How do we get the ball rolling?

[MrsSnape]

My mum has decided that home schooling is the best option for my 14 year old sister. She is obese, border line autistic, zero confidence and has been a target for bullying for the past 10 years. The schools are not interested, she is failing academically and she spends all her time crying. She has NO friends.

So basically we're wondering how to go about it. I assume the first step is to tell the school she will be leaving? Then what?

Does my mum need to contact the education authority and tell them of the home ed? What help (if any) will she receieve? Will she receieve guidance on what my sister needs to be learning?

What about exams? my sister wants to go to animal college when she is 16 but this requires 4 gsce's grade D or above....how do you go about the GSCE exams?

What about her y9 SATS that she is due to take in May? Does she need to do them?

How do you manage to socialise them? she has no friends currently so any social activity will be up on what she has at the moment...

I know its alot of questions but its all new to us.

Thanks

Sorry to hear your sister is having such a hard time.

this is a good place for info.

hello MrsSnape

I agree with Bubble EO is a good place to start-but also have a look at HE-UK-an excellent independant HW website.

Most importantly see HE Special needs
This page also has an email support list for families who home educate their children with SEN. I cannot recommend that list highly enough. There is a wealth of people there who will be able to lend support, as they know about home educating young people with the difficulties your daughter is experiencing.

You are right, the first step is to tell the school-there are a couple of differences between England/Wales and Scotland, so I'll bump up the relaveaant threads that tell you what to do.

There is a sample deregistration letter available on the EO and HE-UK websites. It is then the schools responsibility to tell the LA, not your mothers.

It is unlikely that the LA will be able to offer guidance on what your sister should be learning-as from now on it will be down to your mother and sister to decide that.

I would recommend that your sister (and her mom) take time to 'deschool'
"Deschooling is the process by which a child who has been in school re-acclimatises him or her self towards the new environment of home education from the school environment.
When a child is first removed from school the child's (and parents) expectations about what education is undergoes a period of reassessment. Schools follow a highly structured educational style with class learning regulated by the national curriculum and regular changes of subjects through the day. But its not just what is learned and how that changes, it's the institutional ethos. By this I mean the structured culture and authoritarian environment of school which of course plays little part in home life.
Sometime a child may have been traumatised by their school experiences. Perhaps by bullying, or the sense of being a small cog in a large institution. Sometimes it can be specific incidents leading to school refusal that leads to the decision to home educate. In these kinds of circumstances the process of deschooling is not limited to relearning how to learn, its learning how to trust in their own safety again. In this sense its the re-establishment of the child's concept of self and individuality.
Since their education has sometimes been bound together with fear and low self esteem then attempts to introduce formal learning into the child's life too soon after a removal from school may well be met with resistance from the child. It therefore can take some time for the child to see formal education as a safe and positive thing"

There are a couple of good books to look at on the 'Books on Home Education' thread.
I would recommend you look at 'Paths are made for walking:Home Educating our Autistic Spectrum Children' edited by Terri Dowty,

"The Teenage Liberation Handbook: How to Quit School and Get a Real Life and Education" by Grace Llewellyn

and
Unqualified Education: A Practical Guide to Learning at Home Age 11-18
By Gareth Lewis

details of all of these books are on that other thread.

Then I suggest looking for other home educators locally and going along to a HE meeting for a chat.

There is an email support list for Home Educators who wish to take exams they will be able to help you look at the options available.
Some home educators do take exams by the age of 16 (or earlier) some wait until they are 16+ and then do them at FE college when they are free, and some bypass GCSES and A levels altogether and do OU courses instead.
The choice will be your mom and nieces now.

Hope that helps-but if you do have any more questions do come back and ask.

I'll go bump up those other threads now.

I am glad that your mother has decided to take that step Mrs Snape, I know that you wrote about your sister's problems at length, and getting her out of school seemed a sensible first step. I know your Mum wasn't keen on the HomeEd so I would suggest that she meets up with others in the area, for her benefit as well as her daughter. She doesn't need the year 9 SATs -they are not used for anything (except school league tables).

Hi MrsSnape, I'm glad your mum has made a decision to do something about your sister's situation, I remember you posting about her before.

I don't have a lot to add - the advice here already should get you/them started. I seem to remember your mum is a bit nervous of officials? It would be worth making sure she is clear about what is required and what isn't, so she doesn't get any bad advice from the LA. Some of them are fine and helpful, but some seem not to know what the law is. If you read through the websites above you should be in a better position to know the score.

All she has to do is deregister your sister from school. Then the school will deal with the LA. The LA will then probably get in touch with your mum and suggest coming to her house to meet them and ask about what they are planning to do. She doesn't have to have them in the house if she doesn't want to, or meet them at all if they are likely to fluster her - she could tell them she'll deal with it all by letter if she'd feel happier doing it that way, then you/she would be able to get advice if you're uncomfortable.

I agree with Julie that it would be a good idea to give her time to get over the bad stuff from school before she starts to do any "school work" again, but I know you have worries that they might just not do anything very much. Maybe there's something she's interested in that she could make a start on, which would make her feel good about herself and her abiliites? Even just getting some library books about animal care might be a start, if that's what she's interested in.

Social stuff is in a lot of ways harder for teens - you can't just take them to a soft-play and expect them to muck in together the way a lot of younger children will do. Are there any courses or activities locally where she might meet more people? They don't have to be teens either, she may get on better with slightly older people who are a bit more patient than some 14 year olds can be. Fitness classes might be an idea, though she may be uncomfortable doing them at first. Maybe an adult education art or healthy cooking course? Anything where she meets a range of people and just starts getting to know people in a non-threatening environment to start with. Making friends takes longer, and she may not be ready for that until she's had a chance to relax a bit about more "low-key" encounters with people.

Anyway, having said I don't have much to add, I've chatted on a fair bit - I'm just glad for her sake that they have decided to take the first step. Keep posting on here and you'll get loads of suggestions from all the HErs I'm sure.