How much housework do you do ,if your the SAH parent home schooling

[Pringlemonster]

I am very structured home educating my dc.4 hours a day we spend on sit down learning.
Dh and 2 adult dc live in the house .I’m the only one not working.
I’m cooking ,cleaning ,tidying up after 4 adults with paying jobs and a child.
I get attitude if the food gets low in the cupboard,or there is not enough snacks.
I’m not allowed a dishwasher ,dh says he’s not buying it ,he doesn’t think we need it .
Dh also thinks dc should be roaming free with no rules or boundaries on bed time or having to do school work.
He’s not backing me up with anything,he never has .
My point is
What I’m asking is what is fair in the division’ of housework.should I be doing everything as I don’t work ?

You do have a full time job. Educating and looking after children.
It's fair for you both to do equal shares of the housework, and it's faur for dc to pitch in as age-appropriate.
It's not fair for you to do allof the housework just because you don't work outside the home

Also 4 hours of sit down work a day is ridiculous.
Home Education is NOT school at home.
Get out, do stuff!

I do all the housework but that's our choice. DH supports and chips in if I ask and give him specific tasks, usually if I'm not feeling great. My little ones are only small but they help with the daily routine and I think that's important - we don't want them to be helpless when they leave home nor see it as drudgery, just a normal part of life. Just for the record I totally would not like to be without a dishwasher!!

The biggest issue rather than the housework itself for you OP seems to be lack of support from your DH. It must be so hard if you're both singing from completely different hymn sheets. Could you have a big chat and find some common ground and a joint plan your both happy with do you think? And does he have complete financial control?

@nickelbabe I get what you mean but what you say there in your last comment can come across a bit not nice. We don't know OP or her DCs circumstances and "school at home" may work really well for them. Homeschooling is about freedom of choice.

[quote danigrace]@nickelbabe I get what you mean but what you say there in your last comment can come across a bit not nice. We don't know OP or her DCs circumstances and "school at home" may work really well for them. Homeschooling is about freedom of choice.[/quote]
Good point well made.
I was trying to be supportive of the idea of being more active and not always doing book work.

It’s really mean not to get a dishwasher if you have space. I went without one for a year and I won’t do that ever again!

The adult DC should be taking turns to cook and wash up unless they are in seriously long hours jobs - in which case they can help pay for a cleaner.

The main problem is everyone else hasnone job but you have too many jobs. If tou weren’t doong hole ed you could probably cope with all the cleaning and cooking etc but you don’t have time to do all that as well as home ed. Imagine if a teacher was expected to clean the classroom and cook / wash up as well as teaching.

Eh good luck. They are taking the piss but the real problem that this all comes down to is that they don’t respect you and that is what you have to somehow fix.

He’s in year 6 ,it’s a lot of work .his attention span is very short so he needs lots of breaks .
I have horrendous anxiety about him falling behind,
So that’s why it’s a lot of sit down work ..
But he struggles to leave the house ,we don’t get out a huge amount anyway

Ds2 had SEN, I homeeducated him when he was ,12 till 14. He has excellent GCSEs, fantastic a grade a levels, now at vg uni.

We never spent more than two hours max at table when home educating. I took him out a lot. He had no attention span, v impatient and anxious.
What he needed was to spend time outside doing practical things, sensory feedback, walking, travelling, socialising in small groups. Home Ed saved him.

Then he went back to school, all went v well.

He wasn't Behind, he was ahead cos his ability to learn and concentrate was so much greater. Hence good academic outcomes, but even if he had wanted to do something non academic and had confidence I would have said he was "ahead".

Home ed is about the whole person, maybe your dh has hit on something by talking about him going outside, doing his own thing etc..

It seems that you could discuss with your DH what your goals are, both parents, in home educating, read some points of view, ie detoxing, Sensory diets, how kids learn etc.

Structure is good, but it could be structure to have more unstructured time ifyswim. You also need to look after yourself, is your husband hitting a raw nerve by demanding you do housework, it is clear you are drained by the level of input required for your son, hence the anxiety.

So I am so sympathetic, you are doing a fantastic job and it isn't easy but there is a complex series of decisions at play here, and I think it begins with communicating with your husband, AND acquainting yourself with another pathway which might mean loosening up the way the day goes, leaving more time for YOU (not necessarily housework)

Struggling to leave the house is a familiar scenario; I would try and break it into small steps, posting letters, buying a few grocery items, photos of something away from home for a "project", local history awareness walk. Don't go out for social interaction specifically, just start with leaving the house for something, anything, on foot helps, rather than cars which can cocoon too much.
When you get moving, anxiety can reduce a bit, as long as nothing stressful ac.companies outing, at first