Need to make a decision (online schooling)

[MsGee]

I have been procrastinating about online schooling for 8+ months and now need to make a decision re enrolling in MOS this weekend.

DD (12) has ASD, PDA, anxiety - she feels suicidal about returning to school and with her psychiatrists support we are planning a very phased return (on medication for depression and anxiety). She wants her current high school to work but it is generally too much for her (school is very supportive but its still school!). Even before covid she was part time for her own safety (due to suicidal thoughts). We have no ECHP.

She is back and forth as to whether she wants to online school. I am thinking it will mean a more consistent education (at the moment we have to build up to returning with a phased timetable after each half term) and reduce her anxiety. She will still see friends (but I guess this may change as they go through high school) and does an activity where she has other friends.

I can just about manage this but homeschooling, her activity (which I have to do with her) and working (self employed so flexible but I need to work 20+ hours per week) will take its toll.

I don't know whether to enrol and then see how the first week of school goes (14 day cooling off period) or wait till the new year intake. When I talk to DD she is so distressed she sobs and says its too painful and she wants to die.

I don't know what to do - all I know is that it's not ok for my DD to be so distressed.

We’ve just signed up for MOS for this Sept. My daughter (13) has been out of school 2 years (complex health) and I thought we’d give it a go this year after liking some YouTube lessons during lockdown. Like you I don’t know if it will work so I decided to start with only 2 subjects. It will work out as 3 hours teaching time a week and we’ve agreed that she can watch the lessons on ‘catch up’ rather than live. If it doesn’t work out then it’s not a big commitment made. If it’s good then we might sign up for more. Maybe you could do something like that eg choose a subject she likes?

Many kids, especially if they have been deeply unhappy at school, benefit from some months with no enforced academics. It sounds like your daughter is so distressed she may be unable to focus on anything at the moment.

What about giving her a complete break to recover? Just let her do whatever makes her happy, whether that is cooking, playing with the dog, reading, or watching TV. Try to encourage her out for some fresh air every day.

When you see she is more relaxed, talk to her about experimenting with some different ways of learning, possibly including online school.

Thanks for the feedback, I think we will sign up for a few lessons as a back up, and then if school somehow works we can cancel within the 14 days.

I have thought about giving her a break but she does work best with a routine - school holidays were much worse than lockdown schooling because she knew something was on the horizon!

Sounds like a plan! You know her best so I'm sure you'll work out what suits her best. Good luck!