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Home ed

Find advice from other parents on our Homeschool forum. You may also find our round up of the best online learning resources useful.

Original poster

If home ed wasn't your first choice, but became a necessity?

13 replies

AdultHumanFemale · 02/02/2021 20:14

DD1 (y6) has mild SEN but crippling school anxiety and I am beginning to wonder how she will manage the transition to secondary school.
I was asked by a colleague today whether I would consider home educating her, and it has really brought home to me that this may well be on the cards.
I am a primary teacher so I feel well equipped as far as facilitating learning is concerned, but I really love my job and would be so sad to give it up. DP's salary would keep a roof over our heads, just. We live very frugally as it is. (And before anyone asks, no, he definitely couldn't be the one to give up his work to be in charge of home edding, not a pedagogical bone in his body.)
My question is whether anybody has a story to share where home education happened not because of the ideological persuasion of the parents, but arose from DC's MH needs or similar, and how that has worked out.
Especially interested in hearing if anyone gave up a career / vocation they adored and how they feel about that now. I know that if I left teaching at this stage in my career, I would likely not find another job by the time DD1's home ed journey is over. I feel so selfish to be reluctant to relinquish my career and the comforts and relative security my salary brings us, although it's nothing particularly fancy, but equally am not prepared for DD1 to endure some kind of protracted hell of failing secondary transition and beyond.

OP posts:
qwerty1972 · 03/02/2021 19:36

I did! Two days a week at a small nursery showed me that school was not going to work for my daughter. She was fully literate from about 4.5 (reading several chapter books a day), but she was also struggling socially, frightened by noise and suffering from lots of health problems. I knew her attendance at school would be intermittent and this would be problematic. At that time we didn't have the diagnosis which now makes sense of all her health issues! We also didn't know that she had Asperger's Syndrome.

I home educated her from the start and have never regretted it. She has thrived academically and is far more academically independent than her counterparts in school. In order to home ed., I gave up working full time. It was a wrench to give up the career I loved (I'm a teacher too), but I soon found that teaching can fit around home educating. I tutored in the evenings and now (over a decade later) have a very fulfilling career teaching my subject online. From when my daughter was the age your daughter is now, I used online schools to support my daughter's learning, so I could work while she worked. If you love to teach, there will always be opportunities to work which fit around your daughter's needs.

itsstillgood · 04/02/2021 19:10

We home educated from the start but we are definitely in the minority in the home ed world. If you join local groups in FB you'll find many, many people with similar stories to yours. Most people come to home ed having removed children from the school system not because of any fundamental opposition to the school system (come across a lot of teachers among HE parents) but because the system didn't suit their child.

KateW73 · 14/02/2021 18:55

School didn't work for my son at all, but he thrived when we eventually realised that home education was an option. My daughter carried on at school. That was what suited each of them, but I think with hindsight my daughter would also have been happy being home educated if we'd done that from the start. I think schools are under such pressure to stick to the rigidities set by the DoE, while schools' budgets are squeezed, so it has become less and less likely that a school will be able to support a child who is struggling for whatever reason.

The decision to home educate did mean an end to my career. That was the choice I had, though. Either I carried on leaving my child in a situation where he was miserable and neglected every day while I went to work or I took him out and gave up my career.

You're right to think ahead about what you could do. I know that I realistically have no chance of getting back into my profession after a 6 year absence but you are in a line of work that's compatible with doing something similar at the same time as home educating your own child.
I've met a lot of teachers who home educate their own children. Some of them do private tutoring, or small group teaching, so you may still have the chance to maintain some aspect of the job you enjoy.

OrangeSamphire · 14/02/2021 18:58

I have done this.

I have not given up my career to do so but I do work very differently than I used to but with no reduction in earnings.

gonnabeok · 14/02/2021 19:01

Does your local authority have a hospital education service. It is set up to educate pupils who cannot attend mainstream school through medical conditions including severe anxiety. Our local education authority teaches pupils to GCSE standard with qualified tutors.

sapphire777 · 24/03/2021 09:27

Could you and your husband both work PT. Google 'Equal Parenting". My kids are both autistic and we are home educating from the beginning. My eldest has just started this year.

catlitterinmyturnups · 29/03/2021 10:59

I could have written your post myself, we are in exactly your position. Our daughter is Y6, and has had anxiety around school since she started at nursery. However, it's now become so severe that she's been unable to go into school full-time since everyone returned on 8 March. We are awaiting the outcome of an initial assessment for ASD from CAMHS.

I'm coming to the realisation that home-education may be on the cards, but it feels hugely daunting. I have been freelance since I had my children, and was looking forward to building up my work again now we're coming out of lockdown. I'm trying very hard not to feel resentful that this now probably won't be possible.

I don't really know where to start with it all, so will be following this thread with interest. Any advice gratefully received, and if anyone's based in Surrey (Epsom area) any pointers to local groups would be great. I don't want my daughter to miss out altogether on contact with peers.

qwerty1972 · 29/03/2021 11:35

@catlitterinmyturnups

I can't help with local information, but have you perhaps considered online school? I teach at one and many of our pupils come to us with similar stories to your daughters and do very well. My own daughter (ASD and a chronic health problem) has just finished her IGCSEs and A Levels with Net School and is now happily settled into her first year with the Open University.

It is possible to hang onto your career and home educate at the same time!

catlitterinmyturnups · 29/03/2021 11:57

@qwerty1972 Thanks so much for your response – I will definitely look into Net School, never heard of it. So good to hear your daughter thrived using it.

Thank goodness for Mumsnet!

Moonface123 · 29/03/2021 12:15

Look on Not Fine At School website, many parents on there is same situation, some very good advice.
I de registered my 13 year old son, he was diagnosed with an anxiety and panic disorder and he is getting on well with home education. I work part time , so it works well for both of us. It has given us breathing space to get his anxiety levels down at his own pace rather than the relentless pressure of the school, and enables him to study whilst also working on his mental health, which has vastly improved.

catlitterinmyturnups · 29/03/2021 13:22

@Moonface123 While obviously it's horrible to hear of other children who've been suffering, it's good to know we're not alone and that there are successful alternatives. I'm so glad your son's anxiety has improved. Has he maintained contact with anyone from school?

My daughter finds socialising a challenge, and I can see if we go down the home ed route it will be all too easy for her to lose contact with peers. She'll be happy, but I think it will set her up for difficulty in the future.

languagelover96 · 28/12/2021 09:52

@catlitterinmyturnups

I could have written your post myself, we are in exactly your position. Our daughter is Y6, and has had anxiety around school since she started at nursery. However, it's now become so severe that she's been unable to go into school full-time since everyone returned on 8 March. We are awaiting the outcome of an initial assessment for ASD from CAMHS.

I'm coming to the realisation that home-education may be on the cards, but it feels hugely daunting. I have been freelance since I had my children, and was looking forward to building up my work again now we're coming out of lockdown. I'm trying very hard not to feel resentful that this now probably won't be possible.

I don't really know where to start with it all, so will be following this thread with interest. Any advice gratefully received, and if anyone's based in Surrey (Epsom area) any pointers to local groups would be great. I don't want my daughter to miss out altogether on contact with peers.

See if you can find activity classes. There are a ton, try the Family Grapevine magazine and ABC magazine too. Or look online for more ideas.
tallywag · 28/12/2021 09:55

Have pm'd you.

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