Do you Cotton Wool your HE Children?

[discoverlife]

After taking part in two posts where childrens saftey came up I thought I would ask a broad range of questions to see if home Educated children are brought up wrapped in Cotton wool or smothered by motherly love (as one opponant to HE has said).

So does it bother you if

There is no net around a trampoline. At what age would you allow a child to bounce freely with out hovering at the edge.

If your child has or visited a house with a swimming pool, how much supervision would you give. Again at what age would you stop the hovering.

Do you get worried about them falling from a slide in the park, but let them climb tree's in the woods.

Do you let them use tools in the garage or shed. At what age did you start.

Do you let them handle sharp knives in the kitchen, or other implements. At what age.

Do you let them mow the lawn. At what age.

Im sure you can think of more. Give me your opinion.

Trampoline -- No net and unsupervised from age 8.

Swimming pool -- within earshot from age when they are confident swimmers. DS1 it was 7 years. DD 6 (very confident in the water), DS2 8.

I do worry about the slides at parks, that rubber stuff just doesn't feel as if it would actually cushion a fall, I much prefer leaf mulch any day.

Tools, Yes any age above 5 with supervision. From about 12 without.

Kitchen, Yes with supervision age 4 (I used to be a chef and DS1 is a Chef, all the knives in the house are as sharp as we can get them as a sharp knife is less dangerous than a blunt one.)

DS2 was mowing the lawn at 4 with very close supervision, because he wanted to. It took about 3 times as long to get it done and it was as ragged as hell, but he loved doing it.

So by todays mores am I an irresponsible parent for putting my children at risk? Or one that should be applauded for helping my children obtain skills that will be useful in their future life?

I come from a family of 6 who were all home-educated, and we were not cotton wooled! My grandad was horrified when he saw my two year old brother cutting out with kitchen scissors once, but we could all do things safely from an early age and the older ones used to supervise the younger ones.

The only way we were really protected was that when we lived on a main road we didn't go out to play, only when we moved to a quieter area. I very much agree that children should obtain skills at a young age, I like the whole Montessori idea of children doing as much as possible for themselves. Young children can be so independent anyway, I think they get a real sense of achievement from doing something "grown up".

My eldest is 5 so a lot of these don't apply, I think that I am quite overprotective of my kids, I like to be able to see them all of the time while we are out and they have 'rules' about certain places we visit, one of my biggest worries is syringes. I let them make their own mistakes when it's safe to so that they learn the dangers for themselves. My PIL are quite happy for the kids to run all around the house while they watch TV, their front door is often unlocked and they leave, sharp things, medicines , lighters and other assorted objects within reach, my nephew and neice are also there often, my nephew is autistic, I worry myself sick when they're there! Once when dd1 was about 3 she came home stinking of turps, turned out she'd fell in a bucket of the stuff in the kitchen ... I don't whether I'm being judged to be OTT by their standards or if I really am....!

I don't think that you are being ott about your Pil. In fact, I don't think I'd be willing to let my children go there without me being present to watch them.

No cotton wool here. ds1 was chopping kindling with an axe at 7. We don't have a lawn or garage tools but they a;lways helped with pruning from an early age.
Obviously I don't let them loose unsupervised with deadly weapons from 2 but after 5 I think kids are reasonably capable.
I do sometimes fret about water. ds2 was canooing on Lake Windemere at an HE camp last year. He's 12 and he can't swim. But he was wearing a life jacket and one of the other parents manned the rescue boat as there were 15 kids canooing or on boards.
I don't think HE'ers are any more cotton woolly than school parents to be honest.

sometimes I have no choice but I keep it to a minimum, when I complain (mostly to dh) all I get is 'we were brought up by them and we're OK'..... thanks for being on my side!!! anyway, I seem to have taken this thread off the track in which it started!

I think HE'ers are less cotton wooly because they have the time and confidence to supervise properly rather than leaving that type of thing up to school, (more cooking and woodworking) also HE'ers know what their kids are capable of!

I would say it depends on the child and on the situation regardless of whether you home-ed or not.

3Ddonut - "HE'ers know what their kids are capable of" I would say that knowing what your kids are capable of isn't just applicable to home-educators.

I never thought about Syringes in public places, goes to show what a complete and utterly rural person I am. But the DC's know about syringes because DH has to use them. (I am waiting in ATM for his next supply.)

Do you ever think that other Mums are 'horrified' by your relaxed attitude when they visit? I get it from the neighbor, in fact I think she has stopped her kids from coming around because of the lack of a net on the trampoline.

I'm not over-protective when it comes to physical play, any more than is appropriate (supervision with knives and so on).

But we are very protective, and deliberately so, about the information our children are exposed to. I think that's slightly different, though.

Exactly, MH. I see my job like acting as a filter while they are developing their reasoning muscles. When those muscles are strong enough, the filter won't be necessary, but right now it is.

Juule, you're right of course, I meant in regard to the fact that HE'ers spend more time with their kids than other Mum's and Dad's.

btw, I've named a few of you on the 'which MN names make you smile' thread, hope you don't mind and discoverlife, I love your name, but couldn't remember it at the time !!!