a few words of encouragement needed plz...

[pinkdolly]

Hi, I have been homeschooling my 5 year old now for a year with some gaps, due to illness etc. I have just sent my 4 year old off to nursery as I found her attention span was only about 10 mins and I thought she could benefit from the social interaction. She has such an out going, bubbly personality, and she is loving nursery.

My problem is that I'm feeling a little bit overwhelmed at the moment. I always knew I would homeschool since dd1 was born. It was a well thought out and researched decision.

Things have been going really well and for the most part I am really enjoying it but...

I haven't been able to do a lot with dd1 for about a month .

First I had a really bad bout of flu which lasted nearly 3 weeks. Then dd2 got poorly and was ill for 3 days. Then I went down with tonsillitis, which hit me quite bad coz I was still recovering from flu. Then dd1 was ill with a fluey type thing. And now I've just spent all night up with dd3, 15 months, being sick at least 6 times.

So i'm feeling an immemse sense of guilt that I havent been able to do as much as I could do with dd1. We have been doing stuff, but no where near what we should be doing.

I'm trying to justify it by saying, well she has only just turned 5, which is still very young and we'll catch up. But I just wandered how do other people manage at times like these.

Thanx in advance for your support.

Pinkxx

she has only just turned 5, which is still very young and you'll catch up

In France and Germany children dont start formal education until they are 6 and 7 respectively, so at 5, they would be doing kindergarten type stuff.

Can you get in touch with other home-schooling families, to share the difficult times?

Hmmm. As has been said she is still only 5. A couple of phrases struck me in your op. "should be doing" and "catch up". What is it that you feel you should be doing that by not doing is being detrimental to your child and what is it that you think you need to catch up and when do you think she needs to have caught up by? Do you try to follow the national curriculum?
I would try not to worry too much. Your children are learning lots of things at the moment. How we care for other people, what illnesses do to someone and I'm sure other things. Other formal stuff will come when you are all ready and then you will be surprised at just how much ground you can cover in a short space of time.

thanx for your messages.
i'm trying to be quite relaxed in homeschooling dd. But I suppose a main concern for me is her reading skills.

A couple of months ago i posted a thread on here regarding our schedule. looking back on it now it seems i was doing such a lot compared to now.

But i'm really struggling, there's a big part of me that wants dd's activities to be interest led. I really want her to relish her childhood and to learn as much as possible through play and experience rather then sitting down at a table. She is very keen to learn. I am not following the national curriculum and dont intend to do so.

However, there is also a big part of me saying that she is 5 and she can only recognise half her alphabet. She adores being read to but cant read herself yet. I had brought this synthetic phonics book which we begain working through and has helped her a lot with things like rhyming and syllables etc. But I am concerned that she should be able to read a little bit by now.
Although I dont know why i'm worried, part of me wanting to homeschool the girls was so I could go at their pace and tailor their education to themselves.

Pinkdolly,
Do you go to a HE group locally? It sounds like you really need the support and reassurance right now.
You've all been poorly, don't be so hard on yourself.

I re-iterate, they're only 4 and 5 so where is the pressure?
What is it you want to 'catch up' with?
If they're not in school there is no 'targets' as such to meet, no one to compare them to. That's what I love about HE, we do it at their pace.
My dd is 41/2 and is not reading, I know 8 and 9 yr olds who are HE and can't read yet. But I also hear endless stories of HE kids that when they do finally read do it with a passion and 'catch up' very quickly with their 'schooled' peers because they want to and are not pressured or forced into it.
As long as it is always encouraged and there is no shortage of books around or mum with the time to read them out loud, it will happen.

De-schooling is talked about a lot amongst us, but i believe it's the parents who need more de-schooling than the children. I know this is true of myself, it's taken me nearly 18 months to even feel like I've begun to 'de-school'.

HE for us is not 'school at home' it doesn't work, I tried it and nearly gave up!
It's an organic process that evolves it's taken me a while to understand that. You have to have a lot of faith in your dds and in yourself. They will be 'learning' all the time.
We play board games, role play, we talk, we read, we go out, we watch tv.
The computer has been a fantastic learning tool for both girls and I recommend www.starfall.com for learning letters.
also:
educationcity.com
enchantedlearning.com
atschool.co.uk
bbc schools is also OK.

Chill out, give it another year look back and you'll wonder what you were ever worried about!

Incidentally, where are you pinkdolly?

thank you runnerbean.

I am in Cornwall, I recently joined EO and have meant to go on some of the trips they plan down here, but our illnesses have scuppered that for the moment.

As I said I am usually quite confident and happy regarding homeschooling the girls. I think my confidence has just been shaken a bit by all the recent illnesses. And also with the big focus on reading going on at the moment.

I suppose i'm still trying to find which learning style suits us best.

I really love the freedom that interest led learning brings, but i'm just concerned that if i dont knuckle down with the reading then it might have knock on effects further down the line.

I think also part of it is being brave enough to say, you know my 5 year old cant read but that's ok because we are following her interests and her learning is individualised to suit her. Which might mean that she takes a different path then children her age at school.

For what its worth, i think the school age is too low here. I think children should have more time just to be children.

thank you for those links, i will check them out in a bit.

5 is definitely young to be worrying about whether they are reading or not. dd3 was simply not interested in reading herself until she was 7. She suddenly decided one day that she wanted to and within 2 months she was reading just as well as school children her own age who had been reading from about 4 or 5. If you leave them until they have the desire to do something, they learn so much faster, because they want to. Incidentally, dd4 has only just started to read - she is 6. I have found too that they have a real love of reading and I'm sure this is because they haven't been pressurised into it. I think in some children the pressure to conform to a certain standard can squash their enjoyment and sometimes that never returns which is very sad.

Oops, that post was badly in need of some paragraphs

And I meant 'quash' not 'squash'...

gibberish, thank you. It's nice to know that it's ok not to rush things and it wont cause problems.

I am sure dd could be an avid reader if she wanted to be, she just loves having stories read to her.

I think I just have to not think about what level the children at school are at, or what they are achieving regarding their reading.

I was very drawn to the flexibility and diversity that home educating would bring to my children, and here I am dd is only 5 and i'm already comparing her. When what I really want to do is embrace her as an individual and facilitate and encourage her desires.

I think it is perhaps just a little wobble on my part due to being so tired at the moment.

Thank you for all your kind words.

You are more than welcome. I've HEd my girls for 7 years and still have periods of panic and self doubt when people point out that they haven't learned specific things that the curriculum covers. But they have learned so much that other children haven't that these periods don't last very long thankfully and as time goes on they are less and less frequent. I'm finally learning to trust my own instincts (from seeing the results of HEing) and look at my girls as individuals rather than a 'grade' if that makes sense.

It's just a confidence thing - it will build up with time

pinkdolly

I don't he as i think i would be sectioned after a few days, i admire you immensely.

To reassure you though, I have a 6 and a half year old who struggles terribly with reading and spelling, she has been in mainstream education for two years now and is only now beginning to grasp the whole concept of reading and writing.

I firmly believe that there are just some children who can read easily and some who can't. My dd1 is one who can't.

Please don't panic.

Good luck with the HEing, I wish I were a more patient person, life would be so much more interesting and fulfilling for all of us if we home edded