Moving yr 11 to Home Ed advice please!!

[Bobbinsbop]

I know moving to home Ed in yr 11 is not the ideal situation. Dd has been struggling with the school she’s at for a couple of years. She’s in tears every day after school and is becoming very low. We have spoken to the school before and nothing has changed. We have another meeting coming up but I’m now very worried about her mental health.
we are trying to research all options so I wondered if anyone had advice for home education in yr 11. I’ve done some googling but it’s a lot of information and a bit overwhelming.
I work part time so can be around to support learning but would need to use online resources.

as I said I know this isn’t ideal and that worries me but ultimately her mental health is priority.

I’d really appreciate any advice.

Hi Bobbins,
Year 11 is a really tricky time to move to EHE (elective home education) to be honest (both DH and I work in secondary schools). That said, if your DCs MH is seriously affected, I can completely understand why you are willing to consider anything.
Has your DCs school offered any pastoral support or referrals? CAMHS would not be worth looking at due to waiting lists and sadly the likelihood of not meeting thresholds (awful but true). Could you ask for a referral to school nursing service? You can also do this yourself, which may actually make the process quicker. Google school nurse service and your local council to find this. They offer MH and emotional support (short term, but a good start).
Is your DC still attending school regularly? If things don't improve the worry is they may begin refusing to go to school. If EHE is your thought process, chances are you and DC have already made your minds up. If DC has been a part of discussions on this, they would be unlikely to commit to any effort to return to school (from experience) therefore any meetings will likely now just be tick boxes on the schools part, to be able to refer to Local Authority attendance services which will be stressful for you both, but ultimately unlikely to lead to any actual legal implications in year 11.
Having said this, it's not easy to EHE. The LA your DC's education falls under should have a department that deals with applications and will oversee the 'education'. Google your local council and contact them for some advice. You will have to prove that you are providing the education adequately. You also need to be aware that you will have to pay for DC to sit their GCSEs. You can apply to most secondary schools or colleges if they offer external candidates.
It's a big commitment and can have (not necessarily deserved) implications with future employers.
Good luck if this is your decision.

There is an amazing Facebook group not fine in school which will offer lots of advice

She is attending school but begs me daily to let her stay off.
she has asked to be home schooled but I have said it’s unlikely we can do it. I’m doing some research without her knowing as I don’t want her to get her hopes up if it’s not doable.

the school have offered very little she did speak to an in school counsellor for a few weeks and that’s been it.

I will have a look into all the places suggested thank you

You're right that Y11 is not the ideal time to be starting home ed, but at the same time, you don't have the option of choosing to go back in time and do it a few years earlier. The question now is, what is the least bad option?

I would say it really depends how bad the effect is which school is having on your daughter's mental health. Mental health trumps everything. Education is important, but it's never too late to get a good education. It's true that GCSEs are easier to get via school, this year, if that's an option, but the toll that takes on your daughter may be too high.

It may be too late already to jump ship and sit exams as a private candidate. Some GCSEs are not accessible to private candidates, and so home ed kids often do IGCSEs instead. It's a completely equivalent qualification, but the specification is different and in some subjects that means significant extra work. You'd need to find one or more exam centres which take private candidates; not all centres will offer all the subjects you want. Some will be fully booked by now, and the registration deadline for others will have passed.

If school is intolerable, it may be worth taking your daughter out and then stopping to take a breath while she recovers, and she takes stock of her overall situation. Exams at 16 are not compulsory. Schools act as if they were, because there's a lot of pressure on schools to push kids through as many exams as possible by that age in order to "prove" the school has educated its children well. But outside the school system, it's a different picture. You can do exams at any age. You can do as many or as few as you want. You can spread them over several years to reduce stress. You can wait until after 16 and do some GCSEs at college for free. All colleges will have some catch-up options, though they won't offer the same range of subjects that schools do.

Most home ed kids who have the capacity for GCSEs do at least a handful at some stage. Some don't. My eldest did one GCSE at 19 and another at 20 and is now doing very well at uni in an arts subject.

So your daughter could leave school now and focus her learning on something other than achieving a set of exam results in the next six months. That is perfectly legal. What does she love doing, academic or otherwise? What makes her come alive? That is often the key to restoring mental health.

This is exactly my problem I have with my daughter right now.year 11 just turned 16.some bullying involved as well by some other girls.thankyou saracen for the very helpful advice.bobbinsbop I hope you get on OK with your daughter too.

We live abroad but same syllabuses. Just about to deregister dd(14/Year 10) from school. She tried a maths lesson on AWE online schooling website and loved it. We are thinking of doing maths, english language and literature through them. The exam board is different to what she was doing so may start new. And I have to find a mandarin tutor for her. Hopefully we can do business studies from books and utube. She will do 5 subjects only. She has had high anxiety all her life which resulted in completely not being able to go to school. Also, having her assessed for autism, adhd. Wish I had done years ago. Her mental health is more important. You can always give it a break and either do Year 11 again either at school or online.

I'm at this stage with my Y10 DD... It feels late. Don't know if this depends on LA but many offer education other than schooling (EOTAS) which is tutoring in maths english science. Its aimed at kids who cant attend school due to illness but that includes MH. And as you are looking at term only could work for you

How far along is she with her GCSE courses - how is she doing academically - will school allow her to register for the exams but deregister from school - would she want to do that? Does she want to sit her exams this year?

Would a time away from it all allow her to reset and find out what she wants to do?

On the other side of things:
Does she have things that she enjoys doing outside of school, friends, can you focus on these for a while?

It’s very difficult as a parent when you have a child that hates school, I had one too, so I empathise.

Are school aware that you are thinking of taking her out?

What are her future plans? Is she reliant on GCSE passes for a college course?

My DS wanted to do apprenticeship, he had day release from school from year 10, for work experience, this really helped him to cope with school, knowing he had that break from school one day a week. Perhaps something like that could be suggested?

Good luck with whatever you decide.

Hi all

I have just informed the school that my DS who is 15 in year 10 will be leaving next week. We have suspected a very mild ADHD or similar and "the system" (not the school) is utterly broken. By the time he qualifies for any extra help IF he has any diagnosis, he will have failed his GCSEs. Mainstream school is perfect for perfect for your average child. I had two daughters in that category - hardworking, achieving, no additional educational needs - who passed GCSEs, A Levels are are doing degrees. So we are removing him so I can help him get at least Maths and English GCSE next year.

I'd be SO SO grateful if there are any parents who could advise me on GCSE home help before I enrol him on something online!

Also - well done to the parents who are doing whatever they can to help their kids. Year 1 or Year 11, making these decisions for the health and mental well-being of your children, is a big one but I hate to say it (and please teacher, don't come at me), their schooling is NOT everything. Learning is far more than that.

Excuse my typos in that last message!

Hi @LM1979 !

In terms of the timing for exam registrations and covering all of the syllabus, spring 2024 should be possible if your son feels ready. At the same time, there is nothing magic about the age of 16 for GCSE. Only at school do they stick rigidly to a fixed age for exams regardless of whether that's in the young person's best interests. Knowing that might help take the pressure off your son.

The usual advice to new home educators is not to jump into anything too soon. It will take some time to explore the options. Online school might not be the best choice. Definitely don't sign up for any programme now which requires significant financial commitment - what if it doesn't suit?! It might be just as bad as school, and you'd feel stuck with it.

You could instead start of by letting your son do self-directed learning about whatever interests him, whether that involves baking or computer games or playing the guitar. That can be a good way for kids who have struggled in the school system to recover their self-esteem and reconnect with their enthusiasm for learning. Meanwhile you could quietly investigate what is on offer for GCSEs if he is keen to start those now, or what other opportunities might exist to branch out into something else if he isn't.

I suggest finding other local home educators, who will be able to point you towards suitable college courses or social opportunities, and maybe reassure you that there are many different educational routes leading to happiness. If you go on Facebook and type into the FB search bar "home education" followed by the name of your nearest big town or your county, you should be able to find something.

By the way, you may want to start your own thread because people might not notice your post here.

I'm so glad I found this thread. My dd is in year 10, has exams next month. She is so so unhappy at school, texts me every day saying how lonely she is, can't concentrate in class because she is so stressed.
She isn't considered 'bad' enough mental health wise for CAMHS but has some time with a counsellor last year. It hasn't helped. School tbf, have tried to help - she has a pass for time out of the classroom, teachers try not to put her on the spot in class. But the whole environment is just too stressful for her. Not helped by teenage girl politics and their psychological warfare on each other!

I've just emailed her school to discuss next steps - I'm on the verge of deregistering but it feels so drastic and I'm terrified of getting it wrong. I don't know where to start tbh. Her older siblings were mostly fine in school - didn't love it but were more mentally able to cope with it.

@ImAvingOops
I just saw your post and didn’t want it to go unanswered.
I'm so sorry for what your daughter is going through. Sadly her story is becoming all too common. As a home educator I meet families like yours more and more frequently each month.

My opinion is that health and happiness are far more important than passing exams at age 16. Exams can be taken in stages and spread out if necessary at a later stage. Are you in a position to take her out and have her at home for a while and give her chance to get well? You could hold off on deregistration for a while and see how she is or you could go ahead and fully deregister her now. I know it’s daunting but it’s becoming increasingly normal to do this as the education system falls apart.

In terms of home education, it’s usually advisable to give her a period of ‘deschooling’ which is basically some time to get back to herself and get well. Meanwhile you could research some online options for her and take baby steps to get her looking at some subjects that she enjoys. There are SO many options nowadays for learning without school. Google being the obvious one lol. But honestly so many resources available both free of charge and not free of charge. What are her interests?

I hope this helps a little. There are more people on here who have older DC than mine that can maybe help you further. Good luck x

Thank you @homeeddingwitch it was really kind of you to reply.