again evidence that you are getting support with the home ed.

Normally i would be saying that 4 weeks is too early for anyone to come round asking questions-but in this case I fear they might take it further and bring in other children's services.

Further-my hubby (a former psychiatric nurse tutor) suggests you get hold of the your community nurse and give her information about home education.
If you contact me through the info@link on our local website below, I can give you our details so your nurse can talk to another experienced ex psychiatric nurse and home educator about the realities and practicalities of a Home Based Education, if this would be helpful

regards
Julie
Worcestershire Home education Network

julie
thank you so much that is fantastic and really helpful, i am calling the community nurse this afternoon so will let her know

thanks again for everyones support it has been a really tough time and am at wits end with it all!

even had a mum a few days ago ask me if she was better with her cancer!!!!!! not sure if thats what the school are saying is why she has left!
sam

hi all

took her to the gp this morning and he is writing a letter to the lea explaining why she no longer attends school and how happy she is at home!

good news for now

samskearsey
How come your GP has needed to write to your LA?
Have they been causing problems as well?
Have you sent in the official deregistration letter to the school?
I'm glad your GP is supportive. Did you mention the nurses actions in calling the meeting?

hi
He offered to write to the LA as they have found out about my pnd through someone, and he wants to make it clear to them that it is beneficial to all the family unit, to HE.I explained to him about the nurses involvement in this meeting and he is going to speak to her and the HV, he does not see why the school nurse should be involved at all, and he is happy that if i have any concerns to take her down the surgery to see him or the nurse.

The LA have made contact to my nurse from the CMHT, and we are unsure how and why!

We sent in the dereg letter to the school on the 3rd march, and the forms to the LA on the 26th march. so i think we have done everything that is required of us? my nurse said that the LA were very happy with the forms that we submitted, so that is one good thing i suppose.

sam

Fantastic that your GP is on your side.

He is right there is no reason for the School Nurse to be involved.

Lets see what comes of the GP talking to the HV and CMHT nurse.
The offer of talking to the CMHT nurse still stands if she will take it up.

In the meantime I would get on with your Ed Phil and report explaining the resources used and the support you have-as I mentioned before.
There are examples of Ed Phils on the UK-HE website
and on the EO website
They are not intended to be copied wholesale but rather to form a basis for your own philosophy of education and resource list.
If I can help, give me a shout-an email to the info@ link of our local Worcestershire Home Ed website will reach my inbox.

thank you for that will keep you updated it is great to have such support from people who understand, will check out those sites
thanks again
sam

hi all just an update i have been to the solicitors and they have said that if the social have not got involved so far then they probably wont which is a big relief, she also said that we have done nothing wrong and to put evidence together to support our decision and to prove that it was not a rushed decision and that we seeked advise and support before hand!

now all we can do is wait till the begining of next month for this meeting, will keep you all updated thanks again for heaps of support

Will you have support at that meeting?
My advice would be to have someone there on your side.
who has a clip board and writes down names of all those present.
Asks them to repeat what was being said so you have correctly

For (silly I know) eg: if they were to say your curtains were pink when that was not true, the supporting person says, "so I am to take it that you are saying that those curtains are pink?" then they have to say yes or no.

Have the law about HE printed out
When I went to support another parent local to us, when they has a meeting with SS, she had the UK-HE FAQ page printed out and we referred the Social Workers to them several times.
This was definitely worth doing as the SW did not know the law about HE at all.
(They closed the case-and took the HE info with them, for future reference! )

I would also be clear that I had consulted a solicitor on this-and I would indicate that I had some other appointment in one hour or so, (amybe a HE meeting to go to??) so the time they can spend at this meeting is limited!

thankyou that is brilliant a few points we had not thought about! my husband and mother in law are going to be at this meeting and all the children will be at my parents!

That's great!
That way they simply cannot imply that the home education is simply down to you, they will be demonstrating their support very visibly!
Remind them too, that HE doesn't have to happen between 9-3 Mon-Fri in term time only as it does in school, so your hubby will be very active in the HE after school.
And of course much of HE happens through living real life, so by simply going to the shops with you etc your daughter will be learning about society, psychology of shopping and maths all together in a 'real life way' that schools cannot match!

You may well set them thinking outside the box as well after this.

The offer for the nurse to discuss HE with my hubby still stands if it is needed, after that, but I'm sure you'll see them off with out that.

Sorry I didn't make it very clear-I mean your hubby and mom will be demonstrating their support very clearly.