Home education for secondary

[BananasApplesKiwi]

Hello
We are considering home education for our year 7 child due to school refusal

Is there anything I should know or any advice or tips anyone who has done this can give me

What do you mean by "school refusal"?

@IDidntKnowItWasAParty

What do you mean by "school refusal"?

She can’t manage to go to school. Too anxious, cries, shakes . Possibly asd plus already has other health issues. Totally overwhelmed can’t manage to get in

My top tip is, do it now. Don't wait. Two reasons:

Your daughter is so overwhelmed by school she won't be managing to learn much. All of her energy is wasted in fear and stress. Even when she isn't at school, she may well have such high stress levels about school that it dominates her life. The sooner you can get her out of there, the sooner she can start to feel better. Good mental health is priceless, and what's more, once she's happier she will learn better.

Second, you should know that GCSEs (if she does them. She doesn't have to. But most home ed kids do) are tricky to arrange. It's a complicated thing for parents to master, but luckily other home ed parents will be very helpful. You can figure it out, but it takes time. By starting home ed now, in Y7, you can have an easy, less stressful transition. You and your child have a few years to explore and learn without worrying about choosing exam subjects and methods and deciding when and where to sit them and facing deadlines.

Don't leave her in school much longer. If you do, you may face the double whammy of even worse mental health combined with exam stress. (As I say, she doesn't HAVE to sit exams, and if she does, it doesn't have to be at the same age when her schooled peers do them. But many teens have had it drummed into them at school that education is all about GCSEs, and they may feel like failures if they don't do GCSEs at 16 like "everybody else".) By taking her out now, you give her time to recover from school and have some fun before starting to think about exams.

Mine thrives in high school after some hellish periods of refusal in primary. I wouldn't make the decision to home school without first giving it a go. High school is very different to primary and can suit some kids much better.

@Saracen

My top tip is, do it now. Don't wait. Two reasons:

Your daughter is so overwhelmed by school she won't be managing to learn much. All of her energy is wasted in fear and stress. Even when she isn't at school, she may well have such high stress levels about school that it dominates her life. The sooner you can get her out of there, the sooner she can start to feel better. Good mental health is priceless, and what's more, once she's happier she will learn better.

Second, you should know that GCSEs (if she does them. She doesn't have to. But most home ed kids do) are tricky to arrange. It's a complicated thing for parents to master, but luckily other home ed parents will be very helpful. You can figure it out, but it takes time. By starting home ed now, in Y7, you can have an easy, less stressful transition. You and your child have a few years to explore and learn without worrying about choosing exam subjects and methods and deciding when and where to sit them and facing deadlines.

Don't leave her in school much longer. If you do, you may face the double whammy of even worse mental health combined with exam stress. (As I say, she doesn't HAVE to sit exams, and if she does, it doesn't have to be at the same age when her schooled peers do them. But many teens have had it drummed into them at school that education is all about GCSEs, and they may feel like failures if they don't do GCSEs at 16 like "everybody else".) By taking her out now, you give her time to recover from school and have some fun before starting to think about exams.

Thank you this is so helpful

Also agree, do it now however, I’d be mindful in the language you use around her regarding it and the help for anxiety she has too.

My old housemate and close friend was home educated for similar reasons as a teenager (y8 I think). As an adult she associates feeling anxious with stopping what she was doing and going home. We lived together whilst she was at uni and she talked about how hard it was to push herself not to want to quit uni every time she found it hard, and during the lockdowns she struggled more than other people. She graduated, and is in a job she loves but she needed a lot of support to build her resilience and would say she wished she learnt that earlier.

It you don’t actually want to EHE but feel forced in to it due to DD’s needs the LA have a statutory duty to provide education to those unable to attend school. In addition to this you should apply for an EHCNA.

I’m sorry to hear your daughter has had such a hard time at school.

Given her stress levels, if you are able to, I’d suggest you deregister asap and decide later if this is forever, or eg just for 6-12 months. You don’t have to decide now. You may discover options on your journey like alternative schools (eg there’s a drop in school for teens in Brighton I think).

There are facebook groups that can give you good info, I think Home education UK and there will also be local groups. Mumsnet has some good info (but also a lot of bored trolls) Facebook may be more helpful.

@Thirtytimesround

I’m sorry to hear your daughter has had such a hard time at school.

Given her stress levels, if you are able to, I’d suggest you deregister asap and decide later if this is forever, or eg just for 6-12 months. You don’t have to decide now. You may discover options on your journey like alternative schools (eg there’s a drop in school for teens in Brighton I think).

There are facebook groups that can give you good info, I think Home education UK and there will also be local groups. Mumsnet has some good info (but also a lot of bored trolls) Facebook may be more helpful.

Yes perhaps a temporary stop and think and recover phase is needed, which I assume needs to be with her de registered as you can’t just be signed off but still registered at a school I don’t think ? I suppose if she then feels better we could reapply and she could rejoin it’s always an option

Yes, you can still be on roll but not attending if DD is not able to attend, including for mental health reasons. The LA have a statutory duty under s.19 The Education Act 1996 to provide suitable alternative education then. What medical needs EOTAS tuition consists of varies depending on your LA and the pupil’s individual needs but it can be home tuition, online, hospital school, small group tuition in a centre…

But, if you deregister and EHE the LA will say you are making suitable alternative education and therefore they are relieved of their duties.

If you google your LA and medical needs EOTAS tuition you may be able to see what team is responsible for it in your LA. If you can’t and would like me to look PM me your LA and I will see what I can find.

If you deregister and later decide to reapply there is no guarantee you will get a place.

You can remain registered at the school while pursuring other routes, though talking with the school attendance officer is advised. Schools can arrange alternative provisions, including online learning, though this is generally meant to be as part of working to return to school and can take awhile to put in place.

I agree with Saracen that things need to be done asap, but I also agree with Imitatingdory that there may be other routes to pursue and has given great advice on how to do so. I would not recommend deregistering with intent to reregister unless the school is significantly undersubscribed and likely to remain so.

If you do want to home educate, I agree with Saracen about exploring how that would work for you - I'm more on the structured side and found at that age it was useful to use resources where they can self check and things where it's more of a discussion. Practicals can also be fun though sometimes more awkward at home. Getting into a good routine is important, I think, particularly for children who get anxious or otherwise struggle with emotional dysregulation.

It may be an idea to look at your local college options - it may be a while off, but I've found many who've withdrawn from school in secondary find it eases thinking to see what options there are. Many colleges now do GCSE programmes at Y12 ages where kids who are home educated or for other reasons do not get the desired 5+ GCSEs at good grades can continue on. Some even have programmes from Y9 onward though those have been cut a bit with COVID.

Whilst the aim of medical needs tuition is normally to reintegrate back to school it doesn’t necessarily have to be the same school, and even if it is it could be the same school but with more support. And if school isn’t suitable at the moment at all medical needs tuition can be provided until an EHCP is in place and EOTAS via that organised.