DS with ASD wants to go back to school

[MaleniaHomeEd]

Hello. My DS is 13 and I have been home educating since he was 11. He has ASD (Autism spectrum disorder), which is also sometimes referred to as Aspergers. I took him out of school in year 6 as he was struggling to cope at school, and he wasn't happy there for a substantial period of time before I made the decision to do HE. He is academically able but struggles socially. There has been one significant drawback to HE that I haven't been able to find a way around, despite trying very hard. DS has said he feels lonely and isolated. He does not have any friends and rarely socialises with anyone outside of me, his dad and grandparents. This is what I was worried may happen when I originally decided to HE, and unfortunately it has transpired.

I've searched extensively for other HE groups, or even just other individual families who do HE and are local, but I've not found any who are located anywhere remotely near us. DS has a few cousins, but they are all older than him and haven't shown any interest in inviting him to anything. I've tried to initiate things myself, but I obviously can't force them to like DS. He feels like he is missing out on everything by not being in school. I don't really know what to do at this point. If he went back to school now, he would have to go to the local state comprehensive school, which has been performing poorly for several years. It has also been threatened with closure a few times. I think that if he went back, he would just end up having the same problems that he was having in primary school, but significantly worse. Has anyone else been in a similar situation where a DC wants to go back to school?

Are there any therapeutic ASD specialist schools you could send him too? Or any small independent schools? Does he already have an EHCP, you could get (probably with an appeal) an independent or independent specialist school named abs funded via the EHCP. Alternatively are there any state specialist schools that would be suitable. I would be considering the above options before looking at state mainstream.

Does DS have an EHCP?

Hi there, We are going through something similar with dd. She has been HE for 18th d due to social anxiety most likely has underlying asd. She has decided to return to school as we've not managed to find other teens for her to be friends with. We have just managed to start accessing support through EBSA and have an early help worker now in place to support us in looking for and returning to school.

@Sockpile Locally, options for schools for DS beyond the state comprehensive school I originally mentioned are limited. There are some private schools relatively locally, but we can't really afford to send him to one. I'll have a look into specialist schools again. DS does have an EHCP, but my experience of them is that they often aren't worth the paper they are written on. Support from the LA has been virtually non-existent since starting HE.

@stardust40 I wish you and your DD all the best. I haven't heard of EBSA before but I'm looking into it now.

Could he make friends outside of education - does he have an interest/ hobby where he can meet others? Is there a local group for those with similar social issues that he could attend on an evening/weekend?

If DS has an EHCP you don’t need to be able to afford the school fees. Independent mainstream and independent special schools can be named in EHCPs so the LA pay the fees and for any additional support.

A detailed, specified and quantified EHCP is worth its weight in gold. However, a vague and woolly EHCP isn’t worth the paper it is written on. If you have the latter it needs tightening up, then you can enforce it if the provision in section F isn’t provided. By EHE you are relieving the LA of their duties, which is probably why there has been limited support for you, very few parents get a personal budget when EHE. But, if you stop EHE the LA must provide the provision, and if there isn’t a suitable school EOTAS is possible.