I need some help re home ed

[changedwayofthinking]

I have posted before under other names but am really at a point where I need some advice.
I’ll be honest I’ve always thought school is the best place for children but it’s become clear it’s not the case. There seems to be no reasonable adjustments made for us

I had to home Ed my eldest for a year before her GCSEs due to health problems and the school weren’t helpful. Home Ed went well she did well in exams.
I think it was easier with an older child perhaps ? She was motivated too

My younger ones at Primary have long term conditions plus unwell in general a lot.
I thought as had Drs letters school would be ok but we are getting hell about this and now I feel I need to seriously consider home Ed.
I worry they will be sad to leave and will miss their friends. The school does some lovely trips etc and activities but they cannot for some reason accept that the children are unwell and we as parents are put under a lot of stress and it has got to the point now after years of this that we feel we need to look at all options

I wish tbh I’d realised and home educated from the beginning but I didn’t think it’d turn out this way 😔 I feel like that way home ed would have been the norm for them
I’m currently negotiating trying one last time to get this resolved and maybe they can stay at school but if not what do I need to do?
I know the legalities and the work we could do it’s more how do I maintain the emotional stability of children who liked school ? My eldest hated it and wanted to leave
My younger ones only hate school when they feel unwell and can’t manage it as it makes them feel worse ...
If they are de registered is it true they need to have a period of time to adjust to be ‘de schooled/un schooled’ is the term I’ve heard before.

If I had a call now to say ‘don’t worry we take back all we said just bring them when they are well and we accept the proof from Drs don’t worry attendance levels will never be mentioned again ‘ then I’d be so happy but it’s not going to happen is it.

So, what do I need to know so tbatnof this happens I do this properly, give them a good all round educational and keep them emotionally well

I don’t understand this, if the teachers know that it is due to ill health not luxury holidays in term time then why put you and your children through the stress. I understand that school have a responsibility regarding attendance but this is an exception.
This is what grinds my gears about ofsted, a school is difined in a community by them yet they cannot undisclose exeptional circumstances.
Ridiculous

It actually makes me want to cry thinking of taking them out as they do actually like school on days they are well. I would much rather work with the school but it’s got to this point
‘Improve their attendance’
‘We can’t they were ill/at an appt, etc’
‘It has to improve you may get fined. Bring in proof’

So we get so many medical letters. Over stressed as they clearly don’t believe us. We take prescriptions in. We ask please can the attendance target be lowered for our dc as a ‘reasonable adjustment ‘
No.

We are being treated appallingly and it’s upsetting us. The dc are oblivious as we don’t wan them aware of adult issues or to feel differently about teachers they like and respect
It is so hard. Home ed is a last resort but feels we are getting close

I feel very sorry for you and your dcs as I read that, but it also raises some questions.

Any school whihc is continuing to badger after proper medical evidence is out of line, and I am wondering what the illness are?
Not that you have to tell me but, is this general bugs and colds etc, or do you dc have health issues that are diagnosed? If the second, I would look to see if your council has a parent support worker and try and get a long term resolution from higher up

Both

Long term conditions that consultants have written about plus also frequent chest infections, bad colds, etc they pick up everii suspect as they are never 100% they are more susceptible

Everything
Not everii suspect ! No idea where they came from

Currently the school have called in the EWO we have (again) re submitted all letters etc to him and are praying he sees this for what it is and realised we are doing our best. They need to leave us alone. He seems so far understanding
If not then it will have to be home ed as the stress is too much

Have you met with the EWO?

You may find he is much more sympathetic than the school.
I would meet him, and ask him ot look at their long term diagnosis and their general health, and reach a compromise, especially around what evidence they need each time they are ill.

It is the EWO you need to satisfy, not the school.

Hi @changedwayofthinking , from personal experience I would push for EOTAS (Educated Other Than At School) instead of accepting EHE if you are being pushed out of school. That way, you at least get free council tutoring which might be very helpful later on and the LEA doesn't just drop you with no support at all. EOTAS is for children who miss school for health/mental health reasons.

Given that your children are so happy at school, if I were you I would involve the council (EWO) and see if they will lean on the school to treat you and your children more sensibly.

If your children have missed, or are expected to miss, at least 15 days in total due to illness in a year, the LA should be involved already, with a named contact who is responsible for helping to ensure that their learning is not affected. This person could, for example, liaise with the school to ensure work is sent home, or arrange for a tutor if the children are at risk of falling behind. www.gov.uk/illness-child-education