Where to start | Mumsnet

Rachaelc1981 · 2023-11-11T14:25:10+00:00

Hi can anyone give some advice on how to get my son back into school. He’s pretty much 13 and just started year 7 (been home schooled since 1st lockdown). I feel it’s time for him to go back to school as he’s not benefiting at all from being at home. I feel he’s massively behind (possibly 2 years behind) he’s got very low attention span and just writes things down from online lessons and doesn’t say anything about understanding it and when I ask him questions on the subject he hasn’t got a clue. I’m really worried his new school/authorities are going to ask for his work over the last few years and wonder what he’s been doing that whole time etc. I provide him with all the lessons, laptop pen paper etc so everything he needs but I’m scared I’m going to get the blame for him not doing his work. Where do I start? Who do I contact to get him into school? Thank you I’m advance

Badatthis · 11/11/2023 14:38

I think you have to be honest and explain that he's behind. There's not much else to do.

Original poster

Rachaelc1981 · 11/11/2023 14:57

Badatthis · 11/11/2023 14:38

I think you have to be honest and explain that he's behind. There's not much else to do.

Thank you for your reply. Who do i speak to? His new school (once I have chosen one) or local council?

OP posts:

Saracen · 11/11/2023 22:29

Not all kids of a given age are at the same level, whether or not they have been attending school. The school should be able to provide suitable work for your son to do. I agree with @Badatthis that you should tell the school what level you think your son is. Hopefully they will then be able to start him in the correct class, rather than putting him in one which is too difficult, so he feels he is failing.

Aside from ascertaining your son's level, the school aren't going to be demanding to know what he has been doing. You aren't answerable to them. Nor do you have anything to fear from the Local Authority. It's true that you have had a legal duty to provide him with a suitable education. But the only thing which happens if you don't is that the LA could, eventually, order you to register him at school. However, you are planning to do that anyway, so there would be no point in the LA asking for information about his home education and taking legal action to force him to school!

CyberCritical · 11/11/2023 22:53

I think you will need to speak to the school once you have a place and work with then to agree a plan for how you can support them in bridging the gaps caused by homeschooling.

Has he followed any kind of curriculum or generated any work in the last 3 years because by your description it sounds like he started homeschooling at 9/10yrs old and you only speak of having provided him supplies not learning content.

Why did you choose to move him to homeschooling rather than return to his school, are there any additional needs that will require support?

Original poster

Rachaelc1981 · 11/11/2023 23:05

Saracen · 11/11/2023 22:29

Not all kids of a given age are at the same level, whether or not they have been attending school. The school should be able to provide suitable work for your son to do. I agree with @Badatthis that you should tell the school what level you think your son is. Hopefully they will then be able to start him in the correct class, rather than putting him in one which is too difficult, so he feels he is failing.

Aside from ascertaining your son's level, the school aren't going to be demanding to know what he has been doing. You aren't answerable to them. Nor do you have anything to fear from the Local Authority. It's true that you have had a legal duty to provide him with a suitable education. But the only thing which happens if you don't is that the LA could, eventually, order you to register him at school. However, you are planning to do that anyway, so there would be no point in the LA asking for information about his home education and taking legal action to force him to school!

Thank you for your reply. It’s been very helpful and put my mind at rest. Thank you I really appreciate your input x

OP posts:

Original poster

Rachaelc1981 · 11/11/2023 23:06

CyberCritical · 11/11/2023 22:53

I think you will need to speak to the school once you have a place and work with then to agree a plan for how you can support them in bridging the gaps caused by homeschooling.

Has he followed any kind of curriculum or generated any work in the last 3 years because by your description it sounds like he started homeschooling at 9/10yrs old and you only speak of having provided him supplies not learning content.

Why did you choose to move him to homeschooling rather than return to his school, are there any additional needs that will require support?

Thank you for your reply. We took our son out of school when the pandemic 1st hit and have weighing up all options on how and when to send him back and now he has joined high school we feel it’s the right time x

OP posts:

AllProperTeaIsTheft · 11/11/2023 23:12

but I’m scared I’m going to get the blame for him not doing his work.

Well yes, just giving a 13yo lesson materials, a laptop and a pen and paper and letting him get on with it isn't really homeschooling. Why did you take him out of school? Just be honest with the school you choose. They will do what they can to catch him up.

CyberCritical · 11/11/2023 23:27

"We took our son out of school when the pandemic 1st hit and have weighing up all options on how and when to send him back and now he has joined high school we feel it’s the right time x"

Are you in the U.K.?

Secondary school is year 7 so if you are in the U.K. then this doesn't ring true as he would have been starting secondary school at age 11/12 not 12/13. Also if you wanted him to join at the beginning of secondary then he'd be in school now having started in Sept when they went back after summer.

You haven't answered half my questions so I have to assume that you haven't done any kind of structured learning or been active in his home education at all, you have just provided a then 10yr old, now 13 year old with a laptop, pens and paper and told him to crack on. He like most 10 - 13 yr olds given the opportunity to not do schoolwork has chosen to do other stuff instead.

It's entirely likely that the school will identify that that's the case, and if you feel bad about that then maybe you should, if you didn't want to actually educate him at home then you had the option to send him to school.

The school will I'm sure though be diplomatic and focus on moving forwards rather than looking back.

Original poster

Rachaelc1981 · 12/11/2023 00:07

CyberCritical · 11/11/2023 23:27

"We took our son out of school when the pandemic 1st hit and have weighing up all options on how and when to send him back and now he has joined high school we feel it’s the right time x"

Are you in the U.K.?

Secondary school is year 7 so if you are in the U.K. then this doesn't ring true as he would have been starting secondary school at age 11/12 not 12/13. Also if you wanted him to join at the beginning of secondary then he'd be in school now having started in Sept when they went back after summer.

You haven't answered half my questions so I have to assume that you haven't done any kind of structured learning or been active in his home education at all, you have just provided a then 10yr old, now 13 year old with a laptop, pens and paper and told him to crack on. He like most 10 - 13 yr olds given the opportunity to not do schoolwork has chosen to do other stuff instead.

It's entirely likely that the school will identify that that's the case, and if you feel bad about that then maybe you should, if you didn't want to actually educate him at home then you had the option to send him to school.

The school will I'm sure though be diplomatic and focus on moving forwards rather than looking back.

Yea I am in the UK and my son is nearly 12 (matter of weeks) not 12-13 ! so he would have joined year 7 in sept. I haven’t JJ yay given him pen and paper ! I’m not that bad. I’ve given him his lesson (Oak academy,BBC bitesize, work boots and online test sheets) so I have provided him with all the correct tools needed. His primary school were 100% supportive when we first took him out and provided him with online teaching and sent worksheets home for him so it’s not like I’ve just let him mess around for 3 years.

OP posts:

Badatthis · 12/11/2023 07:04

You bought materials and platforms but did you actually sit with him to go through it? Make sure he understood? Was keeping up with the concepts and work required? It comes across like you bought him a subscription and told him to crack on with it.

Sprogonthetyne · 12/11/2023 07:24

You say in you op that he's "pretty much 13", which is why people are questioning.

If he's in fact only 11, that would have made him only 8 when you started "homeschooling" so even more in need of actual adult suport to learn, not just resources/ lesson plans. Do/did you sit with him to work through the lessons? and if so why did you not notice 2.5 years ago that he wasn't learning?

Was he behind before the pandemic? Because if not been 2 years behind now would suggest he hasn't progressed at all thos entire time.

OneMoreStepAlongTheRoadIGo · 12/11/2023 07:31

Talk to the lea and just say you want a school place and he's been homeschooling.

They won't look into what you've been doing or reasons why you let this slip.

It is quite urgent you do this now though as year 7 is often a good place to start and be able to lay foundations for seco dary. There is often some movement now with places so you may get a place

When you have a school place do talk to the school to say he is behind and my need extra support settling into school.

Does he want to attend school? Does he have any identified SEN needs? Will he manage the routine? Can he read/write/do basic maths?

Sell it as a positive thing. Go look round the school and big uo the clubs/spirt whatever he's into.

Original poster

Rachaelc1981 · 12/11/2023 12:44

Badatthis · 12/11/2023 07:04

You bought materials and platforms but did you actually sit with him to go through it? Make sure he understood? Was keeping up with the concepts and work required? It comes across like you bought him a subscription and told him to crack on with it.

No, I sit with him all day every day with him encouraging him and talking to him so no I haven’t just went ‘crack on with it’

OP posts:

Original poster

Rachaelc1981 · 12/11/2023 12:46

OneMoreStepAlongTheRoadIGo · 12/11/2023 07:31

Talk to the lea and just say you want a school place and he's been homeschooling.

They won't look into what you've been doing or reasons why you let this slip.

It is quite urgent you do this now though as year 7 is often a good place to start and be able to lay foundations for seco dary. There is often some movement now with places so you may get a place

When you have a school place do talk to the school to say he is behind and my need extra support settling into school.

Does he want to attend school? Does he have any identified SEN needs? Will he manage the routine? Can he read/write/do basic maths?

Sell it as a positive thing. Go look round the school and big uo the clubs/spirt whatever he's into.

Yes he wants to go back to school. He has always struggled with school and did have extra help with certain lessons whilst he was there so that will need to be spoke about

OP posts: