Taking year 5 child out of school in Wales. Help please.

[Lazybonita]

Hi,

I will try to keep this brief. My 9 year old has developed severe anxiety about going to school.
He was previously happy in school but he is dyslexic and anxious and is finding year 5 too much.
He is currently in a very large composite class with year 6.
The school is a good one and they offer him good support with his additional needs. He has friends and is not being bullied that we are aware of.
It seems that he is overwhelmed by the large class and feels real stress and pressure as they are all being pushed to be ready for comp. he says he often feels stupid and doesn’t understand the lessons.
The immediate problem is that since term has started he has become deeply distressed about going to school. He is crying at bedtime, getting up in the night and waking up crying.
In the last couple of days he has started scratching at his own arm while in school in a bid to stop himself crying in school which has left him with a sore red arm. He is also complaining of a tummy ache every bedtime. None of this is common for him.
He started scratching at his arm last night while talking about going to school. I do not want this to become habitual.
We do not feel able to send him today.
I am planning to go in and talk to the school today but I don’t think there is much they can do. I just hope they are supportive.
I have booked an appointment with a nice GP but can’t see her until next week.
My DH and I are going to look at a small independent school on Friday.
But in the short term we don’t know what our rights are in regards to keeping him off?
And if we need to homeschool for a while I don’t really know where to start?
I am at home so that is not a problem.
If anyone has any advice I would be very grateful.
Thank you

Oh op I just felt I had to reply here. Your poor ds!
My ds was in the same boat but was only year 1. A good school, but the fast pace was too much for him and it was making him anxious and ill. He also ended up being classed as additional needs which was a surprise to me.
I pulled him out to home ed last April and it has worked really well for him. He is much happier, more confident and learning at a faster rate than he was in class as his learning is tailored for him. It started off as a temporary plan though.
Your ds only gets 1 chance at childhood and if he is not happy then go for it. You just need to send a letter to the head stating home education so that they can inform your LEA. This link will help you with this:
www.educationotherwise.org/index.php/deregistration

The local authority may then check. I was very open with our Lea and they were supportive. It can vary depending on your area.
You are not required to follow the national curriculum but some people do to make any starting school again easier at a later date.
Many people on here swear by local Facebook for local networking. You can also set up a local whatsapp group. I follow home educators on instagram for ideas. There are lots of videos from other home educators on youtube too. They share their ideas and give tips, websites, recommendations etc. Also look up Charlotte Mason methods as a starting point.

Do you have any forest schools near you?

It takes a good few months to find your own flow but that's ok. Your methods will get tweaked as you go along. Keep looking on this forum for tips too.

In the short term, while your son remains registered at school, the only circumstance in which you can legally keep your son off school is if there is a good reason he is unable to attend. If the school agree that his anxiety make it impossible for him to attend then they will authorise the absence. If they don't, you'll need to be prepared to fight any truancy prosecution the LA may try to bring.

I suggest you ask on one of the forums for people whose children attend school, where there will be other people who have experience. I have heard that in cases of stress and anxiety, when communicating with the school/LA it is helpful to use the right wording to make it clear that your son isn't CHOOSING not to attend, but is actually UNABLE to attend, or that it is clearly harmful to his health for him to attend. Backup from healthcare professionals is really useful, so if the GP or CAMHS will agree that your son is too unwell to attend school then you can use that.

Ultimately schools and LAs often don't deal well with this situation. They may be sympathetic in a limited way but eventually start pushing harder to get the child to school. If the child's anxiety just increases every time they go in, parents may eventually decide that home education is better.

So yes, if I were you I would keep him at home for the time being on the grounds that he is medically unfit to attend. If the school doesn't accept the legitimacy of that and keep marking it unauthorised then you'll want to assemble all the evidence you can.

Good luck!

Thank you very much for you replies.
It is a difficult time and it is so hard to know what to do for the best.
We have a meeting with the headteacher today. I know that she will have concerns about attendance and I’m not sure what the best way forward will be. I suspect that it may be to withdraw him and Home school while we consider our other options. It might well be that Home Ed is the best way forward for him.

Thanks again.