I'm worried about my nephew

StaringAtLightbulbs · 18/12/2021 20:44

What do you mean by games?

If its board games/ creative play then good on your sister, it'll all be fine.

If you mean computer/ tablet then I agree it's awful and he's better in school. You probably can't do anything though.

Original poster

FairyLights2 · 18/12/2021 20:45

@FairyLights2

My nephew is being 'homeschooled' but he's 6 years old and can't read a single book. Im super worried! His mum doesn't believe children need formal education before the age of 7. Nothing I say will change her mind. Instead of being interested in books. My nephew plays games for hours.

Is there anything I can do? She's turned down any help!

EDIT: *Instead of being interested in books, my nephew...

OP posts:

Original poster

FairyLights2 · 18/12/2021 20:47

@StaringAtLightbulbs

What do you mean by games?

If its board games/ creative play then good on your sister, it'll all be fine.

If you mean computer/ tablet then I agree it's awful and he's better in school. You probably can't do anything though.

Video games.

Why do you say good on her? Even if I was talking about board games, isn't it worrying that he can't read at age 6?

OP posts:

StaringAtLightbulbs · 18/12/2021 20:53

No I don't think it is worrying in itself. There is no evidence that learning to read pre 7 is beneficial, and lots of evidence that play based learning is better.

Homeschooling a 6 year old, allowing them to explore their own ideas and be creative before formal teaching is a very valid choice (I would think the child might show some interest in learning to read bean 6 and 8).

Just letting a child play computer games it's actively damaging their brain.

StaringAtLightbulbs · 18/12/2021 21:00

To put it another way, there's nothing special about reading as a skill set that age. Cooking, climbing, drawing, building, socialising...... all excellent things to be learning. Computer games however teach only one narrow skill set. I would be almost as worried if she were drilling phonics 8 hours a day and nothing else.

BestZebbie · 18/12/2021 21:15

Also, is he definitely playing “computer games” rather than doing any educational apps? My son would describe things like Reading Eggs and Slice fractions as “playing games on the tablet” at that age.

Saracen · 18/12/2021 22:04

I can see why you would be worried. If your nephew were at school, being unable to read at six would disadvantage him. At school, as kids get older, education is increasingly delivered via reading, and children are increasingly assessed via writing. There, they do fall behind if they can't read. Not only that, but their self-esteem takes a big hit too, because reading is emphasised to such a degree. It's tough for them

Outside of school, that doesn't have to be the case. There are many other ways kids can learn, including having discussions with adults, observing the world, experimenting through play, and watching documentaries. For home educated children who have this broader range of learning techniques and resources, there is no particular advantage in learning to read early rather than late.

Home education really looks very different from school-based learning. The same rules of thumb do not apply.

Saracen · 18/12/2021 22:13

If you want to help your nephew, there are many things you can do. Phone him up and chat with him about things which interest him. Send him letters. Buy him a subscription to a kids' magazine. Send him educational toys you think he might like. If you live close enough, take him to museums and historical sites; if you are too far away, ask his parents whether they could use a pass to visit, or just suggest places which fit with his interests.

A caring auntie or uncle can be an invaluable resource for a child. And as you become more involved with your nephew, you'll be able to see for yourself how much he is learning and whether there is really cause for concern.

But there's no need to be too focused on reading. At this age is only a small piece of the picture.

FWIW, neither of my kids were interested in learning to read until after the age of six. They still got a good education and eventually became fluent readers.

AppleButterfly · 08/01/2022 14:07

Education is compulsory the term after their 5th Birthday, are they known to the LA?
I'd be quite concerned that he is playing video games all day and not educating when it is legally required to do so.
The measure is progress, not compared to schools, so some may still be mastering letters and others reading chapter books at 6. But it doesn't sound like any progress or education is taking place.
Depending on your relationship, you can talk about the effects of too much gaming z/ screen time. Especially in the early years. Sadly, some home educators use video games to educate, school of Minecraft.... Home education can be a wonderful and rich experience, but it isn't always. But there is a lot of support for this style online, echo chamber. I'm not really sure what you can do if she won't accept help though. There's some Minecraft workbooks you could maybe gift, perhaps with a couple of other Minecraft gifts sp it looks like a themed present rather than a 'I don't think you're doing enough' which won't be well met.

AppleButterfly · 08/01/2022 14:10

You could maybe alert the LA they are home educating, and they will discuss her provision with her.
It doesn't sound like they know about her. Some do slip through the net and the council never have a clue that they exist/ being home educated , I remember s documentary on Channel 4 and somehow a boy had got to 16 without being able to read or write!! The mother seemed quite proud he had other interests- graffiti was one!

Bitofachinwag · 08/01/2022 14:14

@AppleButterfly

You could maybe alert the LA they are home educating, and they will discuss her provision with her. It doesn't sound like they know about her. Some do slip through the net and the council never have a clue that they exist/ being home educated , I remember s documentary on Channel 4 and somehow a boy had got to 16 without being able to read or write!! The mother seemed quite proud he had other interests- graffiti was one!

Nobody"slips through the net". There is no "net" ad you don't have to tell the LA that you are home educating.

OP in some countries children don't start school until they are 6 or 7. Are you also concerned about all the the children in those countries?

saraclara · 08/01/2022 14:30

You're only going to get one kind of answer on this particular board OP. Everyone here home schools so they're understandably defensive of any criticism.

Not introducing reading until 6 or 7 isn't necessarily a problem at all. But not being read to could be. And certainly if these are not educational games that he's spending hours on instead of 'schooling', then yes, it's concerning.

Without knowing what his mum's plans are for his education when he's seven, it's hard to know whether she's being reasonable or not. But I don't think there's much you can do either way. And lecturing her is likely to make her dig in all the more.

Is there a dad around? If so, what's his take on it?

AppleButterfly · 08/01/2022 14:34

No you don't have to tell them. But the vast majority of home educators are known to the LA. And they give annual reports of the child's progress. There isn't yet a required by law register but each LA has a register and most home educated children are on it. The few that aren't may be receiving a fantastic rich education or they might end up 16 and unable to read and write - those are the children falling through the net and suffering from educational neglect.

Bitofachinwag · 08/01/2022 14:44

AppleButterfly how do you know most HE children are known to LAs when nobody knows how many children are HE in this country? In my experience most are unknown.

Being known to.the.LA doesn't mean that the.child.will be able to read at 16. LAs don't have the right to ask to look at.written work or to test.the.children.

Finally, what do you call it when children leave.school without being able to read or write? Did they also "fall through the net"?

AppleButterfly · 08/01/2022 15:02

In my experience of various groups if anyone asks about submitting their first report, everyone says the LA was fine with them. I've actually not encountered anyone with a child over 6 not known. But I suppose it isn't beyond the realms of possibility that the ones not known aren't very active in the real life home ed community.

Progress to the child's ability is what is important. And if there is no disabilities involved, then yes the school would have failed them too. I could write an essay on why I didn't choose school. But I don't think doing feck all except playing video games is a good example of home education. It gives us all a bad name. Home Ed isn't isn't really a respected choice in this country, people tend to assume you sit around doing nothing all day... Although in my experience these people exist in the Facebook groups, but again perhaps there are tons locally but they don't attend any groups.

I don't follow the NC and certainly don't want my children to do tests or any loops to jump through, but people 'educating' like this I'm quite concerned it is going to happen.

LondonQueen · 08/01/2022 16:16

@AppleButterfly

Education is compulsory the term after their 5th Birthday, are they known to the LA? I'd be quite concerned that he is playing video games all day and not educating when it is legally required to do so. The measure is progress, not compared to schools, so some may still be mastering letters and others reading chapter books at 6. But it doesn't sound like any progress or education is taking place. Depending on your relationship, you can talk about the effects of too much gaming z/ screen time. Especially in the early years. Sadly, some home educators use video games to educate, school of Minecraft.... Home education can be a wonderful and rich experience, but it isn't always. But there is a lot of support for this style online, echo chamber. I'm not really sure what you can do if she won't accept help though. There's some Minecraft workbooks you could maybe gift, perhaps with a couple of other Minecraft gifts sp it looks like a themed present rather than a 'I don't think you're doing enough' which won't be well met.

Sorry but you are wrong here. It is perfectly legal to home educate your children. They will be known to the LA as school admissions would be chasing her if not. You must provide full time education but you do not need to follow the national curriculum. The OP can report to the LA if she believes she is not teaching her DS appropriately. My guess is that the "video games" are maths games and the like on an iPad. Games which we also use in schools!

AppleButterfly · 08/01/2022 16:38

Where an earth did I say it wasn't legal to home educate or you have to follow the national curriculum?
I actually said I don't follow the national curriculum. And that progress is what matters. Legally education has to be provided the term after a child's 5th birthday which is correct.
They won't necessarily be known to the LA, if they are doing nothing but playing video games, OP hasn't said they are educational so I assume it's Minecraft, mario and whatever else, they wouldn't have much to say in their report so I'd be surprised if they are known. Educational neglect does happen. But there's nothing OP can do other than offer educational materials or alert the LA they're home educating, so they provide an annual report to LA.