How do you motivate your kids?

[ForeverBlowingBubbles]

I've been HE'ing DD since Easter. Just looking for tips on how to motivate or inspire her to do things. She is motivated and inspired when we go out to do things, really enjoys art and craft, loves reading, etc. But I find it really hard to get her to take an interest in non-fiction books, or to search the internet for info (although she loves searching for kids websites), or to do any writing. She will write for pleasure, but is less keen to do so for things she actually needs to learn.

It's not a huge problem, I'm mostly happy with the progress she has made since leaving school, and the confidence that is growing in her. I just wondered what other HE familys do... She's 8 btw.

Will check back for replies as soon as I can.
Thanks

Hi,
My dd is 8 and is not keen on writing either.
Has your daughter read the Horrible Histories or Horrible Science books? These are great non-fiction books.
A good website is www.atschool.co.uk it is packed full of educational stuff but is lots of fun too!

I've found it was actually me that needed to 'de-school'. It is very hard to get out of the mindset that we have to have 'written' evidence of what we have learnt. In school it is the main way to assess a childs progress.
I have found that sitting and talking about things that have been learnt a better way to inspire my dd.
The written work we produce is entirely for the benefit of my LA inpector!

We've been HE since last July and I still feel like I'm new to this. It's early days for you too, I've found putting any pressure on my dd to do anything just makes her dig her heels in and do less.

We recently had our LA visit and although I don't feel like we do anything she was very impressed with the amount of work we had done in the last year, as you are probably aware they don't do very much in school anyway!

Thanks for your helpful replies

Runnerbean - Not had visit from LA yet. I will check out that website - thanks for link, and for the reassurance!

DomesticGrumpess - You're probably right about needing to de-school, I think it's probably more me than her. What sort of thing does your DD do in her journal (if you don't mind me asking)?

Thanks for that DG, that sounds like something my DD might actually enjoy doing. I'll see what she thinks.

Thanks Riven - lots of food for thought there, much appreciated

Hi Bubbles

I think you have answered yourself here, your dd is motivated to do the things that interest her, but not motivated to do the things YOU think she should be interested in

I have never made my children do anything at all, they have both followed their own interests totally. I have had no problems with motivation as they are living their own lives the way they want to. My role has been to put things in their way that they might possibly be interested in, and to let them choose whether or not to pursue it. So, I have booked them into sessions of canoeing, climbing, etc (with their permission). I have helped them find a tutor for German, music, martial arts etc, etc when that became an expressed interest. I have helped them with research and resources for any area where they have requested more information, or have helped them to find out more on their own.

I have a strong belief that in the same way as research has shown that a child will pick a balanced diet if given a free choice of a large variety of foods, a child will also pick a balanced education if given free access to a large range of experiences and resources.

It has worked with mine

Thanks for your reply Mehetabel.

I am fairly unstructured, and most things we do are child-led, but I have found I can't be totally unstructured. FWIW, DD and I did agree before we started HE that there would be a tiny bit of formal stuff to do a couple of times a week. And this week has been a bit better, actually, since I started this thread.

Would absolutely love to be able to offer her the sort of opportunities you mention, but that's not going to be affordable any time soon, unfortunately. She does do 3 outside-the-home activities with other kids though, each week.

Deep down, I know this whole thing is down to my own problems and insecurities, and that I should trust her more, I just find it really hard sometimes.

Hi Bubbles

It is really hard trusting to them, I agree. I have had my moments in the past of screaming at mine that they will have to go to school if they don't do something to show they are learning. I found this wore off after a few years though, and slowly I came to realise that they are learning loads, just in their own way, for instance, dd (11) has decided to learn Japanese by watching endless Manga videos on the net, and quite often now surprises me by her knowledge of all kinds of things that I had no idea she knew anything about at all.

The activities I mentioned were spread out over the last 21 years! We have been on a low income almost for ever (feels like it anyway) and every penny has to count, but we have usually found some way to help them follow their interests, so when my son wanted to learn ju-jitsu we funded the first year, then he worked out a deal with the tutor that he would work as an assistant in return for tuition. When he wanted to learn the guitar he approached a local home ed dad and negotiated a lower rate then bought and sold items on ebay to fund it. Later when he was proficient at guitar he wanted to learn to play drums and piano and so he posted on a local message boards for a skills swap and ended up getting piano lessons from an international concert pianist in return for teaching her husband guitar, and then drum lessons from a well known drummer on the same basis. I didn't give my son any money after the age of 16, he has supported himself through college and university, although we did give him food and board.

There is usually some way to get anything they really want, and supporting them, but not doing it for them teaches them valuable lessons in being self sufficient in my opinion.
They are fantastic and resourceful human beings, given the chance to prove it ;)