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Home ed

Find advice from other parents on our Homeschool forum. You may also find our round up of the best online learning resources useful.

Does money matter when home educating?

17 replies

HomeEducatingNC · 12/06/2023 09:58

Hi

NC as details are outing. Sorry for the long post, feel kind of lost hoping someone can shed some light.

I want to home educate my two DD. One is 5 and in reception also has a diagnosis of Autisum and Dyspraxia. My eldest is 8 year 3.

I have no idea where to start! I live in a 2 bedroom flat, there is no space for a studying area other than the dinning room table. My children share a room (we're looking at separating the room to give them thier own space but there won't be enough room for a desk etc) I currently work part time but would need to leave to HE, my husband earns an ok wage but trips every week etc wouldn't be feasible. I'm also not book smart and wouldn't have a clue with secondary learning.

My eldest has anixty and worries all the time, she's attached me whenever she's not at school, while I think HE may help she's also painfully shy I am wondering if HE would make that worse?

My youngest has AD but I don't think being HE would effect her in the same way, probably the complete opposite, she's a social butterfly and loves to be around other children.

I guess my question is how do you do it? Which I know is a pretty wide question. Also were your partners on board? I cant imagine my husband would be for this.

Sorry for waffling and long post.

OP posts:
Mushroo · 12/06/2023 10:10

Nothing in your post suggests HE is a good idea, sorry.

What is it you’re not happy about with your current schooling set up? Could you address that?

HomeEducatingNC · 12/06/2023 10:25

Hi

I appreciate your honesty.

My youngest goes into school crying most days, there's no nurturing no cuddle from the teacher she just has to get over it, I get that there's 25 other children to care for and only 2/3 teachers but shes 5 and just needs a cuddle and abit of reassurance. My eldest also hates going in, there's been some issues with bullying, the school talk about feelings etc but the in the end the bully's get away with it and nothings actually done to prevent it happening again. I'm aware bullying happens at every age but I just want to protect my kids.

I'm also aware this sounds selfish from me however, at the end of the school day, after the after school clubs etc my kids are so tired but have to do homework most nights (not so much my youngest she just has to do reading) i think they miss out on actually just being kids. I'd like them to learn in others ways that doesn't revolve around copying from the board etc. Perhaps I just like the thought of it but actually implementing may not work.

OP posts:
Mushroo · 12/06/2023 10:28

It sounds really tough, I completely get where you’re coming from that the environment just isn’t right for them.

Could you speak to the teacher or are there any other local schools that are a bit smaller? Or reduce your hours so they don’t have to do after school clubs? That might be a decent halfway house.

My concern with home schooling is that you could probably manage it now, but you’d be storing up problems at secondary school level.

The other wildcard suggestion that I’ve not looked into at all so I’m not sure what it costs, is online schooling? That way they’d be at home, but the actual curriculum would be covered by someone else.

Legaldrama · 12/06/2023 10:31

I'd try another school. HE in a small flat with no money sounds beyond miserable.

Shinyandnew1 · 12/06/2023 10:33

I don’t know many families who could drop to one wage and still pay the mortgage/bills at the moment, so obviously that would be a massive consideration, let alone thinking about paying towards any sort of Home Ed groups. How would your husband feel about being the only one bringing money in-that could be quite a strain?

johnworf · 12/06/2023 10:33

Hi. I've been HE my autistic 15 year old for 4 years. He's been in primary school and also a special high school but due to previous school trauma the environment was making his mental health worse.

Firstly, you don't need to set yourself as a school at home. Learning takes place in making different ways. You don't have to follow the national curriculum but you do have to provide a suitable and appropriate education for your children. We use art galleries, museums, do project work, use online resources (free) and websites like Twinkl.

Have a look on social media for groups in your local area. There's often lots of meet ups. There's so many where I am there's no way we could do even half of them!

Remember, that if you HE and your child feels they would like to go back into mainstream schooling, then they can. It's not a hard and fast 'once you're out, then you're out'.

Good luck.

HomeEducatingNC · 12/06/2023 10:36

Mushroo

Sorry I didn't explain myself properly, the after school clubs I take them to are ones they want to do like dance and gymnastics etc.

There are no other schools locally that are smaller but I will look into them.

I did have a look at kings interhigh but fees wouldn't work for us, am going to look into a few others.

Thanks so much for your advice.

OP posts:
MaxwellCat · 12/06/2023 10:37

I’m HE not through choice though. I don’t work and I don’t have a partner.

HomeEducatingNC · 12/06/2023 10:41

Shinyandnew1

I only recently returned to work after 8 years off after my youngest started school full time.

We managed fine on my husbands wages and he didn't particularly want me to go back to work, I went back for me. The bills and mortgage aren't an issue its more about what the cost of HE, if we could afford it and if its right for my DDs.

OP posts:
HomeEducatingNC · 12/06/2023 10:44

Legaldrama

Its not classed as small, its just not a 3 bedroom house with an area that could be dedicated to HE. Also we don't have "no money" we just don't have the fees for the likes of kings interhigh.

Am looking into other schools.

OP posts:
HomeEducatingNC · 12/06/2023 10:46

johnworf

Thank you, I will look into that.

OP posts:
sashh · 12/06/2023 10:48

OP I think there as many approaches to HE as there are families doing it.

Some people follow a school day, others don't, other 'unschool'.

How are your children at afterschool clubs? If they don't have anxiety there then that's good, it's where they socialise with other children.

HE also doesn't need to be forever.

You don't need a space at home, there are libraries, museums, parks, galleries, theatres...

When I was at primary in the 70s we would do 'topic' so there would be a theme for topic, lets say it was 'British wildlife', we would draw pictures, read and write about the different animals / birds, in PE we would tunnel like moles or flap like birds. For maths we might make charts / graphs, count the number of insects in a set area and estimate the number for the whole field.

I wish schools could still teach like that because no one is bad at 'topic'.

I've never done it but I would have loved it as a child, I hated school but I enjoy learning.

Also lots of learning in the home is broader than school as you can include things like cooking, gardening (I know you are in a flat so maybe grow some cress on a windowsill) learning the washing symbols on clothes. It's all learning.

Velvetbee · 12/06/2023 11:17

I’ve HEd 4 children over 16 years, only the youngest is HE now, so I’ve both done a lot of HE and seen hundreds of other people doing it.
Some of those people were very wealthy (‘We went to Egypt to study the pyramids.’ wealthy), some definitely not (‘Auntie brought us a casserole because we’ve got no money til Friday but we enjoyed reading poetry in the woods..’ kinda thing). As long as you are supporting your child’s curiosity and working with their individuality to reach their potential you’re doing a decent job.

There is no problem using the dining table. You’ll either be one of those organised people with colour coded notebooks on a shelf or it’ll look like my house. We’re a ND household and still have signs of exuberant creativity everywhere.

There are lots and lots of ND kids in HE. It works better for them because you/they have control over socialisation. You can choose with whom and where you socialise. Many meet-ups are outside in green spaces which makes overwhelm less likely for many. And nobody minds if you want to move away for some quiet time or leave early.

If you’re on FB search yourtown then ‘home educators’. Also try yourcounty and some nearby towns as some groups are more active than others. Say you’re thinking about HE and someone will invite you for tea or a park meet.

HE during the primary years is a joy and you don’t need masses of stuff just a willingness to jump in.

BaronessEllarawrosaurus · 12/06/2023 11:22

look at your local area. What facilities, museums, libraries, art galleries etc are available. If you need to travel to places it increases costs etc

HomeEducator · 12/06/2023 11:25

Do you get dla for dc? If so you can get carers element on UC and you will get some benefits and not have to look for work

I home educate all my autistic dc and I’m autistic myself so I can’t work. We rely on UC. It’s going really well ! You don’t need a room for them or even a desk, do you have a dining table ? Just use that plus learning doesn’t have to take place at a desk like school you can go to museums parks home Ed groups etc

There are some good fb groups like educational freedom

sandberry · 12/06/2023 11:59

You may be able to continue a part time job if you can use childcare. UC fund 85% if you claim.

You don’t need a desk, you do need some space for art work/writing/crafts etc but the dining room table is fine.

Depends on your local area and transport as to how much cheap and free stuff is available locally. For example today we could have gone to a forest HE group or a local group where they provide soup, bread and fruit for £1 a family plus activities, play etc.
tomorrow there is a park play group
There’s HE gymnastics for minimal cost

Park, wetlands, beaches etc are all cheap
NT HE membership is cheap and a lot of places offer free or discounted admission for home Ed families.
There’s online HE discount groups so for example we sign up to a Geography programme for £4 a year and are considering an online science course for £30 a year.

We do pay for swimming lessons, beavers, gymastics, cooking class, music lessons but we’d pay for some of this at least if they were in school.

Badbadbunny · 12/06/2023 13:38

In the end, I didn't do it, but certainly looked into HE in some depth. I'd say it's pretty well do-able if you've got the time and initiative, able to do plenty of research and personally capable of doing the work you expect them to do, i.e. an average standard of education yourself. There are loads of online support groups, online chats, Facebook groups, etc etc which are full of brilliant advice from people who are doing it.

Don't think of having to spend a full "school day" sat at the dining room table. When you break it down, the kids actually spend only a small amount of time actually "working", when you take into account the registrations, assemblies, breaks, PE time, art/singing/dancing time, etc. You can spend quite a lot of the day doing "fun" things like arts & crafts, physical activities even just kicking or throwing a ball in the garden, or playing with tennis rackets etc, or going for a walk, etc.

At their age, you'd be doing fine (probably as much as they get in school) if you did an hour "formal" work in the morning, an hour in the afternoon, and then a reading "hour" in the evening. By that, I mean "proper" work, such as worksheets, reading a simple text book, etc. You can then fill in with another hour or two maybe watching factual TV programs, BBC bytesize, child-targetted documentaries, even You tube videos. The last thing you want to be doing is forcing them to formally sit at a table/desk for any longer than say 2 or 3 hours per day, and you're be better doing it in half hour chunks with some other learning activity inbetween (such as a BBC bytesize program to watch). Also don't forget that lots of museums etc are free entry and even those they may not be particularly interested in could still be a fun day out and educational to broaden their knowledge and view of the world, such as the national railway museum, science museum, natural history museum, and you could repeat visits after a few years - as they get older, they learn different things.

Obviously you need to research the curriculum to ensure you're broadly working in line with their school peer group based on age, etc., so that you're broadly covering the same topics, they're working broadly to average levels as regards literacy and numeracy, etc. You don't want them to be getting behind by you thinking they're doing ok but in reality they're a year or two behind their peer group!

Secondary years is a different kettle of fish, and will be particularly problematic when one is primary age and the other is secondary age. I presume your plan would be to send them to secondary schools as normal and just do HE for the primary years?? If not, then secondary years are a lot harder to do HE, especially if you were aiming for them doing GCSEs (and then A levels) at the usual ages as you're likely to struggle after the first couple of years when you start having to "teach" the GCSE subjects, not due to time (as even at secondary, a lot of the school day is pretty much wasted), but the complexity, and you need to know the subject yourself to be able to "teach" it to someone else. Although I did read quite a few posters on HE forums saying they were "learning together" with their child which seemed to work well, i.e. bouncing ideas of each other, struggling together to understand specific concepts, etc which seemed to improve the dynamic rather than the more "traditional" teacher and pupil roles!

I know someone who did it right from the start, never sent her kids to even primary school, one is current doing GCSEs and the other is doing A levels. She's never looked back and never regretted it, and from what she says, her kids have done well out of it, both aiming for Uni.

You've loads to think about and it's nothing to go into lightly, but if you've a pretty decent education yourself, then I think your own time and inclination, enthusiasm, etc., is more important than what you may think are practical difficulties such as them not having desks!

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