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Home ed

Find advice from other parents on our Homeschool forum. You may also find our round up of the best online learning resources useful.

New home edders!

15 replies

DarcyLewis · 08/03/2021 13:01

Is anyone else doing their first day of elective home education today?

I have decided not to send my 7 year old back to school so today was the first day that educating him was totally my responsibility.

So far we have:
gone to the park
done a White Rose Maths video
had lunch
read some comics
and I'm about to make him write some thank you cards for recent birthday presents.

Anyone else?

OP posts:
Mumofboys28 · 09/03/2021 15:59

Yes! I started for the first time yesterday too! I have chosen to home educate by myself, both my sons (10+6). All going well so far! I much prefer this to sending them to school! Unfortunately both kids kept having too many nasty issues in their schools. This is a completely new way of life and I am loving it 😁😁

unlimiteddilutingjuice · 13/03/2021 14:31

Me! I'm a new Home Edder.
DS was really struggling to learn in a classroom environment. But came on a treat over lockdown.
So he's not going back.
We've been having lovely chats and looking up the answers to (the many many) questions he has.
The other day he wanted to know what a "diplomatic incident" is. So we googled and found a recent example with China and Brazil arguing over Covid vaccines and spies.
That led to the politics of Brazil, reading biographies of Lula and Bolsanaro, taking about Lula's social programmes and comparing them to state benefits in the UK.
We do some formal worksheet stuff as well, but more and more I'm seeing the value of just letting him follow his interests.
He's not good at writing but he's picking up skills by entering search terms and lately he's been writing "signs" during his play.
It's very nerve wracking but I'm trying to keep calm and trust in us both.

LadyPuff85 · 21/03/2021 07:58

Hi there does anyone have secondary school age children they are home educating??
My sons home schooling experience was great and I'm seriously considering it. Just not sure of, the social aspect and if I can do it successfully.

Saracen · 22/03/2021 01:48

Hi @LadyPuff85!

My kids are 21 and 14 and were home ed from the start. For us, the social side of home education has been one of the biggest positives.

How old is your son? What good effects did you notice about him being out of school? Is there anything you feel he would be missing through not going to school?

SakuraEdenSwan1 · 22/03/2021 02:41

Hi everyone, I'm CEV and a single mum so have homeschooled my youngest for the past year!
Some days we are productive, other days are hit and miss, but as long as they are doing at least 3 hours a day then all is good!

LadyPuff85 · 22/03/2021 05:46

Oh really?? How was it positive?? You don't feel they missed out socially by not being at school??
My sons school has a points system for good pieces of work produced. Being at school the highest he had was 80 percent. During home schooling he didn't get lower than 80 percent. The actual standard of work he was submitting even I thought was exceptional.
Since going back his confidence is down, he says there's so much noise in the classroom and he's finding it hard. Every lesson he had was a zoo. Lesson from school though so my worry is could I deliver what I need to, to an acceptable standard to get him where he needs to be. Did you do it all yourself or did you have tutors help with your kids education also. Xo

LadyPuff85 · 22/03/2021 05:50

My son is 11 will be 12 in May so in his first year.
I couldn't deliver what he would get in the classroom is my main worry they do things so different these days. Xo

Saracen · 22/03/2021 14:24

The social scene outside of school is so different from what it is in school, there's a whole long list of things which I thought were better for my kids about being home ed.

School isn't set up to promote either socialising (enjoying being with other people) or socialisation (learning positive social skills), and IMO school doesn't actually do either of those things particularly well.

For example, at school kids don't have long uninterrupted playtimes in a variety of settings with access to stuff. That means, for example, there isn't time to plan and carry out a project collaboratively: building a den or a Minecraft world, exploring the neighbourhood on bikes, training pets, forming a band, creating a film, making and selling things. You described your son's classroom as being like a zoo, so I expect the lunchroom and outdoor play areas are at least as bad, with noise and interruption. Zoos are exciting and sometimes people like being in them, but it's tiring to spend every day in one, and stress doesn't help build good relationships.

Kids in crowds at school socialise in the public spotlight, and live in fear of ostracism if they don't conform. I'm sure you remember it: you were talking to that boy - is he your boyfriend? why on earth are you playing with little kids? what ARE you wearing? why are you sitting with that geeky new girl? how can you be friends with him after what he said about me? are you going to let me play too or should I tell them you still wet the bed? don't you know dolls are for babies? Even when these things aren't said aloud, you know how you're expected to behave. If you can't be yourself because people around are judging you, it's hard to have deep friendships or be kind to others. I know I was able to be a better person outside of school, in smaller groups, than in school with a huge peer group always looking on.

Schools put kids together who are exactly the same age. Playing with age peers can be fun, but it's restrictive if they can't also hang out with adults and kids who are younger and older. Having access to people of different ages is healthier and teaches different skills. Here's one of a series of good articles from a psychologist about that: www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/freedom-learn/200809/why-we-should-stop-segregating-children-age-part-ii

All relationships have their challenges. Kids need time and space to work through problems - which can be hard if they are forced together every day - and may occasionally need some coaching from a person who knows them well and can observe what's going on. It would be great if teachers could do that, but sadly with dozens of kids to look after and all sorts of other things to do, a teacher can't make it a priority to help kids through their friendship problems.

So my eldest really enjoyed being able to be with people of all ages in groups of various sizes. Especially through their teens, they could take on leadership roles among kids and sometimes even among adults, as well as being a follower, a learner, a teacher, an onlooker. Different people in different settings meant different ways of behaving. Now at uni, they are particularly good at working in groups because of that experience.

My 14yo has a learning disability and often prefers the company of younger children aged 10-11 with whom she has more in common than other teens. She isn't constantly comparing herself with kids who can do things she finds hard. So she's happy. Her self esteem is high. She lights up when she helps a seven year old boy who idolises her. She knows other people can read and write better than she can, but because she isn't doing reading alongside them for hours a day, that inability doesn't define her as it might at school. It's a minor point.

The downside was that when they were young I had to ferry them round to friends and parks and groups rather than just dropping them at school to be with other kids, but with that came great flexibility to meet their social needs properly. As they grew up they could get themselves off to see friends under their own steam.

Saracen · 22/03/2021 14:57

You're right, you can't deliver what they do in the classroom. But equally, in the classroom they can't deliver what you can at home. You've seen this already. Most parents don't have the same skills as teachers, but that is okay, because we don't educate in the same way teachers do. I see myself as a facilitator, helping my young people find resources to learn what they need to know. My eldest was interested in all the subjects I knew nothing about: art, music, and sports coaching. They've taught themselves as well as going to external settings and groups to learn those things: a guitar tutor, choirs, sports clubs, a film education centre. It's quite a patchwork approach but very effective as it focuses on individual needs.

Your son's age is a great time to try home education. The reason I say this is that if it doesn't work out for him, he could easily return to school. That's generally true for most ages. The exception is during the "GCSE years" when the school system is so rigid that missing a chunk of the curriculum makes it very hard to return. If your son were in Y10 now, the decision to home ed would be a bigger commitment, because there's no going back.

You also have a nice long time to settle in to home ed, decide if it is working, and explore ways of working before you need to think about exams. Mastering the subject matter is not necessarily as hard as you think, but arranging to sit GCSEs can be a hassle for home ed kids. Schools and exam centres don't have to accept home ed teens to sit exams at their centre, and many don't, so you have to find one or more centres. But the bonus of doing exams out of school is that you can be completely flexible. Teens can do any number of exams, at any age, in any order. A popular approach for HE kids is to start with their strongest subject, sit one or two exams one year, then move on to a few more the following year. They may do the minimum number to access the next level of education, often five or six.

This is less stressful than the school approach of juggling loads of subjects all at once, some in areas which aren't useful or interesting to the child, and having to sit them all at 16 regardless of whether the child is advanced or needs more time. We have friends who sat exams as young as 12, others who are delaying until 17 or 18. My eldest originally wasn't planning to do any GCSEs at all, then decided to do them aged 19-20 and went straight to uni at 21. It's all about what's right for the individual.

LadyPuff85 · 22/03/2021 17:34

Wow, thank you!!!
Do you personally teach the curriculum they would have at school?? Or just subjects they're interested in?? If there are certain maths things that they need to learn, does it matter if they're taught a different ways?? I think I'm just so full of doubt of my own ability to help him. Will join some Facebook groups in my area and get looking whats nearby to assist I think. Thank you so so much.

Fridacaninelo · 22/03/2021 18:36

May I join? I've just deregistered my 5 year old. He started reception in September but I just felt he was much happier at home so we've carried on. I'm really worried about dealing with my LA (Lewisham).

Saracen · 23/03/2021 14:38

Hi @LadyPuff85, you're welcome!

I don't think I know anyone who aims to match exactly what is taught at school. The school curriculum is fairly arbitrary. It is likely to contain elements which you and your child think aren't important, while missing out elements which you feel are essential. If kids are aiming to sit certain exams then obviously you'd work toward those and learn the content which is going to be tested.

The consensus seems to be that you can be as freewheeling as you like up to GCSE, and then most GCSE/IGCSE subjects are self-contained, in other words you can pick them up without any prior study in the subject. Foreign language GCSE might be easier if started earlier. Also, general essay-writing skills are needed for many GCSE subjects; that is one thing which a couple of my laid-back friends wished they had started on before tackling GCSEs. Apparently it can be a bit full-on to master the content of (say) GCSE history while simultaneously learning how to structure an essay and churn essays out on demand.

I would say most home educators insist that their children learn some key subjects - typically maths and English, maybe science too, maybe a language - but not necessarily in the same way it's taught at school. Then follow their interests more for the remaining subjects, whether or not those interests are "academic".

My own family's approach is more toward the radical fringe, in that I didn't require my kids to do anything specific. They learned what was important to them whenever they wanted to do it, in the way they wanted to learn it. My role was to offer up things I thought might interest them ("do you want to go on this museum trip?" "here's a documentary I thought you might like", "I'm enjoying this book; shall I read it aloud to you?", "do you want to try this beginners' hockey course?"), help them find resources, and teach them things IF they asked me to and I happened to know the subject. This approach, called "autonomous education", is well-respected in home ed circles, but is only followed by a minority of people. My kids did do some formal academic learning, but only when they wanted to, not because I made them do it. It has been very successful for us.

Most people are full of self-doubt when they start. The confidence comes when you realise that there are plenty of good resources out there and that it's fine to learn alongside your kids and help them that way. That wouldn't work so well for a schoolteacher, who has to have all the answers at their fingertips so they can keep dozens of kids engaged. But we don't have to be teachers.

Saracen · 23/03/2021 22:50

Hi @Fridacaninelo, welcome!

There is a great Facebook group where you can get help if your LA is being unreasonable. It's called "Home Education and your Local Authority: Help with dealing with officialdom" here: www.facebook.com/groups/239232119524989

The advice given there in most circumstances is to ask the LA to keep all contact in writing; don't agree to any "chats" on the phone and don't accept a visit or Zoom call. You also don't need to fill in any LA forms, which often request information you don't have to provide. (In particular, any future plans are not legally relevant to the question of whether you are providing a suitable education and can be used against you.)

Instead, you can write a report for the LA on the education you have been providing. There is a report template at the Education Otherwise site to help you with writing it, and you can get one of the excellent admins at the above Facebook group to check your draft report before you send it, if you want to be sure you have included the necessary information.

Try to relax and focus on your child. He's the one who deserves most of your care and attention, not the LA!

sapphire777 · 24/03/2021 09:29

@Saracen

The social scene outside of school is so different from what it is in school, there's a whole long list of things which I thought were better for my kids about being home ed.

School isn't set up to promote either socialising (enjoying being with other people) or socialisation (learning positive social skills), and IMO school doesn't actually do either of those things particularly well.

For example, at school kids don't have long uninterrupted playtimes in a variety of settings with access to stuff. That means, for example, there isn't time to plan and carry out a project collaboratively: building a den or a Minecraft world, exploring the neighbourhood on bikes, training pets, forming a band, creating a film, making and selling things. You described your son's classroom as being like a zoo, so I expect the lunchroom and outdoor play areas are at least as bad, with noise and interruption. Zoos are exciting and sometimes people like being in them, but it's tiring to spend every day in one, and stress doesn't help build good relationships.

Kids in crowds at school socialise in the public spotlight, and live in fear of ostracism if they don't conform. I'm sure you remember it: you were talking to that boy - is he your boyfriend? why on earth are you playing with little kids? what ARE you wearing? why are you sitting with that geeky new girl? how can you be friends with him after what he said about me? are you going to let me play too or should I tell them you still wet the bed? don't you know dolls are for babies? Even when these things aren't said aloud, you know how you're expected to behave. If you can't be yourself because people around are judging you, it's hard to have deep friendships or be kind to others. I know I was able to be a better person outside of school, in smaller groups, than in school with a huge peer group always looking on.

Schools put kids together who are exactly the same age. Playing with age peers can be fun, but it's restrictive if they can't also hang out with adults and kids who are younger and older. Having access to people of different ages is healthier and teaches different skills. Here's one of a series of good articles from a psychologist about that: www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/freedom-learn/200809/why-we-should-stop-segregating-children-age-part-ii

All relationships have their challenges. Kids need time and space to work through problems - which can be hard if they are forced together every day - and may occasionally need some coaching from a person who knows them well and can observe what's going on. It would be great if teachers could do that, but sadly with dozens of kids to look after and all sorts of other things to do, a teacher can't make it a priority to help kids through their friendship problems.

So my eldest really enjoyed being able to be with people of all ages in groups of various sizes. Especially through their teens, they could take on leadership roles among kids and sometimes even among adults, as well as being a follower, a learner, a teacher, an onlooker. Different people in different settings meant different ways of behaving. Now at uni, they are particularly good at working in groups because of that experience.

My 14yo has a learning disability and often prefers the company of younger children aged 10-11 with whom she has more in common than other teens. She isn't constantly comparing herself with kids who can do things she finds hard. So she's happy. Her self esteem is high. She lights up when she helps a seven year old boy who idolises her. She knows other people can read and write better than she can, but because she isn't doing reading alongside them for hours a day, that inability doesn't define her as it might at school. It's a minor point.

The downside was that when they were young I had to ferry them round to friends and parks and groups rather than just dropping them at school to be with other kids, but with that came great flexibility to meet their social needs properly. As they grew up they could get themselves off to see friends under their own steam.

THIS! I wish everyone understood this about home education
SueLawwrites · 21/04/2021 13:55

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