Ex-home-ed kid - why GCSEs are CRUCIAL

[JustATotallyOriginalUsername]

Hey everyone, my name is Ben, I'm 25 now, and was home educated in the UK from age 10 through to 16, and I'd like to tell you a little story in the hope that it might help kids who are just like I was ten years ago, or younger.

I haven't done awfully from being home-ed, I'm working a job that I genuinely enjoy, though it's far from my dream career. Still, after COVID with companies I'd love to work for hiring again, I've been applying to jobs once more and attending interviews.

There's one question that ALWAYS comes up: Do you have at lease 5 GCSEs at a C-grade or higher.

Thankfully I do, and here's why.

My parents took me out of school for medical reasons, though I think they could certainly have tried harder to get me back into school. I now strongly wish my mother had not made the decision to home-educate me, but that's a story for another day. After years of home education, I developed a passion for music, and eventually begged to apply to a 6th form college that specialised in music education.

Something I remember hearing a lot back then - both from my mum and other home-ed families - was the line of 'exams don't matter'. They do. With only a couple of months notice before I was due to start, the college I was applying to said that actually, I would need at least 5 GCSEs to attend. Despite my disagreements with my mum's choice to home educate me, I'm thankful to this day that she took to this with gusto, quickly finding a school that would let me take at least some exams, and with only two weeks notice, I managed to study for and pass five GCSEs (at A, A, A, A and C). This was enough for me to attend college, and to move on from there to university.

Every single job I've applied to or worked since then, I've always been asked 'Do you have five GCSEs (usually including maths and english) of at least a C-grade'. Furthermore, serious employees dig deeper, and I've often been turned down for jobs BECAUSE I only have five GCSEs, completely irrespective of other qualifications, up to and including degree-level, it seems that those early exams are - while not all that matters - considered to be the bare minimum to be 'educated'.

Today, an interview that was previously going brilliantly derailed when that question came up, and despite giving a full explanation, I was still turned down for the job because, and I quote "Despite your other qualifications and experience, we have a base standard of education that we require."

I'm not here to rant or complain though, I'll keep going, I still have a job I enjoy, and will keep on looking for even better options, but I wanted to post today in the hope that telling my story will help even one child from ever being in the situation I now find myself.

To the parents reading this, whatever your reasons for home educating your kids, I'm begging you, PLEASE make sure they take their GCSEs, and not just the bare minimum five, but as many as possible. No matter what hoops you have to jump through to get them there, it will affect the rest of their lives, and they WILL thank you for it.

Now, this is specific to UK exams and employment, but I think it'll still apply in other countries - I imagine the equivalent in the USA would be end of high school exams. I also don't know if the government will put measures into place to help kids who's exams were disrupted by COVID, but I can say for sure that attitude won't change, and the attitude of employers - as unfair as it may be - is quite simply that people who didn't take their GCSEs, and as many as possible, are considered uneducated. No matter how good their other qualifications, no matter how well they handle interviews, GCSEs are crucial.

Please, for the sake of your kids, make sure they take their exams, and get good grades. It will affect them for the rest of their lives.

Yes, I think some employers are getting more inflexible on this than they once were. Colleges certainly are, now that they are being judged on their effectiveness at getting everybody through English and maths GCSE. That affects not just home ed kids but also schooled children who didn't get "good" GCSEs. Colleges ought to offer alternative pathways, but some just don't want those young people on their books and will quietly push them out.

Nevertheless, there are academic and vocational paths for which exams are less important. While I appreciate your point, it's worth acknowledging that some people simply cannot get GCSEs for one reason or another and that they should not assume their futures will be disastrous as a result. To tell teens that they MUST have five or more decent GCSE results - if they cannot actually get those - is quite damaging. And it isn't true.

I'll go along with you if you say that a good handful of GCSE results is now more important than it was thought to be ten years ago, and that some families may regret cutting corners on this. But I can't have you writing off my youngest child, who is unlikely to achieve any GCSEs at all, no matter how hard she tries. I don't want her constantly getting the message that she'll get nowhere without GCSEs. I'm not willing to set her up to fail by pushing her toward exams which aren't right for her. True, without exams she won't be a surgeon or a history professor and likely not a police officer, but she'll find her path.

My 21 year old chose not to do many exams but instead develop professional skills and does not regret that decision. They had Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and felt it was a better use of their time and energy. They're doing a degree now on the back of two GCSEs, no A-levels and a ton of relevant experience. Their freelance clients have not asked about GCSEs. They may decide to go back and do more later, but for now this seems adequate.

I would never say exams don't matter, but different people will have different situations and different priorities.

You say you've often been turned down for jobs because you only have five GCSEs. It seems you are very academically capable, having sailed through five GCSEs as a teen with just a few weeks' notice.

Have you thought about sitting some more now? Given your aptitude, it might be quite easy for you.

To tell teens that they MUST have five or more decent GCSE results - if they cannot actually get those - is quite damaging. And it isn't true.

This. GCSEs are NOT the be all and end all. I know plenty of people with excellent careers who bombed at school.

Thanks for sharing your story Ben. I hope it helps other home ed children.

Thank you @Saracen for making some excellent points, I definitely feel that I need to respond and elaborate on a couple of points that I perhaps wasn't as clear about as I should have been in the first place - in the interests of trying to get a message across.

First, my post absolutely was not aimed to put down or discourage in any way anyone like your kids, who for any reason - medical or circumstantial, are unable to take exams. I would like to apologise if it came across this way, and would like to stress that I strongly believe that it's always worth believing in yourself and striving to live a life you're happy with, that you can use what others consider failings as your own strengths, and to never give up on what you want to do or be.

I also would never say that it is not entirely possible to have an amazingly rewarding career and/or be hugely successful without 'traditional' education and exams. There are certainly examples of this and it is more than possible. I just want to make sure that parents and kids reading this are at least aware of the potential pitfalls.

I don't know if things have changed, but at least when I was being home educated (around 2006-2012), there was a strong and pervasive attitude among other home ed families that children shouldn't be encouraged to take exams, and that it 'doesn't really make a difference'. The aim of my post - as well as being a good point to take away from several other stories on here from previously home ed kids struggling in life now without having had a traditional education - was to spread awareness.

It absolutely is possible to overcome the obstacle that not having exams poses.

However, I think that it's vital that both parents, and older children / young adults are fully aware that it is an obstacle. Beyond even the 'traditionally academic' jobs that you'd expect and which you mentioned Saracen, in my experience I've found that many jobs - even at entry levels, require those qualifications now. There are ways around this, but I would say the most important one is to be prepared - because you don't want to be in the situation of jobseeking or looking to change careers, and then have to deal with the way missing exams can and will hold you back. My advice to your eldest (I assume? 21) would be to work hard now while they're at university on building a network of contacts relevant to fields they're interested in working in, and strongly advise them to make sure potential employers already know them on a personal and professional level - and if possible, to have a job 'lined up' by the time they finish their degree - even if this is just an internship in a field they're passionate about that they can then carry on to a full-time position, or making sure their freelance work will be sustainable and expanding upon that.

GCSEs are not the be all and end all. That's true. But I want to make sure that - not anyone who is unable to take exams - but those who can and are choosing not to are fully aware of the problems it can cause - and especially to parents. Quite simply, most teens around 14-16 if given a choice of 'do you want to do these exams', would almost certainly rather learn at their own pace. This isn't wrong and is likely what will give them a more enjoyable end to their childhood. I can only share my own experience now as an adult, that I strongly wish my parents - despite home educating me - had then insisted that I take all my exams as normal, as not having done so has held me back far more than either I or they would've anticipated.

Answering Saracen again, 'sailed through' is a... generous way of putting it - those weeks were absolute hell - and I was honestly staggered to do as well as I did. However I actually was not aware that it's possible to go back and retake GCSEs at any point in life. I've done some research, and while difficult to fit into a full-time job, this is definitely something I'll be looking further into - so thank you for bringing that possibility to my attention.

In summary, I want to reiterate that I do not want to put down or discourage those who are unable, or who make an informed choice not to take GCSEs and further exams - but just to make sure that they are aware and prepared to overcome the problems that not having those qualifications will present.

I think that attitude is still prevalent. I home ed my son. I will 100% be encouraging him to take his GCSEs.

BTW I was home educated myself (loved it) and have 11 GCSEs, 4 A levels and 2 degrees.

My dd is 18 and now in her THIRD job with no GCSEs. One was a volunteer job she still does some hours for with increasing responsiblity now she can open or close the shop. The other two are major city centre retailers with very high standards of customer service - think Books and Never Knowingly Undersold where she is currently employed and being offered a permanent contract.

This suits her and the more work she does, the more other employers have valued what she can do. She is a sales natural just like her Dad!

Some children will need GCSEs for work or study that they want to do but some will take other paths. There are a lot of schooled children out there without qualifications too and not because they are incapable in any respect but, like many home educated children, they may have skills that school didn't teach or value and they can now use these in the adult world.

Fine, fine but I've just had yet another row with my teen about how GCSEs are important and have to be worked for and I'm being totally ignored.
Any top tips for that or will it all be my fault if he fails to achieve results?

I like this post. I see a lot of home educated children that are at a disadvantage throughout life for not having basic exams.

(and I have seen some tremendous home educators who have produced brilliant well rounded children, yes including with qualifications.)

All the best to you.

@orangefoot

My dd is 18 and now in her THIRD job with no GCSEs. One was a volunteer job she still does some hours for with increasing responsiblity now she can open or close the shop. The other two are major city centre retailers with very high standards of customer service - think Books and Never Knowingly Undersold where she is currently employed and being offered a permanent contract.

This suits her and the more work she does, the more other employers have valued what she can do. She is a sales natural just like her Dad!

Some children will need GCSEs for work or study that they want to do but some will take other paths. There are a lot of schooled children out there without qualifications too and not because they are incapable in any respect but, like many home educated children, they may have skills that school didn't teach or value and they can now use these in the adult world.

With no ill will towards you, I am confident that your daughter WILL come across jobs that she would like to apply for and won't get past screening because she doesn't have the basic GCSEs. I'd strongly recommend that she considers sitting AT LEAST GCSE maths and English as evening courses or similar. You and she probably know she is more than up to the standard, but so many prospective employers won't give her a second glance if she doesn't have the universal pieces of paper to prove it.

@crosshatching

Fine, fine but I've just had yet another row with my teen about how GCSEs are important and have to be worked for and I'm being totally ignored. Any top tips for that or will it all be my fault if he fails to achieve results?

I know this is not a very popular view, but it's inevitable that a time will come when teens have to take responsibility for their own choices and their own futures. Parents do have more life experience and a broader perspective and should certainly give their young people advice and a steer in the direction we think they should go. But as you've seen, there's only so far you can get with advice. Sometimes they choose not to take it. So the question becomes, at what age does that become their responsibility?

On a practical level, I guess you have no choice but to hand over that responsibility when they reach the age at which you can no longer force them to do what you think they should do. Some parents would choose to do it earlier. Other parents try to hold onto control longer with threats, withdrawing wifi privileges or whatever sanctions they think might work.

I am a big believer in lifelong education. It is never too late to go back and get an education. In some respects it may be easier to do while young, with financial support from parents. But if the young person doesn't yet see the point, it's better to wait until they DO see the point. It it's inconvenient for them, so be it. That's on them.

When parents and teachers catastrophise over the shattered prospects of young people who don't work hard toward exams, teens may well believe them, and conclude that if they don't do it at 16 they can never do it. It becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

My 21yo still hasn't got their driving licence despite ample opportunity to do it and encouragement from me. That will cost them financially. By now, they could have had 4.5 years as a licence-holder, possibly not driving, but racking up years of "experience" from insurers' POV. They may miss out on jobs if they can't drive. Nevertheless, most people would say I did the right thing in encouraging but not forcing them to drive.

But what's the difference between GCSEs and driving? I'd put it to you that it's just the misguided popular perception that you're never too old to learn to drive but you can only pass exams when you're young. It isn't true. THAT is the message we need to be giving to the reluctant teens.

So if I were you I'd tell your son, "Look, I think it would be a really good idea for you to do these exams now, but if you're sure don't want to do them now, you can always do them later. Here's what you'll need to do in order to sit them later. English and maths are free BUT only if you attend adult education classes at college, which might not be convenient. Plus there's a risk that funding policies might change and you might have to pay after all. Other subjects, you'll probably have to pay and you may have to travel a long way to an exam centre. Here's what it currently costs and the hoops you'd have to jump through. The choice is yours." Make sure he understands the consequences of his decision and then leave it to him. Information is power.

My eldest did a GCSE at 19 and another at 20. Do they wish they had done them a bit younger? Yes, but hindsight is a wonderful thing. They definitely don't wish they had done five or six, as that would have meant sacrificing more important things. Do they blame me? Of course not, and if they did, they'd be wrong!

The entry requirements for A levels and equivalent (post 16) are the national average of 5 GCSES at level 4 and above. This now includes maths and English otherwise a resit is required. The entry requirements differ if older - eg access to university courses.

There are not universal entry requirements for a job beyond that. But if there are a lot of applicants other restricting criteria may be applied. If that is the case then employers might be looking for 'soft' skills - such as handling pressure, competing demands, prioritisation and time management etc that really only can be demonstrated by studying for 10+ GCSES or 3+ A levels at the same time at the chronological age of peers. Achieving 10 GCSES as an adult and spread over time does not demonstrate that. But if you have higher qualifications you should be able to demonstrate that anyway.

It may be just a seemingly objective way to whittle down the field when there are multiple strong candidates. Applied regardless of HE.

If you look at job requirements you never see any official requirement of more than the average number of GCSEs passes, post 16 qualifications, degree, MA, PhD, career specific qualifications and accreditation according to the job.

@Saracen

Thank you so much for your response. I needed to hear that today!