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Home ed

Find advice from other parents on our Homeschool forum. You may also find our round up of the best online learning resources useful.

Who will be HE their 4 & 5 yo's in September?

25 replies

MimblesDaughter · 30/05/2019 16:35

I suppose DD has always been home educated (no nursery, preschool etc) but will be "officially" HE in September as she should be starting school.

Anyone else?

OP posts:
Pieceofpurplesky · 30/05/2019 16:43

This is not a goady response - I am just curious. Why are you choosing to home Ed and do you have other dc?

MimblesDaughter · 30/05/2019 16:50

No other DC.

We are choosing to HE for a lot of reasons! The freedom to follow our daughter's interests and give her 1-2-1 guidance. The ability to meet her needs rather than her having to be taught alongside 30 kids other kids at differing levels (the idea that 30 different children could optimally be taught the exact same thing at the same time is not one I agree with). Our desire to spend more time with her. Our wish for her to continue socialising with children and adults of all ages. Our desire to provide her with a rigorous education. Our dislike of draconian classroom "behaviour management" policies and desire to keep her in a peaceful environment free from punishment and praise for as long as possible. The freedom for her to spend daily time outdoors in nature, moving, riding her bike, swimming. The time for her to play, like young children desperately need and like expert research has shown is important for academic, physical and emotional development. Our wish to give her an education that includes poetry, music, art, gardening, and nature study, as well as maths, grammar, science and languages.

OP posts:
Pieceofpurplesky · 30/05/2019 16:55

Again - just curious. Are either of you qualified in teaching? Have you spent time in schools to teach your opinions on education?

MimblesDaughter · 30/05/2019 17:05

Hmm no, we're not teachers. We are both Oxbridge educated, have three masters and multiple other qualifications between us, speak a range of languages, etc. Not that it matters - none of this is required to give children a fantastic education.

OP posts:
LimeTreeGrove · 30/05/2019 17:05

Op seems to have put a lot of thought into the sort of education she'd like her child to have and if she could manage it, it sounds like it would be very a good/varied education. She comes across in her post as educated, so i don't see any reason she wouldn't be adequate to teach her child at this stage. I'm interested in knowing more about you wanting to avoid praise though op.

Thesearmsofmine · 30/05/2019 17:09

Enjoy home ed OP, my dc have always been home ed (ds1 is 8) and I don’t regret our choice for a moment.

nc100 · 30/05/2019 17:10

Why do you want to avoid praise?

PieceOfPaper · 30/05/2019 17:16

OP, I'm not in the same boat as you this year, but I well remember that feeling of starting 'official' HE when my eldest reached school age! We eased into things really gently because, like you, I wanted to ensure there was plenty of play, plenty of outside time, plenty of opportunity to explore my child's own interests, plenty of time for socialisation. We got connected into our local HE community early on, which was really helpful and gave us even more opportunities to play, explore and learn.

MimblesDaughter · 30/05/2019 17:21

Re: avoiding praise, because good quality research has shown that it leads to a loss of intrinsic motivation & a fixed mindset (as opposed to growth mindset). The book Nurtureshock has a brilliant chapter on it, or google "Alfie Kohn praise" (though he's not to everyone's taste and can come across rather preachy!)

OP posts:
MimblesDaughter · 30/05/2019 17:22

thesearmsofmine Grin

OP posts:
MimblesDaughter · 30/05/2019 17:22

pieceofpaper we need to do that this year, as other friends will be starting school!

OP posts:
mclady · 30/05/2019 17:23

Our wish to give her an education that includes poetry, music, art, gardening, and nature study, as well as maths, grammar, science and languages.

My primary age DS has covered all of these topics this year.

Just curious, how long do you intend to educate your child at home for? Were you home educated yourself?

MimblesDaughter · 30/05/2019 17:23

limetreegrove haha, thanks! X

OP posts:
MimblesDaughter · 30/05/2019 17:27

mclady I have no end date in mind - we'll do it until it stops working for her, or us, or we'll carry on! And I was HE until I was 6.

OP posts:
PieceOfPaper · 30/05/2019 19:04

I'm sure you know this already, but lots of HE groups seem to keep in touch using Facebook. Hopefully you'll be able to find your local group without too much difficulty.

Pieceofpurplesky · 30/05/2019 19:07

I am just curious - not being goady as I said. In another time and another place i would have liked to have home Ed my DS. Sadly finances and circumstances did not allow it - luckily he had a fabulous primary school and plenty of times with me in the holidays to expand what he did there (I am a secondary school teacher).
My question about teaching was curiosity to see if you had been there in a teacher capacity - and didn't like what you saw. I find that I am very critical of DS's high school.

Soontobe60 · 30/05/2019 19:15

OP, whilst I admire your views on education, I can't help but feel that if you explored different schools, you might just find what you're looking for.
My school has recently had a big push in growth mindset. I too loathe using rewards as a means of bribery. All too often, children will expect something as a reward, and a sticker may not just cut it. What we've ended up with is over entitled children who believes everybody owes them something. When I was training, my biggest influence was Neil Summerfield. It's just a shame that there aren't more schools out there that are based in his principles!

nc100 · 30/05/2019 19:20

Personally, I'd be worried about them managing to integrate further down the line. If they go to school for the first time aged 9 for example, there are surely things that they will be expected to understand and conform to that won't be necessary/taught at home.

I've read the praise thing mentioned earlier and I still can't imagine not doing it. I just love giving praise and seeing their faces light up. They look as proud as I am.

I know this is completely just my opinion and counts for nothing here but I'm finding it a bit eye opening at the seemingly huge increase in home schooling.

MollyHuaCha · 30/05/2019 19:41

Re praise, I get where you’re coming from OP.

One of the early schools attended by my DC gave an endless stream of meaningless stars, stamps, stickers, big certificates, mini certificates, reading awards, spelling awards, paper trophies given daily to the ‘best table’, good memory crowns, sitting nicely in assembly awards, attentiveness awards, good manners awards, good behaviour awards, girl of the day awards, thank you for existing awards... they emerged each afternoon bestickered and with sore hands from all that clapping.

This created an environment where children did not choose to do anything for its intrinsic worth.

tortuman · 31/05/2019 02:10

Good luck. It is exciting. We home educated for 3 years and it was great. We stopped because work and other commitments got too much and we were lucky to be offered spaces at a local free alternative education school. But answering the other poster above who is a secondary school teacher, if I had to send my children to a mainstream school, I would go back to home education. It is a personal choice, but the education system is in crises and unfortunately teachers have their hands tied. Most teachers, especially those who were trained earlier, know that a lot of the staff they are asked to do and teach is not right, but it's either they lose their job, or for those with real vocation it is about staying and trying to do their best to minimise the negative impact of what the government and Ofsted are asking them to do.

Saracen · 31/05/2019 09:40

@nc100: "I'd be worried about them managing to integrate further down the line. If they go to school for the first time aged 9 for example, there are surely things that they will be expected to understand and conform to that won't be necessary/taught at home."

Insofar as school is well suited to a child's needs, the child will find it easy to adapt to school. It shouldn't take five years to prepare a child to cope with the academic, physical, and social environment of Y5. My older child did start school for the first time at nine, and found the adjustment trivial. The other kids weren't really conscious of the fact that she was new to school, though of course they knew she was new to THEIR school. Within two weeks she knew where everything was, could always remember to put her hand up if she wanted to use the toilet, formatted her homework in the approved style and remembered when it was due, and had found a way to navigate many of the social restrictions which her peers sought to impose on her.

For a four year old, much of this stuff IS really difficult. I reckon this is why people conclude that starting school is difficult full stop. But it's difficult because they are four, and too little to cope with some school challenges without considerable adult help. For a nine year old with more than twice as much life experience, who happens to be "school shaped" (round peg in a round hole: sociable, willing to conform, able to sit still, interested in academic topics), it's quite easy.

On the other hand, there are children who are not well served by the school system. They aren't "school shaped" and will never thrive in such an environment, whether they start at four or nine. My younger child is like this. She enjoys peace and solitude for most of her day. She is active and craves novelty. She loves tinkering with things and dislikes writing. She has a learning disability which means she hasn't been able to grasp some fundamental concepts until years later than her age peers. Her emotional and social development are likewise delayed.

Unlike her sibling, if she'd started school aged nine she wouldn't have adapted easily. In fact, I doubt she ever would have adapted sufficiently to be thrive at school. But the same would have been true in spades if she had started at four. If it had been necessary for her to go to school, I'd rather have sent her at nine than four. By nine, she had developed the strong self esteem which is the consequence of having had reasonable expectations imposed on her in an environment which suited her well. In short, if she started school and hated it, she might have been in a position to realise that the fault was not with her. She'd have had five happy years of suitable education under her belt. What's more, by the time she was nine, her special needs were better documented and I could have fought for her needs to be met at school from day one, rather than after several years of floundering.

Luckily I don't foresee ever having to send her to school. I'm glad I don't have to try to prepare her to fit into an environment which is all wrong for her. I am confident that she'll land on her feet eventually and do well in life as an adult, because the wider world is not very similar to school. She'll be able to find a job which is right for her. She already has friendships which make her happy, and is developing the social skills to deal with a range of people in different situations.

nc100 · 31/05/2019 11:01

Fair enough and sounds like it worked for you. I think it's a broad generalisation to say people conclude starting school is difficult.

Both of mine found it exciting and fun. They've enjoyed and understood it well. Different strokes for different folks.

itsstillgood · 31/05/2019 12:46

We have home educated from the start, mine are 17 and 13 now. Never regretted it.

LimeTreeGrove · 31/05/2019 14:51

Mine have enjoyed school (eldest is 14) but I fully admit that school wasn't great for eldest until she was about 6. She was young in the year, quiet, the teacher shouted which she didn't like, she blended into the woodwork, found it overwhelming, some kids weren't nice to her. She's happy in her comp now, doing well, nice friends, but I feel a little sad when i think of her reception and year 1 years as i know nursery, or being at home or a small private class would have been better for her.
It worked better for my younger one as she has the confidence for it

LimeTreeGrove · 31/05/2019 14:56

Actually primary altogether wasn't great for her socially but secondary has been much better

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