Home ed for teenagers

[ShepherdMoons]

We are currently homedding our dd who is 10 and really enjoying the freedom of home ed. We are doing a combination of online classes, forest school and local groups which is great.

Another mum recently mentioned that a lot of home ed children choose to go to school in their teenage years due to the social situation and wanting more independence. I just wondered how true this is and if we should think about secondary schools in the future. If anyone has experience of homedding teenagers we'd be glad for some insight and also any tips about social groups.

I think it depends on the HE family really. There are teen meet ups where we live, but daughter (just turned 13) has yet to engage with them. We decided that secondary school wasn’t for us, and plan to do a combination of IGCSES, Arts/CREST and IDEA awards instead. The only advantage with going through a state school is that you don’t pay for the exams etc. with HE you have to find an exam centre, pay for exams etc. She has just started her first IGCSE and is doing her Bronze Arts Award 2023/4

Not so true in our area. Depends on the personality of the young person (do they love being surrounded by other people all day long?) and how good the home ed social scene is. Of those who try secondary, some kids enjoy it and some decide the disadvantages outweigh the advantages.

If I were you, I'd ask in your local groups. I'm sure other parents will have some insight into how many teens are around.

One thing which is true among the young people I know in my area and elsewhere is that nearly all of those who are able to do so will choose to go to college or sixth form at 16. Neither of my own kids did so, but they are very much in the minority and we've had to work harder on keeping them happy socially.

With respect to independence, I definitely feel that DC1 had more opportunities for independence outside of school than in!

School has to treat all kids the same, and cannot say to one child, "I know you are responsible enough to do xyz, so go for it!" The result is that school rules tend to be very restrictive and infantilise older children. I mean, kids aren't even trusted to go to the toilet without restriction at school for fear they will cause trouble! Few schools will allow a 15yo to leave the site at lunchtime. They are expected to attend every lesson, even if they know the specific lesson won't be useful to them because they've already covered the material. They are told exactly what to wear. You can give your home educated child much more freedom because you know her and what she is capable of. You probably know her particularly well because you spend so much time together and you can observe her responses in a range of situations.

Having more time on their hands and mixing with a wider range of ages means they can do things alongside adults when they are ready to do so. As a teen, DC1 used to teach martial arts and computer skills to adults, had various paid and voluntary jobs, and took on a leadership role at the ladies' choir. I really don't think the "wrapped in cotton wool" stereotype of home educated kids holds true!

On the flip side, of course, if your child is not yet ready for independence, you can give them extra help and protection until they are. My younger DC has special needs and would be at risk if she did the things which other kids her age do.