'I'm happy again' said DS2 the day after I told him I'd home educate him.

[milou2]

It had to get this bad for me to act with strength and determination...he was in an acute state on Friday night, the only phrase I know to describe it. He was rushing round the house pulling plastic bags over his head, and so I was following him at the speed of light using my thumbs to break open the plastic and make sure he didn't lock himself in the bathroom where I couldn't get to him quickly.

I held his hands, sitting beside him and said very clearly that I loved him and DS1 more than anyone else, more than Daddy, more than mil. If he needed to be home educated then I would do it, for him.

He seemed calmer, so I left him and DS1 to get the EO card that children can show when they are out in public. I showed it to him and said this is for you. I explained that all I had to do was write a letter to deregister him.

A bit later we were in the kitchen and he came up to me and gave me a big wraparound hug

The conversation I had with my husband the next morning when he came back from China was firm and non negotiable. Amongst other things I said that maybe one day he'd be grateful to have me willing to 'kick shit' on his behalf. That told him.

It feels wierd being tough, but so good to see DS2 start to climb around the aga again, be cheeky and funny, stop complaining about a single health problem.

I went up to school an hour ago with the letter. The head came out and I could feel myself getting scared of him, he said have we upset you as I said I'm going home now.

Thanks everyone.

Gosh, don't know the story but it sounds like your ds has had a terrible time. If you can HE him, that sounds like a good option.

GOOD FOR YOU for sticking up for him! Good luck with it - HE isn't for me, but I have huge respect for those that do it and make it work.

Oh, good for you, you are putting your children first and it's great that you are making him happy. I hope it all works out for you, there seems to be so much support for HE now. Good luck and great decision.

i'm welling up reading this!! how old is ds?

Well done Milou - your ds is a very lucky boy to have you as a mum!

Hope it goes well for you and your ds. Sounds like his school must have been grim.

Gone all sniffly.

Well done!

milou2
I can so relate to your story of an unhappy ds.
My son wanted to end his life 7 years ago when we found out about home ed and deregistered him and his two sisters.

Since then happy people have lived in our house

We have lived a joyful life together and the children are well educated, self confident young people who have a social life that is the envy of their schooled peers and cousins.

Our ds has A levels and a job and a life that he enjoys, and he is deciding whether to go on to uni as a mature student next year.

I'd strongly suggest going and finding home educators locally and if you like camping, why not come along to the home ed camps and gatherings that happen all over the country through out the summer?
We did and now have a massive circle of home ed friends locally and nationally.

I really no idea what a big supportive community of home educating families there are out here, until we turned our backs on school.

Welcome to the world of home education!
If you have any questions, just fire away!

Good for you, milou.
As someone who has also had to "kick shit" to save a DS from an education system that was harming me, I can tell you that you will never look back.
It does seem terrifying at first, but soon you'll be wondering where all the stress has gone.
Allow yourselves lots of time to deschool, and just enjoy being together.
And keep posting.

Welcome to the club Milou2.
Keep in touch with us, where in the country are you?

julienoshoes I thought that the EO gathherings had been cancelled for the forseeable future? There isn't anything up and coming in the diary.

yes as far as I know the official EO gatherings have been cancelled for now. Insurance issues I believe.

There is an Home Education Information day coming up-somewhere in London.

And other non EO HE gatherings and camps will still be happening, no doubt-locally and nationally-it's still a bit early for dates to be announced-althoughHesFes dates and ticket prices have been announced-but no details yet of what workshops are planned or musical acts, or other happenings there-but it is early days.

We have just put our names down for the first of the local HE gatherings and roll on HesFes and Peak Camp.
Just keep reading the EO newsletter-things usually start to appear around April IIRC.

It might be best if he doesn't climb on the aga, though.......

Hi, DS2 is 10 yrs old.

Our first project is to chill out. I went upstairs a little while ago, he asked me to remember his fastest lap time for him, then sat on my knee while he playstationed round a race track a few times.

I was scared about telling mil who lives next door, he held my hand and gently pulled it. I said but I have to phone my friend first, so he waited while I did that, then we stood hand in hand in front of her door and he kept on looking at me meaningfully until I told her.

After 3o/c 2 friends from his class came and banged on the door and asked him to come up to the playground to watch a match which was on. So we went and they larked about together. I said to a couple of mums there that I'm more than happy to help them out by picking up their children and having them to play so DS2 can enjoy their company.

The school is brilliant for most children, just not right in some deep way for DS2. The head said he is most welcome at the end of term disco and other events.

I feel quite wobbly and in shock. Some daytime tv and gentle reading of Top Gear magazine will be just right for tomorrow.

Hi Blu, no he doesn't do it all day long! It's just something he used to do and I'd forgotten about it.

Well done on making that difficult leap - you will never regret it. I only Home Educated my daughter for the end of Primary School but it was the most wonderful time (and she wished she had done it for much, much longer!). She was happy to go into Secondary School to try it and she did stay in - but knew she could have started Home Education at any point. You are going to have a great time!

Lovely message, delighted to read that you have achieved so much for you and for your ds2.

NOT FAIR! (mini strop), I can't do HESFES this year, we will be away in Portugal instead. It looks really cool.

Great that your decision has made him so happy.

Wish I'd taken DS2 out of school when I first spotted the signs ("Mummy, is it OK if I kill myself so I don't have to go to school tomorrow?" - at teatime, aged 5 .) We spent the next 4 years trying to help him cope with school and when I finally de-registered him when he was 9 he was overjoyed.

Enjoy your new freedom and your happy boy!

Well done Milou. We just withdrew our eldest two from school and next 2 from nursery the start of this term and it is like someone came and brought the sun back. Deschooling is taking longer than we thought but slowly they are all coming back. Trouble is a thoughtful mumsnetter posted a link to summerhill and now I wonder if they'd be happier there? although they have been watching it and asking if we can have it here at home I wonder if that is workable?
Congratulations though, here's to happy times.

Sometimes, I wish (well, I don't but I do) that my dd had experienced school. She's nearly 7. Sometimes, I think she takes her cushy life for granted because she has no comprehension of what it would be like at school. She sometimes complains that she wants more time to play (she gets MASSES) and I can't get through to her how much less time she would have free if she was at school. Oh well...

LOL!
Our three (who suffered school til they were 13, 11 and 8) are sure that they will home educate their children-but go through fazes where they comment that they may well send their children to school for a little while-just so they know how wonderful it is to be home educated!

They believe that their HE friends who have never been to school simply don't realise how lucky they are.

Then they reconsider and say that no they wouldn't be that mean to their own kids!

mine know how lucky they are now. They tried going back into school and it was rosey for, oh, about a week now after a few weeks back out of school they are trying to convert our place into summerhull mark 2, HELP.....

What a lucky boy!