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Home ed

Find advice from other parents on our Homeschool forum. You may also find our round up of the best online learning resources useful.

Just took 8 yo out of school

9 replies

Mumtoboys1 · 22/06/2023 22:27

Just took my 8 yo autistic boy out of school. Any advice on what's to come? Worried about council coming round nitpicking and critiquing everything. It was kind of a quick decision as he has just gotten so miserable with school. So it's not like I'm totally organised right now kind of taking each day as it comes.

OP posts:
24Dogcuddler · 23/06/2023 07:00

Have you let the LA know yet? Does he have an EHCP? Did you discuss a part time timetable with school? Could another be more inclusive ? Just thoughts I know you won’t have taken the decision lightly.

In our large borough there is one teacher for Home Education. She advises on resources etc but is so stretched that visits to the home are only one per term or even year usually.

This is Government advice but there will be local parents support and advice and online groups and sites for Home Education.

https://www.gov.uk/home-education

Moving forward if you are not going to or don’t feel able to rengage your son in the system you will need a support network for both of you.

Educating your child at home

Educating your child at home ('home schooling'): when to get permission, telling the school, curriculum, SEN.

https://www.gov.uk/home-education

Saracen · 23/06/2023 07:14

I'm sorry you've had to make this decision in such a hurry. It must feel very unsettling, but I'm sure you're right to have done it and that your son will start to feel happier soon.

Just focus on right now. You don't have to have long-term plans. That can come later. There's no hurry. Or you can carry on just doing it month by month and year by year and never have long-term plans. At any point, if home ed doesn't feel like it's working out, you can tinker with it to make it better, or you can always send him back to school - maybe a different one if his original school was a particularly bad fit. Some kids who didn't thrive in primary are okay in secondary.

Other parents who have removed their children from school usually advise starting off by taking a complete break from all formal adult-led academic work, especially if the child had bad school experiences from which he may need to recover. We call it "deschooling": getting the school out of his system and yours. Give it a few months at least. Just let your little boy have fun and do all the things which make him happy. Play with Lego, read to him, take him to his favourite museum, cuddle the dog, play video games. He needs a reset before he'll be feeling calm and contented enough to sit and focus. These things are all learning experiences.

Some families like mine never do move on to school-style learning at home, but continue to let their children decide how and what and when to learn. If you do want to do more formal work, you could introduce different subjects gradually once you think your son is ready, maybe starting with his favourite subjects so as to get off on the right foot, or you could do projects based on his interests and cover all subjects through the project. There are many many ways to home educate, which you can start researching and considering while your child is recovering.

Saracen · 23/06/2023 07:25

The school will have informed the LA - they are legally required to do so - so you don't have to do that. You can expect them to make contact fairly soon, usually in the first few months but sometimes within a week or two. LA staff are often poorly trained and you're right to be concerned that they may make unfair and undermining criticisms. They may know little about autism or about home education.

You can keep them at arm's length by telling them (if they start off by phoning you) to please write to you instead and keep all communication in writing going forward. Once you get the letter, you have time to think about how to respond and to take advice on whether you have to do whatever they are asking of you. Some LAs will imply that you have to go along with whatever procedure they have concocted, and don't mention that there's no legal requirement for you to comply. You do not have to accept meetings in your home or elsewhere, nor do you have to complete forms or share future plans with them. Sharing plans can be setting yourself up for a fall because if you change your mind and do something different, the LA may claim you are failing! In fact, one great benefit of home ed is that it lets you adapt flexibly to your child's needs and it is foolish to stick rigidly to a plan which isn't working.

Instead, if they ask for information, you can respond by writing a report describing what your child has been learning. That includes informal learning. You can get help with report writing from home ed organisations. Education Otherwise has a template on their website to help you get started.

sashh · 23/06/2023 08:28

I'm not an expert on home ed, I just have an interest in it. Just to say, you have done what is best for your child, well done.

It must have been hard to do.

Mumtoboys1 · 23/06/2023 10:18

Thanks for all the advice from everyone. It was a quick decision although he's never been the best with school. School refusal got really bad since starting year 3. It's only been a week but already a weight has been lifted. He has been making his own breakfast everyday and helping round the house. Something I wouldn't of even bothered to attempt while he was at school because he was constantly miserable even at home. He had already been coming home for lunchtimes since last year.

I'm just worried about lack of support now, not that he was getting much anyway. EHCP got refused back in January and regrettably I didn't appeal it. He is very intelligent so doesn't fall behind target wise despite struggling with other aspects of school. I think they just blame that on us parents. It just got to the point where he was refusing to work. Since being home I've been doing age appropriate work with him and to be honest he's well ahead. I honestly think if he fell behind on targets he would of gotten more help. And since the refusal things have gotten worse. I'm just thinking towards SEN schools in future he is going to need EHCP.

OP posts:
TheInterceptor · 23/06/2023 11:10

Look up the Education Otherwise website - they're a great source of information and support. Also look for an area-specific HomeEd group on Facebook - there's a great deal of variety between the different LAs. Well done, I'm so pleased for your son to have such a responsive Mum.

Saracen · 23/06/2023 11:14

There's a lot of help and advice available through the home ed community. Much of it is on Facebook these days. You might like to get in touch with a local home ed group to see whether there are activities, outings, or social opportunities which appeal. That also gives you the chance to chat with other parents about which educational approaches and resources they have used, to help you figure out what would suit your child. Many home educated kids have autism too.

For the time being, your son might prefer to stay at home where he feels safe, and not have extra demands put on him. However, after he is feeling more relaxed, eventually he will probably be up for trying something new. Ask around and you may be able to find something he'll like. Where I live, there are many home ed activities to choose from. They range from big busy sports groups to small quiet robotics sessions, and some people just arrange to meet up with one or two other families in the park or to do a particular shared interest.

The best way to find a local home ed group is to go to the Facebook search bar and type "home education" followed by the name of your town or county or nearest big town. Let us know if you have any trouble finding something. I'm sure someone here can help.

Mumtoboys1 · 23/06/2023 22:52

Thanks so much for all the responses everyone has been super helpful ☺️. Hopefully our home education journey continues on a good path I will be sure to check out all the recommendations!

OP posts:
sashh · 24/06/2023 07:50

I watch a YouTube channel called 'Jar of fireflies', it is a lovely woman called Chana who is in Texas, is a convert to Orthodox Judaism and home educates her children.

She is just so unfazed by anything and, although they stick to a US curriculum she has some interesting ideas eg she will read a story or a poem while her children make illustrations.

Something I found interesting is that although she has set lessons each day she doesn't have a schedule or timetable.

Her children wake up when they want and decide when to study.

Give her a watch. It's not all home education, she talks about her life, how and why she converted, and her husbands cooking looks fantastic.

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