In need of help

[scrumpledtitskin]

Hi

I'm posting on behalf of my friend, but I'm not sure if this is the right place. My apologies if not, but any advice would be appreciated.

She has a son (15) who is suffering with his mental health, anxiety and depression. This has resulted in him struggling to leave the house, and he didn't return to school in September.

She has tried every avenue; school, GP, Camhs, Barnardo's, but as of now they are still waiting for counselling. No other support or help has been forthcoming.

Although he is in a deep depression, he is very worried about how far he is falling behind and wants to home educate.

He does not see that he will ever be able to return to school, as it is being in a big building with lots of people which is his anxiety trigger.

School are not providing any work for him, as they say he needs to go in. She gets the impression

He is lacking motivation because of his depression, but wants to try and help himself.

Do you have any ideas on how to even start?!

His Mum is a single parent, in a very stressful full time job. She is not able to home school him herself, and cannot afford private tuition..

Sorry it's so long, just grasping at straws really.

That’s a really tough situation. There are huge amounts of material available for free on the internet if he has the discipline and motivation, but it is a huge ask for a depressed teenager with little support.

Take a look at the OU’s openlearn and edx for example. He may enjoy some of that, at least in his areas of interest.

Thank you so much Catherine, I shall pass those websites on

Hi, sorry to hear you friends son is struggling, your friend also needs to know once they tell the school to remove him from roll as they are home schooling. She takes on all responsibility to make sure he has a full time suitable education for his age, their is no funding to buy resources and she will have to pay for all GCSE exams herself. For the last couple of years home educated students have found it hard to find Centres that will take private candidates. Does the local college offer home education classes? Where he can attend , the classes are smaller and they usually offer English, Maths and Science and counts to around half the learn hours a week? He will have to be home educating to attend these though.

If he is self motivated and happy to sit and study alone there are some websites that can help to prepare him for his gcses. I like these free sites: Oak National Academy, BBC bitesize and Khan Academy (although the latter is American). However, to prepare for exams you really need to know which exams you're doing. Will he be able to sit exams alongside his peers at school? If so he needs to find out the exam boards/specifications/levels. If he intends to take exams as a private candidate, he will need to do IGCSEs in English and sciences and some others (I = International). You can read all about it on the home ed exam wiki.

Thank you all so much. I have sent screenshots to my friend.

It's such a difficult time for them both, it's all come out of the blue really.

Your friend doesn't need to deregister DS and EHE unless that is actually what they want to do, rather than it being a reaction to DS being unable to attend school.

Even if DC can't attend it is often easier to get support when on a school's roll. Crudely you are someone's problem, whereas when you deregister, and relieve the LA of their duties, it is easier for people to sweep DC's needs under the carpet.

It is the LA responsible for providing DS with an education, not the school. Under section 19 of the Education act 1996 the LA must provide an education to compulsory school aged pupils who are unable to attend school for medical reasons, including because of their mental health. For example, this could be online, home tuition, hospital school, small group tuition depending on individual needs. Pupils receiving medical needs EOTAS tuition remain on their home school's roll. If the LA won't provide anything you can force them to via Judicial Review.

In addition to this your friend should apply for an EHCNA. This can provide further support, including therapies.

Gosh, that is really difficult.

First off I would say that the lad's mental health has to come first. Whether or not he is on school roll, whether or not he is attending school, if he is too depressed and anxious to focus, he won't be learning. Ideally I would say to take him out of school, do informal learning with him, remove all performance pressure, and let him relax. When he is in a better place, he can resume formal education if he wants to. It is never too late for that. Hard though it might beto accept, I would put the education on the back burner and just concentrate on getting him well.

The complication is that he doesn't have a parent at home with him. In his current state, being home alone all day isn't likely to be good for him. Of course, given how badly school has affected him, being home alone might not be any worse than going to school, but it isn't a good environment either.

I do have a friend who cut his work hours this year in order to be home with his depressed teen who had dropped out of college. It's a hard decision to make, no doubt about it.

My heart goes out to your friend and her son.

From a financial POV does your friend receive DLA for DS? If not she should apply, or if turning 16 very soon and she can't face two applications wait to apply for PIP.

Thank you all so much, I'm totally out depth so having all this information to send to her is really useful.

💐