Can you mix unschooling and state school?

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I'd love to home school my kids, maybe leaning towards unschooling even.

My reasons are that I want them to learn by following what they are interested in, possibly with some structure to make sure all the bases are covered. And I want them to be self motivated to learn and not think about tests and exams. I'd prefer them to spend loads of time outside and minimal time sitting, stuff like that.

They're not old enough for school yet, and in reality I don't think I'm brave enough to keep them out of the school system. I'd also worry about the socialising aspect and that I might not pick up on issues like dyslexia by myself.

Do you think I can create some of what I want while the kids are at school? Maybe the odd term, or year out to travel and home school. Can I realistically allow them to opt out of homework in primary so that time can be devoted to our own projects? Can you opt out of tests/exams? Do you think just telling a child not to get worked up about practicing for sats or whatever would work when presumably the teachers are pushing students to study?

We're definitely not interested in going private as we would have to work more to afford it. We would prefer state school with lots of family time than private school with less time spent together.

As you can probably tell, these aren't very well thought out ideas. I'm just thinking ahead about what's best.

Hmm. I'm not sure that planning to send your child to school from the outset is really compatible with unschooling.

Unschooling is a philosophy in which the child takes control of their learning journey, with adults facilitating. I know of older unschooled children who have, themselves, chosen to go into the school system for certain reasons, temporarily or for a longer period. There's a big difference between that (where it is undertaken as a conscious decision, and pretty much as a learning experience in itself, and with the knowledge that if it isn't a positive experience the child will come out again with full parental support) and sending your child to school and try to do fun creative stuff with them outside.

Unschooling wouldn't be compatible with the national curriculum for starters! Because the national curriculum is about all children being exposed to particular types of learning at particular stages, and that is adult led, on an adult timetable, rather than being child led.

Also, unschooling isn't compatible with "a little bit of structure". As soon as you introduce adult educational agenda, rather than supporting the child in following his/her own agenda, then you aren't unschooling any more.

NB we were pretty unschool-y when our children were younger, but have veered more towards "a little bit of structure" through upper primary and into secondary age, responding to their needs and aspirations. That's pretty common among home educators.

If you're interesting in unschooling, try something like this sandradodd.com/unschooling.html

I know one woman who homeschools in my area who has hooked her DD up with the primary school who deals with traveller children and she takes her kid in and out of school. I think things like this vary massively in different areas.

I did consider homeschooling, but ended up choosing school. Of course it is possible to homeschool and spend loads of family time outdoors and doing other kinds of learning. There are very many weeks school holidays and weekends for a start.

I think you need to think about whether your kids would want to be different in a state school by opting out of loads of activities their peers are doing.

I don't think what you envision would be easy. Few schools are keen on part-time attendance. Staff believe in the value of what they are doing at school, and aren't very likely to really grasp or appreciate other ways of learning. For this reason, they usually want children there full time. You do have the absolute right to part-time attendance until they reach "Compulsory School Age" in the term after their fifth birthday, but beyond that it is at the discretion of the headteacher and most are not supportive of the idea.

Also, I think it's unrealistic to think that you can give your children a true immunity to the worldview to which they will be exposed for a thousand hours of every year at school. They might be among the rare few who will retain their childish curiosity, self-motivation, and drive in spite of the school environment. It can happen. Some of the greatest thinkers the world has ever seen are survivors of the school system. But it's a big risk. An awful lot of people do emerge from school believing that they cannot learn without being taught, that external rewards are a necessary and effective motivation, that maths is boring and dance is irrelevant. There's no easy antidote while they spend six hours a day in the company of (and subject to the power of) adults who believe in the school approach.

You seem to be resigning yourself and your children to a future in which you'll lack the courage of your convictions, hoping somehow to partially offset the damage which you expect school will do. Instead, why not invest energy into exploring home ed further, with a view to finding the courage to do it - or, if you genuinely decide school is more suitable for your children, embracing what school has to offer them and sending them to school willingly?

Spend time in the company of other home ed families over the next year or two. You'll get a better idea of how it can look, especially as you see what effect this type of education has had on older children. Ask other parents about what struggles they've had, or haven't had. See whether the kids overall seem to be poorly socialised or the opposite. Ask the parents of unschooled teens, or the teens themselves, whether they've missed out on anything by not having "all the bases covered".

Ideally have these conversations in person, because you can cover much more territory quickly while your kids play and you find out whether there may be many potential friends for them among the local home ed community. Alternatively, raise these subjects here for discussion, read blogs and books about unschooling or about home education in general.

You probably have many acquaintances already whose children have gone to school. You could have the same types of conversations with them. How much do their kids enjoy learning? Do they look forward to school at the end of the holidays because they've been missing it? Are there essential subjects which they haven't learned well? How positive are their social experiences at school? What are the best and worst aspects of school for them?

Opting out of homework, tests - no. I asked the same for my autistic son who couldn't handle homework after a long, stressful day at school and was told that he'd be kept in as punishment at break time. And funny you should mention dyslexia as the school didn't pick up on it, but once we were home edding I got a private assessment and diagnosis, then tutoring by a specialist dyslexia tutor.

It varies massively from school to school. Legally there is a scheme called flexi-schooling. Parents have the right to ask the head for flexi-schooling, however, it is up to the head to give it or not. On the other hand, I see that schools are quite quick to give reduced timetables when the student is consider "troublesome".

Tests? What tests? You don't have compulsory tests in the UK. Yes, you have SATs but they are not really compulsory, it's not like if you don't sit them you can't advance to the next year, and schools don't have set assessments to see if you can move on to the next year or not... yes, school will want all students to do these SATs or phonics assessments as they need to fill our their report to the central government and for the league tables. However, you can either not take your kid to school that day, or just don't talk about the results, which, by the way, are irrelevant for students as they are only worth for the league tables. SATs in Y6 are even more useless as secondary schools don't even look at these results, and the first term of Y7 they get assessed again to do the groupings.

You can take your kids out of school for a couple of months and then enrolled them again. The way you do it will depend on your headmaster. He may say that he will keep the space open for you or he may say they won't, in which case you would have to reapply. I have friends who took their kids out of school for travelling and then they put them back again.

You can do unschooling. Unschooling does not mean that there is no structure. In unschooling you still teach your child the way you think best, but rather than impose the projects and topics, they have the choice to choose what they want to do.

Some people have taken to the extreme and they think unschooling is just not teaching anything and they let their kids teach everything themselves. But this is not really what Taylor Gatto described in his books. However, if they choose to do that, it's up to them. You can make your own choices.

I think schools do vary in their philosophies and if you do choose schools it's important to choose one that aligns with your own values, if possible, and ask questions during open days to get an idea about whether what you're looking for is possible.

For example, we have chosen to send DD to school in September but have chosen a. School that does not issue any homework at all. It was a big factor in choosing the school.