Homeschooling or flexi schooling is it possible

[Rosiered91]

Hopefully im in the right place!
I've always wanted to look into home schooling my 2 children (4&7) lockdown made me so happy, I actually really enjoyed spending time with them. We were learning things like telling the time before they were learning it at school. My then 3 year old was learning lots befitting nursery school. I really help with any anxieties I had about school. I suffer with a phobia of vomit and also in the winter months my anxiety is sky high due to the constant tummy bugs and cold and flush coming home. In the summer I feel I'm on top of it.
Since September my 7 year old had, 2 colds, flu and bad case of bullying including q broken arm from the bully. I felt and still feel helpless for him.
My 3 year old has had a chest infection, colds and flu, sickness bugs and constant falls and bangs at school.... again. Helpless and anxiety high!
I was tempted by home schooling full time, but feel maybe the social side of it for the children wouldn't be good. Im not sure.
I did some reading on flexi schooling where they go in maybe Monday and Tuesday and have the rest of the week off. This sounds OK. This would help me, but would it help them? Am I being selfish. I also though something ridiculous like maybe if they stay home September - february and school march - July not including the summer holidays. But again though, am I being selfish with putting my anxiety first. Is this even a possibility. I know I'd give it my all and be calmer knowing they're safe and healthy at home.
I'm just really stuck right now, my son is constantly saying he hates school because of the bully, he's also been offered an opportunity with a side helper because he's falling back. I know he's dully capable but clearly not doing well at school. My daughter is doing well, we did loads before nursery and she's doing well in reception... minus all the illnesses. I was wondering if anyone had any advice on this situation anything similar, all honest opinions welcome. Throw them at me.
Thanks in advance!! And sorry for rambling.

Sorry for all the auto corrections and typos

My understanding is that flexischooling is entirely up to the discretion of the school. You would need to talk with the head.

Honestly though, while it might help the sickness aspect it won't solve bullying. You're better off homeschooling full time.

I'd recommend reaching out to homeschool groups in your area so there are meetups etc that your children can go to so there's still plenty of social aspect to their weeks.

So you're thinking about homeschooling because of your anxiety? I don't think you can flexischool in England, you're in or out. Why haven't the school sorted the bullying? If they've tried, why haven't you moved him?

We've had numerous meetings over bullying, nothing gets done. Each year has 2 or 3 classes, they won't separate them. "Boys will be boys" has been used a lot by the school. Even the day my sons arm was broken, the bully denied and the teacher wasn't watching. Luckily other kids were and agreed it was the boy. We thought this was a sort of one off case with the odd mean word here and there. However we looked at our shared xbox and saw this boy has messaged every week since March! Not massive words as they're 7, things like idiot, ugly, im better than you, I hate you etc. We took a picture and showed the head. She said she would have a word and nothing was done. The only other schools in catchment are full in the year group of his. There are a few places out of catchment and we are currently looking into moving. We've had our house valuation done and taken the first steps.

I feel a bit trapped right now. I've thought maybe home school until we move in to another area. The whole missing friends thing doesn't really bother them right now, my 7 year old doesn't want to be at school and my 4 year old has just started reception where kids of other nursery schools have gone into.

I will join q few homeschooling groups and see what we have in area and make note of our options and what they all get up to.
I'm not sure if flexi school is an option in our area, I read up on it via the gov.uk website I didnt think it was even an option. Thank you 😊

Irrelevant of whether you choose to home ed, you need to hold the school to account for the bullying. Follow the complaint process, and if it doesn't get resolved then write to the governors.

You need to figure out very clearly WHY you want to home school and make sure all the reasons are about your children and whether it benefits them or not.
It is not supposed to be about making life easier for you. Avoiding bugs because of YOUR anxieties is NOT a reason to remove them from school.
Flexi-schooling is very unlikely in this country. Schools don’t like it as it’s very difficult to facilitate from their end.
If your children are unhappy at school, struggling and not making good progress then these are reasonable reasons to consider home education.
It is not a decision to be taken lightly and you need to make sure you can support your children academically as they get older. Also what social opportunities will you provide to replace school?
It might be right for you but make sure your doing it properly!

Some heads will agree to flexischooling so I wouldn’t write it off completely. Doesn’t sound like a very good school though with regard to the bullying!
Would definitely be sensible to find out what goes on in your area for home Ed kids to gauge if there would be enough social opportunities.

Given that your eldest hates school, has been badly bullied there and is getting ill constantly, home ed is the obvious solution in the short term at least. I would take him out immediately, find your feet, see how it goes, and then decide whether you want to carry on or find another school.

If your younger one is happy enough at school despite the illnesses, maybe leave her in for the time being. Of course, though she likes school, she might like home ed even better. Once you and your son have got stuck into home ed, it may be easier to decide whether it would suit the little one too.

I think some people have got overexcited by the mention of your anxieties, and are overlooking the fact your son is miserable at school and both kids are suffering many bouts of illness as a result of school attendance.

Sometimes anxiety is irrational and works against your (and your children's) best interests. But as a response to seeing your children suffer, anxiety is a normal and helpful reaction. Your mum-instincts are telling you quite rightly that there's a problem and your kids may need your help. I call that empathy, and I don't think you should ignore it.

How you can disentangle your phobia and irrational anxiety from your good instincts to keep your kids happy and safe, I don't know. Do you have close family and friends who know the situation, with whom you could discuss it?

My family have has one bug after another since September. I believe this is due to lockdown, hand washing and mask wearing for so long. It means our immune systems, which have not been challenged are now being challenged. Unless you get seriously ill this is a good thing.
Do you want to shut yourself away from the world forever? Otherwise it is a good idea to build a healthy immune system now. You and your dc will come onto contact with bugs in their lives and need to be able to fight them off.
There are several issue to address from your OP. The first is your anxiety which you might wish to discuss with your doctor to see if any talking therapies are available. The next is the bullying, which you can address with your current school or by moving schools.
There are lots of reasons to homeschool if that is what you want to do but I’m not seeing any good ones in your post.

TinselRoastingonanOpenFire "Do you want to shut yourself away from the world forever? Otherwise it is a good idea to build a healthy immune system now. You and your dc will come onto contact with bugs in their lives and need to be able to fight them off."

I hear this often from people who suggest that the frequent illnesses suffered by schoolchildren are a blessing in disguise, but I don't think there is any evidence for it. Anecdotally, I can say that I've known a great many home educated kids who were spared the constant bouts of illness which their school-educated peers experienced.

On going to college or uni, they did finally start mixing with large numbers of people in crowded conditions. At that time (according to your theory) they'd be expected to have to pay the piper by getting hit by all those illnesses they escaped as children. Yet that doesn't seem to happen.

Maybe the frequent illnesses caught at school don't have any silver lining. Maybe illness is just an unfortunate price schoolchildren pay for going to school. I'm sure school attendance does have benefits for some kids, but I'm not convinced that the development of a healthy immune system is among them.

I’m saying we have had bugs this year, not that we get them normally. My children have had about 5 days off each over the whole of their primary school careers.
Most homeschoolers I know do lots of groups and mix with other homeschoolers hence why they don’t fall ill on going to university.

Going to school two days a week sounds like an awful situation for most children. They’d constantly be missing out on things, feeling they didn’t belong either at school or as a home education child, and you’d have to fill in the gaps from school or it would be pointless.

Home schooling can work wonderfully for many families, but I don’t think a parents anxiety is a good reason for going into it. You won’t worry about them any less when they are secondary age, or college age, or university age so at some point, you will have to address your anxiety.

I was in a very similar situation regarding the persistent bullying and the school failing to act and my dd hating school and feeling miserable there. And us all being so much happier during the lockdowns…
So eventually I took my dd out (last April) - and she is much happier at home. We have a couple of home school friends we meet up with once or twice a week (including a bf who she has had sleepovers with) and although she was badly affected by the bullying she has just started to agree to group activities and started brownies in September- where she is very happy now - and she is starting a drama group in the new year.
So I don’t think socialising is a problem (and when we took our dd out our view was that no social interaction was better than wholly negative social interaction- which was what she was experiencing at school). There are lots of home school meet ups and groups but you are not restricted ti them - your son can continue to meet up with friends and to go to other groups and clubs too… when he wants too.
Good luck xx

At the point where your son had his arm broken, either he or the bully really needs to leave the school - it really ought to be the bully who has to go but your son would still have to face the place it happened, the bullies' friends, the adults who didn't properly safeguard him, etc, so it might be better for his ongoing mental health to be removed from the school completely.

I agree that flexischooling in that circumstance would probably be the worst of all worlds - he'd be "different" at school, get left out of things that happened when he wasn't in, still catch colds from the class etc, so you probably want to change school totally (awkward with school run for the other child) or full-time homeschool.

The person above is right

Flexi schooling is the schools choice only. You don’t get a choice really in it.

I’d home educate full time. I love it!!